From burner phones to decks of cards: NYC teens are adjusting to the smartphone ban

Some real incredible spins in that article:

In Manhattan, Ethan Myer, a senior at Union Square Academy, said the ban is also helping kids get their steps in.

“Most people are just walking around the hall, because there's not really much else to do,” Myer said. "Some people are talking a bit more, which I guess was the goal.”

listless wandering is good for your health, kids!

Jem Bryant, a junior at Gramercy Arts High School, also near Union Square, is daydreaming more.

“I  don't really have a lot of friends in classes,” Bryant said. “So when they say ‘do your classwork’ and I'm already done, I literally just have to sit there and stare at the wall.”

Is this article satire and I'm just missing it? Fucking hell...