6mo ago

32 actually

111 comments

Yeah, I fucking wish I was only 30.
- Is there anything you wish you did when you were 30?
  
  Buy bitcoin.
- I’d be one ugly 30 year old if I were 30

My former doctor: "Ya. You probably have ADHD but you're fine. You've learned to cope with it."
Me: Drinking half a bottle of Jim Beam every night to "cope".
Side note: nice seeing you around again Stamets. The meme quality was suffering in your absence.
- Heard that before. "Learned to cope" does not mean "Is coping healthily" you asshats.
  And thanks buddy <3
- Narrator: they were not fine

50
- Me too. Son's dyslexic and I'm noticing a lot of ADHD traits in him. And it all reminds me a lot of how I was and it just explains a lot of the things in my life. Just got to get around to finding a therapist for him and me...
- Erm, embarrassingly older.
  
  Nah, I think this is a no embarrassment zone. Get cozy.

The best part is being 53 and still totally believing it every single day. I'm going to absolutely crush tomorrow!!!
- Haha. High five (10 times and then high three). 1971 babies unite! (...tomorrow).
- I'm gonna do my meditation via the monroe institute tapes.... starting..... uhhh.... in five minutes
- I think this every single day when my alarm wakes me for Gym.

Like when you set some important object down in a random spot and genuinely believe you'll remember where it is when you need it again, in spite of this never working ever.
edit: for reference, seconds after posting this I looked to the left and noticed the lovely piece of pie I brought in here with my tea about a half hour ago. I've almost finished my tea.
- If I had a nickel for every time I’ve gone looking in a closet for something to work on project #7 and found the missing piece to project #4 I put right there to remember…I would promptly lose the change jar for a year or so
- Bought an insulated mug for my tea this year, game changer.

So, uh, serious question. Is it not like this for everyone?
- Apparently some people can just...get stuff done somehow?
- You are young and life is long
  And there is time to kill today
  And then one day you find
  Ten years have got behind you
  No one told you when to run
  You missed the starting gun
- That's the thing about ADHD memes, they tend to resonate with a lot of people who are apparently not ADHD.
  I'm not an expert and others here will explain this better than me.
  If this behaviour is an indicator of ADHD, then the severity could be arranged along a spectrum. Someone with ADHD is more likely to exhibit the behaviour in an excessive and harmful way.
- Apparently not. I am just learning this myself. Go see a doctor (assuming you are in a location that doesn't treat healthcare like it's pay to win).
- Nope, most people can't imagine struggling to motivate yourself
  
  It's not even a question of motivation. Every ADHD person I know is highly motivated. It's the ability to act on that motivation that's impaired.
  
  I'm not sure that's true.

yep, but ADHD is not a disability. Right? Everyone is sometimes unorganized or slacks around for a day...
/s just to be extra sure.

Shit
Mid-40s like most everyone else here apparently

lol 30. Hitting 41 and still don’t get it. But 42 will show me the meaning of life and everything.
- Incorrect. I just hit 43, and there's no meaning of life, the universe, or anything.
  The cake is a lie.
- Though I do get the joke, the meaning of life is what you make of it. If you expect it to reveal itself to you at one point, you'll be disappointed.
  
  The meaning of life is what you make of it, if you are able. Pretty big caveat.

I work a job where I deal with a lot of deadlines. I've never missed one, but my priority schedule works on a FAFO basis. We FA until it comes to being almost time to FO, and we really don't want to FO.
So then I tear ass through my tasks until I've done two weeks worth of work in an afternoon lol
- Just keep forcing every task through your adrenal glands, I'm sure that's a useful long term strategy
  ... he says as he does the exact same thing
  
  That's how I pack for trips. My wife thinks lists are the way to go. I keep telling her if she just waits until the last minute I'll do it all myself in record time. Probably get everything, too.
  
  I used to do tasks out of spite. I hated myself so I forced myself to do things to spite myself. So if you're looking for a change in unhealthy coping stratagies then theres that.

There’s a part I need to install in my car. The box has been sitting right next to the front door for two weeks…I’ll knock it out over the weekend I promise
(Narrator: He will in fact most likely watch hockey and drink beer on the couch)
- This feels personal because I'm literally in the exact situation. Lmao
  
  Me too, except I think it's been about a year now and the box slid off the back of my desk.

Then you get medicated and you realise that even when you do things shit still takes time to do.
- Yeah. Adderall gives me the drive, but not the motivation. Video games still usually win over chores.
- Yeah the spreadsheet audit I was supposed to have done by January 1st has not gotten much more interesting

I got a referral to get screened, but they never submitted the referral. I followed up about 8 months later at my annual physical, because that's kind of how this works. My doc asked if I went, I said I never got a call from them, and she said I should have called sooner and not wait so long, which is mildly infuriating given the nature of the condition I think I have. After my apt, they sent off a referral and told me I could expect a call within a few days. It never came, so I messaged my physicians office a couple of weeks later and they gave me the number of the center to call and follow up on the referral, which is now months later and not done. I know I just have to make a call, but it feels damn near like the hardest thing I need to do. I'm also heavily considering changing physicians. The first slip up is infuriating, but whatever, it's easier to stay than switch doctors. However, the response I received telling me to follow up on the referral that the doctor's office submitted feels like someone who didn't want to deal with me.
Anyway... 35 here and it gets worse each year, so I really do need to follow up and at least see if it's something I can get meds for, or if I'm just screwed up and need to just "cope" until I die. The alcohol consumption will probably ensure that I'm not old and decrepit, so I've got that going for me.
- I mean, that's really shit. I got the GP screening October '22, referral hit the mental health team November '22, I called February '23 to see where I was on the list and how long I could expect to wait. Was told I was around 750 in line, and to expect a wait of 7.5-8 years. I called November '23, I was around 735 and definitely 8 years at least, but there's a streamline coming for the past 6 years that could make it a few months wait tops. Called November '24....730. I was only remembering to call after the first time because they'd send a letter around when they enrolled me to the wait list every year and ask if my brain had got better on it's own, or I had managed to afford private treatment and if they could take me off the list.
  
