How do you deal with feeling like you’re not doing enough?
How do you deal with feeling like you’re not doing enough?
I try to do what I can to make my local community better. I research and vote in every election, donate money to local nonprofits and also volunteer there when I can (heading to the food bank in a bit, yay!), and try to speak out and offer words of encouragement when I can.
But I live in a very socially, politically, and religiously conservative community. And I…am not. It constantly feels like any effort amounts to pissing in the wind, and yet also like I am not doing nearly enough at all. It makes me anxious a lot.
The latest iteration of this is local people trying to get “obscene” children’s and YA books in the public library moved to the adult section. And to be clear most of these books are not obscene they just acknowledge that, hey people who are LGBTQ+ (sorry if I got that initialization wrong!) exist and that racism is a real thing. I went to the public meeting and was mostly ineffective except I got to thank the library director for her work pushing back against this. I would love to write a Letter to the Editor of the local paper to speak out, but there is a risk of retaliation against my family members and their local businesses. And most of the community seems to be behind this which is absolutely bonkers to me. I don’t know what to do.
I don’t even know where I’m going with this. I think I just needed to say it. Anyone else deal with something similar- feeling like you need to do more but also feeling completely defeated about actually getting anything to change?
I cycle through feeling like I'm not doing anything and feeling like I'm too tired to do anything. Largely I've accepted that, in my situation, I can help best by ensuring I'm creating safe spaces for people and sharing my differing opinion when asked.
I've learned what people it is safe to share these opinions around and who it isn't. I don't interact with certain members of my family because of their conservative viewpoints. But I've made it clear to others in the family that I am more socialist and accepting and willing to give them a space to explore and ask questions.
I get anxious a lot. I struggle with mental health issues and wish there was a way I could have a bigger impact. But it is also important to recognize how much energy you have to give. It might not feel like a lot but if it is what you can handle without burning yourself out, that's very important. The fear of backlash from the wider community in your situation is a very real fear and you are not failing anyone by acknowledging this and keeping yourself safe. But making the groups of people who are seeking someone to talk to when they don't agree with the local consensus is a huge step in changing the way an area thinks. Or, at the very least, could help some people realize they don't fit/aren't welcome somewhere and go somewhere they are.
11ensuring I’m creating safe spaces for people and sharing my different option when asked.
But it is also important to recognize how much energy you have to give. It might not feel like a lot but if it is what you can handle without burning yourself out, that's very important.
These are good things to remember, thanks!
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If you or your family are in danger, you might think about leaving. The fever of fascism is like being in a house that the residents are setting on fire. They don’t care if it burns them, they don’t even think far enough ahead to realized that it will burn them. They just want to burn you. The residents inside with the lighters and cans of petrol aren’t listening to you. And spitting on the flames isn’t enough. Sometimes the best you can do is to get out of the smoldering house and pour water on it from the outside.
Edit: grammar
7I don’t think anything would escalate to physical danger or like, property damage, or anything. At least I hope. More like people deciding to boycott their businesses and social repercussions, things like that.
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From what you write it sounds like you're already doing more than most people. Whether that's enough for you is for you alone to decide. Just let me quote something that's helped me tremendeously:
It's not your job to unfuck the entire world.
You cannot possibly fix every problem. Not least because "problem" is very subjective and not everything that you perceive as a problem even wants to be fixed.
You'll never convince a group of peple to stop being misogynistic, homophobic or otherwise bigoted or just backwards. That's a losing battle. But maybe you can get a few people to question their beliefs? It's up to you to decide whether that's good enough for you or whether you give up and move somewhere more tolerant.
Either way, I for one salute you for doing what you do and fighting for what you believe is right.4Thanks! Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in thinking you need to fix everything and easy to forget that small things can be impactful.
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