Real Alpha Men™ drink their Vanilla Ice cream shake from a metal bucket while shirtless and listening to death metal
Real Alpha Men™ drink their Vanilla Ice cream shake from a metal bucket while shirtless and listening to death metal
"Drinking a milkshake with a straw? Only a squishy lib would do such a thing."
More about Strawgate: https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/columnist/2024/09/05/tim-walz-milkshake-masculinity-jesse-watters-straw-fox-news/75089097007/
Then why did they cry so much about plastic straws going away?
1ReplyI had the read the article before it was clear this was satire because the line between that and reality doesn’t seem to exist anymore.
79ReplyThe little addition below the title made it clear it was satire. But unfortunately the title could have gone either way.
14ReplyI'm a alpha omega man level 2 super Saiyan get to my level.
4Reply
Thank you, I came to the comments just to have that cleared up.. Jfc
11Reply
Alpha males don't drink a milkshake with a straw, they give it their whole mouth, open up their throat and don't forget to work the balls.
57ReplyReal men boof their milkshakes
17ReplyAnd then cry about it while retelling the story to Kamala Harris at a Senate confirmation hearing…
Yeah, you forgot, but Kamala Harris made Brett Kavanaugh cry about drinking beer in his ass, lol
edit: the goodness
34Reply
This also the way they drink bubble tea, poke an opening, then work the hole with their tongue to get the pearls out.
3Reply
Would you say they're grasping at straws now?
50ReplyTwo straws in fact. At about face level in what one might call a jerking motion....
17ReplyI could take all this wokeness up to here, but this was the straw that broke the camel’s back
13ReplyThe whole thing is a straw man supported by the spoon lobby
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7ReplyWeird, right?
5Reply
Don't bring death metal into this. Those bros are more likely listening to pop country
26ReplyThey probably also think that Five Finger Death Punch is death metal.
12ReplyNo, it's accurate. They role play being hardcore when they're at the gym. It's when they get back in their truck their fantasy self image role play turns to good ol boy when the pop country comes on. Or sometimes 90's country because, in their mind, all country after that is part of that change they hate so much.
Then when they get home, they role play being a big leader man all in charge as they boss around their little children and make them say "yes sir"
5ReplyNot death metal, but... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddrFt1BHkUQ
2Reply
Milk comes from female animals. Real men drink bull semen shakes.
25Reply 4Reply
They've got nothing on this guy!! They're literally grasping at straws
13ReplyI'm guessing this is satire judging by the line "If the massive sugar rush causes your pancreas to explode, all the better. Real men enjoy exploding organs."
9ReplyThe article is satire about Jesse Waters' real criticism of Walz using a straw
13ReplyAhh, Yes concerts were so great.
1Reply
Dumping a bucket of ice cream on my face with some loud music playing sounds fun tbh
10ReplyAnd don't forget to fire your AR-15 in the air while doing it.
8ReplyWell, shit, my water bottle for the gym has a lid with a straw attached to it.
6ReplyCheck your genitalia because conservatives have labeled you.
6ReplyI've definitely seen some of the bigger dudes with the same type of bottle. Who wants to tell them?
2Reply
I get my role model queues from Fox news. My medical advice? From a game of operation.
5Replywhere do you get your fashion advice
3ReplyRudy Giuliani
5Reply7-11
1Reply
Hey, leave Death Metal alone. The tough guys are in the Deathcore scene dancing in their hardcore pits.
5ReplyAren't all the tough guys more like in the pits of gatekeeping hell, regardless of subgenre?
1ReplyHonestly the gatekeepers are more the super basementy neckbeards.
1Reply
What, he hasn't ever worn a tan suit?
If this is the best they can dig up against him, he must be a pretty awesome guy!
4ReplyReal men drink poison!
3ReplyWhen did USA Today become so based?
1Reply