Ken M on love-making

For the love of God can't we just make sex work legal, take the shame out of it, and STOP associating it with massage? PLEASE?!?

I've been a massage therapist for almost 20 years now and have got the point where the sex jokes hit with about the same impact as asking the cashier if something is free if the item doesn't scan at the register. I work in hospice, and not 3 weeks ago I had a patient's brother in law giggle and ask me if I gave his sister in law a happy ending. My inside voice said "no, sorry, she's still breathing so she has to keep dealing with you" while my outside voice pretended not to hear the comment.

Not that it's that common I'm sure, but my university girlfriend's best friend could think herself to orgasm. She inspired me to try it, and I've come (haha!) pretty close over the years, but never quite there. Might be because I'm a guy. It's certainly not going to happen in my current middle-age.

Here we have proof that ten years ago Facebook was still comedy heaven.

The Man, The Myth, The Legend…Ken M.

My sister was drying out some mushrooms and it made the whole apartment smell like cum, which made me horny AF and almost bring me to orgasm just smelling it for so long.

Does that make me a... Fungi? 🤔

Or, according to Dune author Frank Herbert, from watching a man climb a mountain. (See Heretics of Dune)

Lmao I was flabbergasted until I realized it was Ken M

According to reliable pictures I've seen online, a lot of women can achieve orgasm through salad alone.

We are all able to achieve sexual climax on this BLESSED day!

Ken M strikes me as the type who should never be left unattended in any room that has a vacuum cleaner in it.

So, uh, what article is this? Asking for a friend

Everyone loves a little horsey surprise

Usually just flip on some Murder She Wrote when I need to get my Dick in the mood. Been married 43 years come November.

Woah, can we get a tag for this or something!? I started to read the ribald words and almost got the vapors!

Every girl knows what KEN's problem is...

Orgasm without physical touch:

Partner1: Hey I bought you a new toy I think you'll like.

Partner2: Ohhh this looks, interesting.

Partner1: Mind if i watch?

....I mean I guess its possible but if that's your only trick I doubt you'll last long in a relationship. Physical touch is absolutely necessary in most situations; with exceptions to all rules and all that.

But then again even the above scenario involves physical touch, just not from you.. 😅 so really Ken is still the loser here.