Sadly, this is not the Onion. !nottheonion@zerobytes.monster

For true stories that you could have sworn were from The Onion.

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Head of Corporate Social Responsibility among WWE cuts

Bear meat kebabs at a family reunion lead to rare outbreak of roundworm disease

Nicki Minaj Arrested In Amsterdam For Alleged Drug Possession

Man says he ordered burger with everything removed, received empty box and gave big tip

Austin's hippie culture thrives as a top naked gardening city

Pope clears way for first millennial saint, dubbed ‘God’s Influencer’

What classic TV houses cost in today’s housing market. Hint you probably can’t afford any of them

Family stricken with rare brain worms after eating undercooked bear

Gov. Newsom's 1,200 tiny homes for California homeless remain vacant

California to legalize human composting by 2027 as residents seek environmentally healthy burials

Sheriff: Alabama woman arrested for stealing flowers from graves

Great Job, Internet: Google’s AI feeds people answers from The Onion

UFC fighter says he’ll homeschool son so he doesn’t ‘end up turning gay’

Hiker mauled by grizzly in Grand Teton National Park played dead, officials say; bear won't be pursued

Mexican cartels taking control of tortilla industry

Louisiana governor signs bill making abortion drugs controlled dangerous substances

‘Fallout’ Producer Jonathan Nolan Wonders ‘Where Are All the Original Stories?’ Amid Rise of TV Adaptations

2 WA men accused of selling fake Pokémon, sports cards in $2M scheme

Blind and deaf dog Teddy got lost in a neighbor’s yard. Police called to help him shot him dead

NFL sold out of Harrison Butker women’s jerseys following Benedictine graduation speech