arumi @ arumi @endlesstalk.org

Posts

1

Comments

30

Joined

3 wk. ago

He never asked for a reason. Bringing it up myself out of nowhere would make him think I am narcissistic who assumed he's in love with me. Or maybe I am just overthinking

Thank you very much! He never asked me to go on a trip with him and honestly I would say no if he did. He offered to pay but I offered to split the bill. When he refused, I bought dessert for both of us, I hope that made it atleast subtle that I am not trying to use him for his money, in any way

So should I just ask him directly that why is he asking me to hangout with him one on one? What are his intentions? Will he not be offended?

I totally understand your point!! But in the past, it has happened quite often with my Japanese friends that they assumed I am giving them hint that I want to sleep with them, only because I gave them a goodbye hug. All of these guys were closer to my age. But I do that to all of my friends from every nationality regardless of gender. I stopped doing that with any japanese friends tho, including this guy, I just shaked his hand and said goodbye.

Thank you very much for providing such a detailed and thorough explanation using your own insights as a man !😊😊

To answer your question, he maintained his physical boundaries with me in the entire duration. And after the hangout was over, he told me that my eyes looked beautiful today, he wants to hangout with me again. On the same day he asked if I am done with work and I told him I am very tired after coming back so he said he would have given me a shoulder massager if I was with him at the moment. So I only said I appreciate it.

After that we haven't exchanged any text messages

I work at a daycare, part time and talk with parents regularly about their child’s well being. The fathers are as aware about what’s going on with their children as the mother

I came here to get advice. Isn’t that what people do in such platforms? I have specifically asked in my post, how to bring up this topic with him without sounding like a narcissist who assumed he wants to sleep with me just because he asked me out for lunch.

What is the relation between him being Japanese and spending time with his kids lol? I see Japanese men being very dedicated fathers, making sure to spend time with their kids and get involved in their life.

And 13 years age difference is massive for any type of relationship, it’s transcending generations technically

I don’t want to assume things, i thought it’s a date but I wasn’t sure. I have all reasons to believe it’s not a date unless he specifically mentions it. He only said if i am free on Saturday, let’s grab lunch

Also from your comment it seems you’re one of those people who think men and women cannot be platonically friends

He never explicitly mentioned it’s a date, I didn’t see a reason of saying no to meet as friends