  Wow. So after my initial discussion with my physician, I was told it could be a few months. I have a sister that in the past year or two also got a referral and is now getting care for ADHD. If someone told me I'd be on a list for even a year before a screening, I'd write it off as just something that's not going to happen. I can't imagine a doctor telling me something would take 7+ years, and then having that more or less validated. My dude, you've got my sympathy, and I hope things are functioning ok for you and you get the help your looking for. I shouldn't take my situation for granted and just get it done.
- It really helps me to make calendar entries with loud notifications if I really need to do something. Maybe that could help you as well :)
  
  It's less about remembering, which is kind of a short term problem, and more about just doing it. I know it will be painless and probably take less than 10 minutes, but I just can't get to doing it. I'm hoping this post and the conversations inspire me to do that on Friday.
  As far as calendars, I try to use one, and if there is a link for appt that I can click that will add an item, I do, but it's like the phone call. Using a calendar is just something I can't get myself to do no matter I much I know I can and should.
- Hey, it's not necessarily shit to change primary doctors! Most places have biographies and patient reviews you can look at. I have similar issues to manage, and seeing people with my same issue give feedback in reviews was so helpful. I ended up finding a provider I'm very comfortable with, and he listens to me. Every visit. I
  t's so possible! Please let me know if I can help. You've got this. It's just a temporary setback, and you'll joke about it later.

Just found out I'm autistic. Pretty sure I'm ADHD too...
- Welcome to the jungle baby!
  
  Do you provide fun and/or games?

This one hits hard...

I'm autistic, so it's not a one-for-one; but some similarities to ADHD, and what's worked for me, is exercise.
Walk 10000 steps a day and go to the gym 3 days a week and lift as heavy as you can.
Use the GZCLP program and you're golden.
Plus, you get healthier AND you'll look better naked.
- yeah ill get to that tomorrow thanks
- +1 for GZCLP. Of all the beginner programs out there, this one resonates best with everyone I've introduced it to.
  
  Got a link?

That's similar to my experience with getting diagnosed in my early 30s (after forgetting about a childhood diagnosis with no treatment). Missing from the statement is the profound impact to self-esteem from being incapable of doing things that one should be readily capable of and being told that one needs to "apply themselves", as well as the emotional self-harm from judging oneself by neurotypical standards.
Also, good seeing you posting again, Stamets. Hope things are going well.
- I was diagnosed at the same age and identify with everything you said.
  The most demoralizing thing is feeling worthless when society bases the justification for your existence on how well you impress in a "competitive job market", judged by sociopaths against neurotypical standards. Expected to be the most charming person ever while maintaining machine-like consistency.
  No amount of self "it's okay buddy you're just different"s change material reality. And it's infuriating. :(
  
  I wish I had some magical advice on that but, good therapy (with skills and experience with adult ADHD and trauma), radical acceptance, medication, and developing positive coping skills is what I've got. Still easy to fall into negativity.
  A good learning that I had from my therapist is that, regardless of level of success in coping that one attains, going through childhood and early adulthood without support for ADHD and/or other neurodivergence is psychologically traumatic. And that trauma needs to heal. Unfortunately, just like grief, the scars are permanent but, we can get better and let the parts of us that get overshadowed by the trauma and maladaptive coping strategies get some time in the limelight (easier said than done).

Fuck don't say this, I'm 30

Diagnosed at 42....

true, but also -- 46

Going to die alone and worthless

90 actually.
- Guess you're pretty confident to get that done this year. Right? 😁

Suddenly realize as a 24 year old i might be really young for lemmy. Every one is above 30s lol
Edit: and most seem to be ADHD, questioning what am i doing here.
- 25
  
  25 also
- Being ADHD and getting closer to our age
- I enjoy Lemmy because there's always interesting comments to read. I bet it wouldn't be the case if we were all the same age. And... that's why I think I fit in here for the most part: because many lemmings are like me and enjoy this small but engaged community.

This one hurts.
Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow. The bane of every project, started or not.

37 actually

43 but we are getting my son tested he’s 11 there were signs even when he was very young. I feel a little guilty we didn’t do it earlier.
- You're doing it now. That's enough. 👊

Imagine going untreated even a decade after that

Even when diagnosed with medicine, I sometimes struggle to remember to eat it.

I'm 30..and even medicated it's hell

34! I was hoping one day I'd figure out what to do in life and through that knowledge everything would just click into place and things would feel good and right and worth doing. Turns out the answer to life's great mystery is amphetamine.
- But damn does pharmaceutical smack make life worth living or what. If only I hadn't spent nearly 30 years digging myself into a hole before I started it.
  
  Word.

I've just accepted that that's never going to be something I can do and that existence is pointless and miserable and I'm not capable of doing anything more than killing time till I die