Trump Angry Not A Single Visiting European Leader Wearing Lederhosen, Tiny Hat

WASHINGTON—Taking offense that European leaders had, in his view, disrespected the White House by showing up inadequately dressed to Monday’s closely watched Oval Office meeting with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky, President Donald Trump reportedly fumed that not a single one of them had arrived in lederhosen and a tiny feathered hat.

“It’s rude and, frankly, very nasty that you would come here today in such inappropriate clothing,” said an irate Trump, interrupting European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen’s pleas for Ukrainian aid as he chastised her decision to forgo painted wooden clogs, a puffy milkmaid dress, and Pippi Longstocking braids. “When you think of Europe, you think of the striped shirts with the scarf and beret, the Viking hat with the horns—hell, even a bullfighting costume would have been great.

Yet you choose to represent your countries at a meeting with the president of the United States in regular suits, without even carrying one of those hexagon accordion things? Disgraceful. Where’s the 20-foot-long trumpet? Keir [Starmer], where’s your monocle?