I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can't take up too much space. What food do I pack?
Please don't ask why I need this.
It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.
It has to be something I can easily find.
EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:
I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.
I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.
I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.
I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).
Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.
If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.
Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.
I was worried that lemmy wouldn't reach the pinnacle of quality to match reddit, and then this post came along to soothe those fears. Good luck on your no poop quest.
enjoy your sex trip and I wish you happy bottoming! if you're not going to be doing too much physical labor during this time I recommend going full bottom mode: the week ahead of it start eating very lightly, initially a high fiber diet with added psyllium husk or metamucil. your body might be different but mine would say no dairy during this time. for the day before or even two, switch to a meatless and somewhat low fiber diet - ramen noodles is a classic, cookies, soup, other carbs. before you leave for the trip, clean out with an enema bulb (or store bought enemas if your ass is bougie or inexperienced). the combination of low fiber and low food throughput should keep you from having to poop and whatever poop is still in your tract will get largely removed by the enema.
while you're out at your fuck-tent, consume most of your calories from simple carbs as much as your body will handle so as to give your microbiome less to work with - applesauce is kinda nice, fruit snacks, white bread. eat like a twink!
remember to stay hydrated!! I know you're not trying to pee either but it's important to hydrate even if it means suffering whatever penalty your dom is giving you when you ask to be let out to pee
So you are going to wear some kind of pants that you can’t take off easily for 3 days. Maybe some kind of medieval armor, or a fursuit.
Gatorade has tons of calories because of the sugar, and it will leave nothing to poop out. It will give you the critical electrolytes (plants crave them) that you’re missing from food. Take a multivitamin too.
But it doesn’t have enough calories, and you need stuff to go in your stomach so you don’t suffer being empty on your temporary Gatorade diet. eat white bread. Your body metabolizes almost all of it, so there’s almost nothing to poop out.
You will need to poop out all your poop before doing this, so good hydration and veggies beforehand will clean you out. No need for laxatives, just switch to your new and stupid diet 36 hours before you need to stop pooping.
Good luck on your medieval battle reënactment or orgy.
Participating in a competitive event where bathroom breaks are minimal or non-existent, such as a long-distance, multi-day gaming or eSports tournament.
Attending a religious or spiritual retreat where fasting or avoiding certain bodily functions is part of the practices or rituals.
Engaging in a survival challenge or a bet where the person has to limit food intake and avoid defecating for a certain period of time.
Undergoing a specific medical procedure or test that requires limiting food intake and avoiding bowel movements for a few days.
Participating in a scientific experiment or study where they have to control their diet and bowel movements.
Partaking in a performance art piece or protest where he's limiting his bodily functions as part of the statement.
Attending an event (like a music festival or convention) where bathroom facilities are notoriously unclean or inconvenient, and they want to avoid using them as much as possible.
Embarking on a long journey where bathroom facilities may not be readily available or convenient, such as a cross-country road trip or sailing expedition.
Participating in a reality TV show or film production where bathroom breaks are limited or inconvenient.
Engaging in a personal challenge or self-imposed discipline practice related to endurance or minimalism.
This thread is going to haunt me. One day, years from now while lying in bed and slowly drifting off to sleep, I'll suddenly sit bolt upright and exclaim, "Why couldn't that dude poop!?"
NASA has a paper on how to not poop for days. It's on the Internet. Before space toilets there was only a space bag with finger scissor/scoop holes. It didn't work, poop got everywhere. The paper goes into detail about fecal matter being everywhere after early multi-day missions.
So they figured it out. Their system works -- I've also had my own reasons.
Pooping happens when the body needs to eliminate undigested waste. Almost everything that is edible has some amount of indigestible material, but some has far less than others.
The other important factor is the stimulation of bile release. This usually happens in the presence of bitter foods: dark leafy greens, pickles and other fermented foods, ect. Fats are also known to stimulate bile release. Biles primary function actually is to break down fatty acids. Even if youve eaten mostly bio-available nutrients, if your gallbladder gets stimulated you could end up on the toilet anyway.
So if your goal is to avoid pooping for several days, your ideal diet will avoid fibrous and bitter fruits and vegetables, and avoid fatty foods.
If it were me, I would eat lean meats (chicken or venison), possibly dried into jerky, and simple fruits, or juiced vegetables and fruits. The less food you eat generally, the more you'll avoid building up waste in your intestines.
Just a heads-up: if your succeed in your goal and don't poop for several days, your first poop after can possibly be, erm, explosive. Your gallbladder will likely continue accumulating bile during your poop-fast, and the first thing you eat that stimulates it's release may flood your small intestines. So plan your first meal carefully!
I think water fasting would do you the best. There was this guy in 1965 who fasted for over a year eating nothing but some vitamins prescribed by the doctors and drinking water coffe and tea https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angus_Barbieri's_fast
It's a real thing, pilots of U2 spy planes that needed to fly for ~18 hours straight without any possibility of pooping, needed to be on a special diet for a few days before a mission.
