Flushmaster @ Flushmaster @ttrpg.network

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Cast speak with dead, the victim will tell you who they are, how they died, who killed them, and whatever other two things you want to ask them.

Edit: I looked up your comic and read all the ones in the Konsi storyline. Very nice, cute, funny, and fun, particularly speaking as someone who identifies as a cleric main. Please make more. One question I have is what's her divine domain?

DM says "That's clearly not how the spell was ever intended to work and your explanation defies anything resembling common sense. You take two death save fails and lose the spell. Fuck off."

My alignment as a DM is "Dubious Mercurial."

If you're able to do it in a way that's actually enjoyable for the rest of the group, go for it. The problem with this sort of preference, however, is that a lot of people I've met and gamed with who set out with the specific intention of being "the weird one" end up just acting like annoying idiots. The ones who are good at it usually don't try to be weird on purpose, at least not as a primary defining feature of their character. They just play something fun and it works out however it does. Contrary to the popularity of the Slappy meme, most people don't enjoy playing with someone who thinks they're an actual clown, especially if they're bad at it. And if you must try to accomplish weirdness on purpose, do it in little bits, like the example in this comic. Be subtle and leave the polka dot costume, rainbow wig, and airhorn out of it.

I believe the proper way to signal to the government monitors that you're just a nerd and not a serial killer is to simply add "5e” to the end of the search qiery (or whatever other edition or game system you're using). Because people involved in cyber monitoring are all nerds too so they'll recognize the lingo. Heck, if your search looks interesting enough they might even make up an alias and ask to join your game.

No. Aes Sedai are what lawyers want to be when they grow up. Also Aes Sedai do magic.

I thought logic would indicate a place based on the Middle East would have a Swedish accent.

Does Southlander sound like Texan, Cajun, or Alabaman?

Also it appears that he had bacon and eggs for breakfast. And now I'm hungry.

Past Self: "If you shoot me, won't that mean you don't exist to shoot me?"

Future Self: "Compared to the mess you left me in, nonexistence would be bliss. Now get to work unless you want me to find out if this is a single contiguous time loop or if I'm on a temporal tangent."

Okay, so that's now in my memory. Also on my list of things that make me think, "what is the person who came up with this on and where can I get some?"

Okay, I'll bite. Wtf is this image from?

Honestly I'm not sure. I'm a cleric of the Porcelain God and there isn't anything in our dogma or scriptures about whether or not dragons used to have feathers. Not really my purview.

There's a sorcerer over here yelling something about how his grandmother wasn't a turkey.

I was totally going to reference this myself and you beat me to it.

This is actually sort of similar to my usual character creation process. I start with some basic concept and/or gimmick that's usually a little bit silly, corny, intentionally weird, etc, then I add to it until I've built a proper character around that goofy idea. I made an "anti-edgelord" bubbly church girl cleric that inadvertantly became a badass magical girl and grizzled war veteran. A barbarian that wears clothes made entirely from skunk skins and acts like a wise woodsman calling himself "the striped sage" even though he's mostly full of crap (but really good at hitting things with an axe). A rogue fleeing his home city because he got the sheriff's daughter pregnant while she was in a rebellious phase and slumming it with riffraff (her father is very unhappy). Most recently a druid with the noble background and concept of "rich kid college dropout runaway vagrant hippy chick" that the DM approved "but you're not just a noble you're a full on runaway princess."

You get a clear gimmick to start with that works as an icebreaker with the party and an easy beginning point for roleplaying. You can play up that gimmick as much as you want to, or even hint at it and make it something your character is obviously trying to hide or minimize. Once the gimmick is established you start adding the serious parts you've built up around the gimmick. Conversely you could introduce them as a straight laced, serious character then start hinting at the weird gimmick or just spring it on everybody at an unexpected time to get that wonderful WTF reaction when the other players notice it. Either way it gives you a solid starting point that you can build and develop your character from as they interact with other PCs and the world in general.

Edit: This method also works great for making memorable NPCs if you're the DM. Take the basic narrative function you need the NPC for (merchant, quest giver, distressed citizen, local lord/lady, etc) give them a mildly weird gimmick that will stick in players' minds.

All of that fiery stuff is actually defensive. Those are flares that are launched en masse to divert incoming heat seaking missiles. There's usually a bunch of antiradar chaff getting launched too but it isn't very visible. So it would be providing a bonus to Armor Class. The effect is sometimes called the "angel flare" because from head on all the fire and smoke patterns resemble angel wings (this mage is zoomed in to much to show the full pattern).

This is why you don't allow homebrew from idiots.

There's also nothing saying the dog is going to be any good at it, but I've seen a few humans do worse than I'd expect from a Chihuahua so I guess it would be better than nothing.

Closest any of my recent parties have done to a heist was rescuing an NPC from bad faith indentured servitude in a brothel. It started with the artificer and necromancer invisible and the rogue dressed in drag (I convinced the DM that I should get advantage on impersonating a woman because my character is an elf). The whole thing went pretty much as I expected. The soundtrack would have started with Yakkity Sax (aka the Benny Hill song) and ended with Disco Inferno.

The best part was about five minutes after the fireball threshold was reached, a player who had recently had to drop from the game due to a work schedule change popped into the voice call on her lunch break to see how we were doing. I said her warlock would be proud of us. "What are you burning down now?" "Another brothel!" "Oh, neat!"

That's the point. If you want everything right away just start with max level characters. Congratulations, no more leveling up means no more agonizing choices.

And no, having a more powerful character at level X doesn't change this. It just means that either your DM starts throwing comparably more powerful enemies at you or everything gets easier. In the first case you're accomplishing nothing because everybody involved is just adding some extra numbers to their rolls. And if you want everything to be easier you might as well just assume you always succeed on every check and get max damage on every attack. For that matter don't bother even pretending to be interested in dice, begin every combat by just describing how you massacre your foes. Then type up a description of it and you're writing a book instead of actually playing a game.