I think this is a good place to start. I don’t know how to deal with this kind of thing.

I’m in therapy, and I‘ve been working on myself, but I“m still scared.It's not that you're being stupid or anything; it just sucks that your brain is so wired for controlling emotions. You need help, not anger. I'm sorry you're going through this. It's hard to explain, but basically: You're a young woman who has a lot of trauma, and it's hard as hell to control it. You're not crazy, you're just having a hard time. You can try therapy