What exactly it consisted of I don't know, but this is the internet, so I'm sure it can be found. I suspect mainly beef. Maybe jerky?
I was here witnessing lemmy history being made and I will probably die of curiosity if we do not get an update.
I do not have any tips. I just hope that you come back safe and sound.
Without context. This is such a hilarious situation, it's like, when a sitcom character whos role is to be the goof of the bunch, asks his friends this question and he's serious and frantic.
This post is truly glorious, this should be the founding exhibit of the museum of Lemmy.
I am truly grateful to witness this moment.
In case OP is still with us, my advice would be anti diarrhoea medication, consume minimum liquids, avoid fibre, pack MREs which are often formulated to be a bit constipating. But above all, question why on earth you would be doing this in the first place!
Sherlock emerges from the shadows of his contemplation, his penetrating gaze alight with a glimmer of the mind's razor-edged acuity, dancing over the hushed assembly.
"Ah, a conundrum indeed! But the game is afoot, my good fellows. Let us untangle this web of mystery step by step."
He begins to pace, his long fingers steepled in front of him, his sharp gaze distant.
"Firstly, we must examine the peculiar constraints Mizu has imposed upon himself. He wishes to abstain from the natural act of defecation for three days, intending to consume food that occupies minimal space, while also reducing perspiration. He will stay in a well-equipped tent, with access to adequate sanitation should the need arise, yet he insists he will resist such necessity."
He stops, turning sharply on his heel to face the crowd, the dramatic swish of his coat filling the silence.
"Despite these restrictions, Mizu explicitly denies embarking on a hiking trip or attempting to smuggle contraband. Yet he is engaged in a journey of some kind, returning to his place of origin before embarking on the same route again."
He taps his forehead lightly, his gaze thoughtful.
"The desire to limit perspiration indicates a need to control body odor and moisture - potentially to avoid detection or discomfort. The same logic may apply to his endeavor to restrict bowel movement. This points to a need to stay confined in a small, potentially shared, space for extended periods."
He turns away, pacing once more as he traces the threads of the narrative.
"His choice of diet - minimal and compact - suggests a limited ability to dispose of waste. This, coupled with the significant investment in a large, air-conditioned tent, speaks of a measure of affluence, yet a necessity to live in a manner that does not align with this status."
He spins around, eyes gleaming with realization.
"Consider the pattern of his journey. It is repeated, yet with a sojourn at his original location - a pause that allows for the resumption of normal bodily function."
He points at the crowd, his voice ringing out with certainty.
"Mizu, my dear audience, is not embarking on a mere trip. He is engaging in a performance, a role that demands these unusual conditions. But what performance could that be? Think, ladies and gentlemen, of an endeavor that requires one to remain in a compact, enclosed space for days, sharing it perhaps with others, yet intermittently returning to a home base."
His voice drops to a hush, his eyes intense.
"A role that demands a significant investment in a temporary abode but necessitates confinement in close quarters. A role where control of bodily functions and odors becomes vital. And what is that role, you ask?"
He raises his arms, his voice echoing dramatically in the silence.
"Mizu, ladies and gentlemen, is partaking in a competitive reality television show or a similar endeavor. A program that demands participants to live in close proximity, often in limited spaces like a train compartment or a shared tent. This necessitates careful control over body functions to minimize discomfort. The mid-journey return to his origin represents a break in the filming schedule, allowing him to revert to his normal physiological routines before starting the second leg of the journey."
He sweeps his arm out, his eyes twinkling with a triumphant gleam.
"There you have it, my dear fellows. A peculiar request, indeed, but quite understandable under the unforgiving lens of reality television. Not as mundane as a hiking trip, not as nefarious as smuggling, but every bit as demanding."
If I had to guess, given the timing of this, he's probably on the Hajj. Around this time 1.5 million Muslims make a pilgrimage to fulfill one of the main tenants of the religion, to make a once in a lifetime pilgrimage to Makkah. This is tied to Eid that's coming in a few days.
Where I suspect this ties in is, one of the steps in this journey is to stay in Mina, which is basically a tent city outside of Makkah. The bathroom facilities are lacking at best, specially if you are used to clean western style sitting toilets. It's not uncommon for people to walk back to their hotels and take care of business and walk back to their tents. Depending on where the hotel is and where your tent is, this could be a half hour to an hour walk. Let's just say if someone is very particular about the throne and is situated far from the hotel, fasting and going without food to reduce poop frequency seems like a very attractive option.
In my experience, the bathrooms for the American and Canadian tents weren't too bad to use in a pinch. And I was blessed that my hotel was only a 15 mins walk, so my wife and I would walk over every morning, take a nice shower and freshen up and walk back (there is a recommended time requirement on how much of each day you can spend outside the boundary of the city). The food there was too tempting for me to go with the no poop route this brave soul is embarking on. (For context, they would have fresh squeezed juices, lamb and rice dishes as big as small cars, teas, coffees, and the sweets were amazing.... And it was all free!).
