From Jimmy Kimmel: "Usha is Hindi for 'unsatisfied woman.'"

After sacrificing JD Vance to a volcano, the gods showed their displeasure by giving mankind seven years of plague and pestilence.

With friends like those, who needs enemas? (I know, Onion headline. Still, I'm sure there are plenty of people just like him all over the world. Try again ki- Moo hoo ha ha ha!)

Yep, I saw them coming in. Works well enough for me... Brazilians make the best Sega Genesis games!

You're a drip. I buy DVDs used from pawn shops and garage sales. I'm leaving a mouse-sized carbon footprint; there's no "toxic trash" that didn't already exist.

"When they go low, we go high! Ah, that brilliant political strategy that worked so well for the Democrats in 2016!" - Ronny Chieng

I haven't given up on DVDs. Don't assume we've all abandoned the disc format, because I'm certain many of us still use them.

Do you even know who your opponent is? Do you know what day it is? Point to the cow in this picture. No, that's a horse.

I don't think he's actually eligible. He was born in South Africa.

He should be the first living entity to be shot THROUGH Mars.

Maybe if he was smart, he'd just give up on the social network and sell it off to someone else. But he's not smart, so he'll keep sinking money into it until cooler heads in the company prevail. The era of social media dominance, I'm sorry to say, is over.

Be thorough! Surround him with bulletproof glass from all angles, and make sure there's no air holes where bullets could get through. He will be completely impervious to both bullets and oxygen!

Also like Fable, he makes a lot of tall promises he has no intention of keeping.

Charade you are, monopolistic asswipes! I switched to Firefox months ago!

Against Captain Bonespurs? Ha ha! HA HA HA! Get out of here with that shit. "Democracy dies in we're going to do some cheerleading for the dictator anyway."

Brain worms and bear cruelty are hot button issues for Joe Rogan, apparently. Is anyone really surprised the nutjob would pick the nutjob candidate?

Unlawful imprisonment seems to be more South Africa's specialty. Cough. Cough.

Between this, the antisemitism of Bobby Fischer, and the guy cheating with the power of teledildonics, I have to wonder what the hell is up with chess players.

It saddens me to agree with this. Who knew Google would become as oppressive as fucking MICROSOFT?

Gee, what a shame. Good think I switched to FireFox. Hey, does anyone know how to make chat work on FireFox?