What are you defending yourself from? No one's attacking you... you asked me why I felt your comments came across that way and I replied. The misquote changes nothing, you still wouldn't ask someone if English is their first language and ignore the comment, to suggest so is clearly ingenuous.
Like I said, you come across as someone who sees the negatives. It looks to me like you think everyone is attacking you and are therefore responding defensively, which then comes across as aggressive.
To answer your question, how would I ask someone? I wouldn't, it's obviously irrelevant, as is this discussion at this point.
As I said, have a good day.