3天前

want to be a woman

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I would love to be an attractive woman. It would be like an all you can f*** buffet. I'm an ugly dude who has to work extremely hard to get laid. I dream of being sexually attractive.
However, I really really would not wish to be trans. I simply don't have the courage to face the backlash of all the bigoted backwards losers who hate on them. That's why I absolutely admire and support trans people because unfortunately (and also somewhat ironically), in our day and age, it still takes a lot of balls to be trans.
- I'm reminded of someone I know. He felt something similar for a long time. Ultimately he concluded that, for him, what he really wanted was to feel attractive and desirable. And sincr he believed that only women could have that, he spend years conflicted about wanting to be a woman.
  After some time around sex-positive people, he had experiences that helped him feel desirable and attractive as a man. He realised that was what he actually wanted, and he'd just been taught beauty was a women-thing and thought he had to be a woman to have it.
  Maybe that rings true for you, too. Maybe all you really want is to feel beautiful, wanted, desired. Maybe want you dislike isn't your gender, but the role society has assigned you for it.
  Only you can really figure that out. I just wondered if my friends story would mean something to you.. Being trans is a valid answer, but it isn't the right one for everybody.
  
  Absolutely, and I am aware of that - it's really the case with me. I do not dislike being male. I just dislike being ugly - not many people can claim to have spent 20 years as an involuntary celibate like me. I'm almost 50 and it just feels like so much wasted time. Wasted youth, really.
  Going trans wouldn't solve the problem at all. Nothing will solve the problem, to be honest. I have accepted my fate.
  
  Bro there are catgirls on Discord who think the physical world is an illusion and would cybersex you without ever looking at your face.
  Most of them are gay, but there's enough bi and straight ones that you have a chance.
  
  Yes, they'd cybersex me without looking at my face, but that is precisely what would not at all fulfill my desire to be considered attractive.
  
  And what if you did a roleplay where you were a big tiddy dragoness who everyone thought was hot?
  
  Pretending doesn't work for me, unfortunately. Gotta be real desire by real people for real me. It's a curse.
  
  That sucks. You're not made of flesh, you're a network of electrical signals. You should be able to judge yourself by the attractiveness of your personality, not some homunculus meat vessel.
  
  I'm doing that, but I need other people to do that as well.
  
  Discord catgirls, man, that's what I've been saying
- It’s only a “fuck buffet” if you have zero standards and are willing to possibly be raped, beat, strangled etc. finding a man who’s a good person, good in bed, safe, single and trustworthy isn’t actually easy… I think it’s so bizarre when men talk about women and sex like this, like sure if having sex and potentially risking your life with random provably ugly scary people is your thing I guess it would be nice but most women aren’t looking for rapists, abusers, zero chemistry, or any other harm that can come from being extremely vulnerable with a person who has the physical condition to ruin or end your life
  
  At least you'd have the option
  
  Not always. Sadly, being coerced into sexual activities that you don’t want to do is part of the equation too.
  
  Yeah I'm not saying it's a good thing all around, just acknowledging that it sucks on both sides of the fence but for different reasons
- For me (also as a not-so-attractive male, IMO), it's not the yearning for getting laid so much as the being in a loving relationship (masturbating is enough to calm my sex drive down). Thankfully, I've been in a very long-term relationship (~10 years). I remember it was literally driving me crazy being so emotionally isolated. I think a lot of people, woman and men, regardless of their sexual activity, have the same problems of isolation.
  
  Well, for me it really is the overwhelming desire of being found physically attractive by someone. Anyone. So relationships or one night stands, doesn't really matter.
  It's literally an insane thought to me that even average looking girls don't have a hard time attracting members of the opposite sex. But for me, any time I approached a girl, I got hit hard by rejection and humiliation. And now that I'm older, most women are married or in long-term relationships anyway, so things have become even more impossible. It's become so ridiculous that the mere thought of being found desirable in and of itself is a sexual turn on for me - so I find myself imagining to be the woman when watching porn, even though I'm not attracted to men at all.
  
  Very very few people in this world feel truly attractive, women included. Body image and self-esteem are almost universal problems. This is not your fault.
  I suspect this is an issue of perspective. You desire women, so you believe you must be a woman to be desirable. And you desire them for their beauty, so you believe you must be beautiful. This is perspective, not objective truth. Neither has to be true of you. Only if you decide its the only option do you leave yourself with no option at all. At that point, you've decided failure for yourself.
  If what you want is to feel desirable and you teuly are 'ugly' (whatever that means to you), your odds are better if you're attracted to women. In relationships, women more commonly value non-visible traits like communication, resilience, consideration, humour, and skill. Attraction is more holistic. I've known of at least two men getting married with almost no face at all (one taken off by a grizzly bear, the other obscured by large benign growths). Both had kids, too. In a healthy relationship, holistic desire grows.
  You are thirsty in the desert, and that's awful. You fantasise about drowning in the lake because it looks like a solution to your problem, just as those drowning desperately wish they could stand on the solid cracked earth.
  
  I think this is really really perceptive. Thank you for taking the time to write it all.
  
  Hmm, don't have any experience with those exact feelings myself, but I suppose they're valid. There isn't some kind of "peak" physical attractiveness, at least in my mind. There's tons of people all with tons of preferences. Like, I find most women attractive, regardless, or for, their unconventionally attractive attributes. I imagine many women are the same way.
  
  If you want to imagine fucking women as a woman, watch gay porn.
- Friend, I have news for you, if the only reason you wouldn't want to be trans is because of society's backlash while wishing you were an attractive woman...well...
  
  But if a genie were to grant me three wishes, becoming a super hot 18 year old girl would be on the list.
  
  Well, an ugly dude like me going trans would result in an ugly trans person, not an attractive woman, so there's that.
  
  Not true. Trans people get hotter when they transition. Not saying you're trans, I just want you to have all the information.
  
  Yeah no, I was ugly before and now I'm an ugly trans person. Being like this is obviously way better than how I was before transitioning for multiple personal reasons, but it's not some magical miracle cure to looks. I think people say that because transitioning makes them feel so much better about themselves, so they stop perceiving and judging themselves so negatively. The boost in confidence probably makes them seem "hotter" too, since people tend to perceive confidence to be attractive after all
  
  I commend you for your opinion, but would I believe I got hotter? No. And that's the point.
- Are you gay? Your comment lower in this thread seem to indicate you are attracted to women. An attractive woman might be able to fuck a lot of men, but if you're not gay I don't know why you'd deem that outcome as desirable.
  
  If OP was gay, wouldn't gay men be the ideal, but also untouchable? I assume being with a straight man as a gay man isn't ideal.
  The only way this makes sense is if OP is bi or the attraction gets switched upon becoming female.
  
  Yea, that's basically my point. I don't know why the desire is to be an attractive woman. Why not wish to be attractive man? Attractive men get plenty of action. What is it about being a woman specifically? I'm not saying they're trans, I just think it's worth some self reflection.
- It might look great from the outside and there is some privilege there, but she is a targeted group and life can be very scary and hard for her.
- Not sure what being sexually attractive has to do with specifically being a woman as opposed to being a man.
  I think that severely discounts the internal experiences of what trans people go through and the reasons why they transition.

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