A cuppa Jill

Isn’t water already the nickname for dihydrogen monoxide?

Council pop

Municipal soda

Tell me you've never been to Glasgow without telling me you've never been to Glasgow

Crisp wet

In Dutch for example you can call it "gemeentepils", which will translate to something like communal lager.

Wet me

wa wa

Idk what y'all weirdos are doing, but we call it God's Milk or Sky Milk like normal ppl

It does. OP just don't know any.

H2O is about the only one I can think of.

Earth sauce

I've seen it listed on product ingredients as "aqua".

I prefer to call it "glug".

Gänsewein.

Chestnut needs liquid refreshment man.

I’ve heard “Adam’s Ale”.