Steak and eggs, it's what astronauts use to not shit for days. your body absorbs most of the material rather than excreting it. your looking for anything "low residue".
Alright. I'm giving you this advice because I've done it on a camping trip but it was only a single night. I usually go once or twice a day. I just didn't want to deal with digging a hole and it was only a single night in my case. I just took some anti diarrhea medicine to constipate myself lol. I don't remember how much, maybe even less than a whole dose.
Please read the labels and follow the instructions, it might not necessarily be safe over three days. Also imagine getting stopped up so bad that you have to go to the doctor about it then having to explain this. Just be careful. You're not saying why you refuse to go so only you can judge if it is worth it.
That said, I know someone who claims to only poop once a week and they claim their doctor said that was "within normal parameters" so who knows. But I have also heard stories of people having to go to the doctor and get an enema because they're so constipated.
lol this is hilarious, and I also hope you're okay, OP!
Now, some say this is the first Lemmy meme. I'm not sure that's the case, for what it's worth. However, it does feel exciting to see a meta moment like this! So absurd! 😂
I love that this is the flagship viral post for the new popular Lemmy. At this point, OP's reason for not pooping is tertiary to the entertainment! Also, I'm pretty sure it's just social anxiety.
I have fasted for three straight days on many occasions and it was pretty easy for me. Drinking zero-calorie beverages (coffee, tea, water) should be fine. This is not professional medical advice and definitely do not do this if you are an alcoholic, diabetic, or pregnant. Once you break the fast, do so with moderation.
I think this is for some sort of fanfic or roleplay, so:
Military food. If you want something old fashioned but not so bland like the european bread take a look at what paraguayan soldiers used during the three aliances war.
You are either camping with other people or are in some kind of military activity. You don't want to poop because you are embarrassed of how it smells and the people you were with on a previous occasion gave you an extremely hard time over it. Did I guess right? Please, poop in a hole or something, whatever it takes
My guess: Airsoft or paintball MilSim (Military-Simulation) operation. OP is a sniper. There is an ambush. Long-shot: re-enactment of The killing of Osama Bin Laden. OP's crush is there. OP's butthole is sore, so they want a few days of no toilets to allow their bottom to heal.
There are many people in long term care homes who survive only on nutritional drinks.
Keep in mind that you'll need to put your plan into action a few days in advance because you'll still have food working its way through your system a day or two after your last solid meal.
You're putting so much effort to avoid pooping... but you should put the same effort into making sure that once this whole thing is over, there's a toilet you can sit on for a few hours without being interrupted. If I was you, I'd choose one in advance and call there for a reservation.
This sounds like you're on the hajj and don't want to use the crappy bathrooms and wait till you're in the hotel to poop. I would say drink lots of water, have some nuts and dates, drink some of the juices, stay away from rice and meat dishes. Enjoy the experience while you're there!
Ok i avoided replying to this for long enough. Based on your requirements, I'm making the following recommendations:
Nutrient-rich meal replacement bars: These bars are designed to provide a balanced mix of macronutrients (carbohydrates, protein, and fat) and essential vitamins and minerals. They are often fortified to meet nutritional needs, making them a convenient and space-saving option. However, they should not be relied upon as the sole source of nutrition for an extended period of time.
Dried fruits and nuts: Dried fruits are a concentrated source of natural sugars, fiber, and some essential nutrients. They provide energy and can help satisfy hunger. Nuts, on the other hand, are a good source of healthy fats, protein, and fiber. They offer satiety and provide a range of beneficial nutrients.
Jerky: Jerky, typically made from lean meats, is a good source of protein and can provide energy. It is compact, lightweight, and doesn't require refrigeration. Be mindful of the sodium content.
Meal replacement shakes: These shakes are formulated to provide a balance of macronutrients and essential micronutrients. They often contain protein, carbohydrates, healthy fats, and a blend of vitamins and minerals. They are easy to consume and require minimal preparation.
Energy gels: Energy gels are designed to provide quick energy in the form of simple carbohydrates. They are often used by athletes during intense physical activities. While they offer a rapid energy boost, they do not provide substantial nutrients beyond carbohydrates.
I have the solution because I too have been in this exact situation, but you can't eat much or you'll be extremely uncomfortable.
The day before you go, drink a full bottle of magnesium citrate. This will cause liquid diarrhea and completely empty you out. This is used before Colonoscopies to give the doctor a clear view.
Then for the next 3 days eat very little while taking 3 immodium each day.
A small bottle of olive oil. It's very high calorie so it will keep you somewhat energized in small quantities. Consumed in small amounts you may be able to go three days without shitting.
Use anti diarrhea medication, for example Loperamide, it's available in every normal pharmacy (found it in France and Germany, no idea where you are). It will basically numb all your muscles in your gut and it will become impossible to poop.
For three days that should be fine, but you should reduce your food volume a bit.
This is unhealthy and stupid!!! But it works and is not crazy dangerous for your body.
P.S.:I guess you should just overcome your social fears and poop like a normal person.
I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can’t take up too much space. What food do I pack?
Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.