Skip Navigation

Programmer Humor @lemmy.ml

Albin Jose @kerala.party

2y ago

Behind The Scenes

46 comments

That's not accurate, the image is missing sleeps between each print.
- What about the random matrix style character stream in the background?
  
  heard of cmatrix?
- The character is just an amazingly good hacker. They operate at speeds us mere mortals can't comprehend /s

import time … … time.sleep(5) … time.sleep(5) … time.sleep(5) … time.sleep(5)
- I was going to say it was missing the sleeps every other line.
- Blocking code gets your peepee slapped.
  
  Mono.just("Penetrating system") .doOnNext(System.out::println) .delayElement(Duration.ofSeconds(1)) .flatMapMany(() -> Flux.just("20%", "40%", "60%", "80%", "100%")) .map("Hacking NASA %s"::format) .doOnNext(System.out::println) .delayElement(Duration.ofSeconds(1)) .subscribe();
  Better?

Fake, true hackers use one print function using \n

Nah, the last line should say
I'm in
- Last bits are: "Would you like to see files on"
  "1. Secret moon base"
  "2. Captured alien space craft"
  "3. ELE asteroid headed for earth"

undefined

target = input("Enter target to hack:") print(f'--Hacking {target}--') print('initiating ~~anal penetration~~ backdoor entry') for progress in range(0,100,20): print(f'Hacking {target}: {progress}%') print(f'{target} hacked successfully')
- undefined
  
  from random import uniform from time import sleep target = input("Enter target to hack:") print(f'--Hacking {target}--') print('initiating ~~anal penetration~~ backdoor entry') for progress in range(0,100,20): print(f'Hacking {target}: {progress}%') sleep(uniform(1,3)) print(f'{target} hacked successfully')
- You called progress instead of print function at the end.
  
  We'll fix it in post-production
  
  aw man
  
  print("HACK FAILED LOSER")
- undefined
  
  print('initiating ~~anal penetration~~ backdoor entry')
  Are we hacking or shooting a gay porn? I'm fine either way, I just need to know which basement I get in.
- Ahh a man of culture, I see.
  …Wait. Do we do that here?

Also: what's up with the fake browsers? How difficult us it to setup a local webserver, setup a hosts entry and use a real browser to open the webpage? Or open a static webpage via file:// protocol. I find it more effort to "program" a fake browser with complete interface....
- There are trademarks and usage requirements to consider, easier to make a fake one with no branding.
- Never mind fake browsers, fake OSes. When do you see Windows or macOS or Linux on anything in movies. They always replace the OS with some super futuristic cyber system.
  
  Unless it's 'True Lies', in which case the terrorists are running Windows 3.1.
  
  Which it’s why I like Mr Robot

There should be a few sleep() there to make it more realistic
- "Realistic"

Not even a progress bar smh
- progress bars: too fake for hollywood
  
  They just don't know how to code this properly. To look real, it should go quickly to 95%, stall there for some minutes, go back to 91.7% and then take ages to 99.9%

 undefined

        import hack

 undefined

        apt install hollywood

NASA: oh no, someone got into the mainframe!!
- Rabbit? Flu shot? Someone talk to me!

But it doesn't explain double keyboard hacking.

Oooooh. It’s IN the computer.

Mandatory NCIS hacking video https://piped.video/watch?v=kl6rsi7BEtk

cmatrix

46 comments