The best argument for altruism

To clarify, I think it's when you help other people without expectation of reward.

A libertarian cop would happily save your life from an angry grizzly bear if you paid them for the cost of bullets used, services rendered, and the bear disposal fee.

Every time you help another person, a demon jabs Milton Friedman with a pitchfork.

I hate to nitpick but technically libertarians (especially small l, but even big L, which are different, and you used small l), are fine with helping people and mutual aid and altruism. What they have problems with is that being compulsory. They think that if you want to go help say the homeless or single mothers or animals or whatever your prerogative is, you should willingly donate your money to the cause if you have the money to spare and the will to share, but you should not be able to use the government to point a gun at some other guy to force him donate to your pet cause (i.e their view of taxes.)

I mean, there are certainly things to be said about that as well, some people believe helping others should be compulsory for example, and some things become a lot harder to organize without taxes, but it's helpful to at least understand the actual argument of your opponent and argue against it coherently instead of pushing strawmen that make it seem as if you don't entirely grasp their argument. A better example would be "any time taxes help someone a libertarian dies" for instance in this case.

i guess i gotta help people now. and that's doubly altruistic because of all the children I'm going to save indirectly.

It’s such a convoluted philosophy it’s impossible to even say what it is because it means ten different things for ten different countries. In my country they are weird amalgamation of monarchists, conservatives and ultra-capitalist catholics but in Russia they like fight for lgbt rights.

OK this one startled an actual Eda Krabappel-style "Ha!" out of me, thank you

I don't get why people are so afraid of Libertarians when it comes to social philosophies. Leave me alone, I'll leave you alone. You want me to do something I don't want to do, pay me. Weird how Libertarians get criticized for that when literally everyone has had that mindset with one thing or another in their life

Libertarians help people. They just want to do it consciously by their own volition.