Anon gets robbed

Reminds me of a story a friend told me when I was traveling through South America.

My friend was walking home late at night and a guy from another country (forgot which, but it was obvious from his accent) asked him for money. This exchange of course happened in Spanish:

"I have an iron" "what does iron means in your country?" "by iron I mean knife" and pulls out a knife "oh, because here iron means this" and pulls out a gun.

Then the robber just ran away.

Imagine being the robber. I wouldn't even be able to contain myself from laughing

I would immediately interpret that as "I don't need a knife (to absolutely fuck you up right now)" based on the ~~oblivious~~ completely casual tone and lack of any fear.
- Which if you know anything about martial arts is complete bullshit and doesn't exist. If the dude has a knife, there isn't a "badass" alive that survives without huge injury, and death most times. There is a reason the saying "the winner of a knife fight dies in the ambulance" exists.

Not even joking something similar happened to me.

A dude told me he had a gun, he was trying to rob me or something. I just told him that was neat, like "oh cool.. this dude is just into guns or something".

It wasn't till later I realized he was trying to rob me. He just stared at me like I was a moron and walked away...

Similar story:

I was in Medellin, Colombia, outside of the football stadium, trying to see where the rest of our friends were at before heading inside. A guy came up and was saying he was a big fan of one of the teams playing. He lifted his shirt to show me a really shitty tattoo of the team logo. I noticed there was a knife in his wasteband, but I was distracted because I was looking for friends. He asked for me for money and I casually said, "No, Gracias." and walked away. He started yelling at me with a lot of fun Colombian bad words. I was wondering why he was so mad and as I was walking away, I realized he was trying to threaten me with the knife.

There were a lot of people around and police all around us. Really ballsy on his part for even attempting something like that there.

If I did that in a different situation, I probably would have been stabbed.

"from a friend"

"I was getting robbed"

Written from the perspective of said friend? It also says "I don't have any money"
IDK, do you really think someone would just go on the Internet and make up lies?

At a bus stop, I was nearly beaten for wearing the wrong color shirt. This fella was told to hit someone wearing red and, in an attempt at easing their conscience, kept trying to find a reason to dislike me. Meanwhile, I’m just confused and apparently befriending him over our shared hatred of Russians and security guards and a mutual love of Islam. Unlike the greentext, my guy had the courtesy to at least apologize and explain the situation. Feels like a fever dream and I do not expect a single human being to ever believe me. There is no punchline, just my continued confusion. I still do not know how to feel about this.

I suppose you were the punchline
befriending him over our shared hatred of Russians
hrmmm
- Do you have cousins? Both of us used to, and we were bitter. Given the current state of Russia, I’m still bitter but I can’t speak to their feelings now.