how does my "neighbor" hear my private telephone conversations.
how does my "neighbor" hear my private telephone conversations.
This is completely strange, and very long. I've exhausted all my ideas, and need fresh ones.
Some background.
- my neighbor is old, very very old. Also, they are not very mobile. So something like creeping up to the window and listening in is out of the question. Although, a very long time ago (decades) they did used to hang out near an air condition vent, listening to our in person conversations.
- when I say neighbor, I mean they live in a small house connected by a breezeway to my house. I do admit they are rather close. Yes I do have access to thier house.
- i have no real idea of thier level of technological expertise. They are pretty manipulative so even though I'm under the impression they're very limited on expertise, it's possible they know more than they let on. Let's just say at this point, they say they have difficulties placing calls to thier saved contacts on thier jitterbug flip phone, but when your not looking they're already on the line with someone, like five seconds after you walked out the door. As far as we know they do not have access to the internet, but who knows. They do know how to navigate to at least a limited number of websites though. (Slight fear of them seeing this post, haha)
- they digest far right media. This in itself doesnt seem relavent, but I suppose, in my head, this might be able to give them awareness of the types of technology that one might use to pull something like this off.
- It is remotely possible that someone could have installed something inside the house maybe about 15-20 years ago, and given the neighbor access to it.
- they are on a limited income, and are not independently wealthy. Any technology would have to be no only easy to use, but on the less expensive side as well.
So... Maybe about once a year for the past few years a topic or phrase that was talked about over the phone would come up in conversation the next day. Not a big deal, written off as coincidence. That's just how it goes sometimes. Well now, we've had a falling out. For the past few weeks they have brought up many private conversations I have had over my cell phone with at least 2 different people. They repeat not just what I say, but what the person on the other end of the phone says as well. I say, "Man, im pretty sure they're hearing my phone calls." The other person says, "Maybe there's a bug somewhere." The next day they start to prattle on about...a bug on the wall. But not a real bug...oh what do you call those things...you know, bugs that know things. Or I say "I'm worried about this escalating." The other person jokingly says "Oh, don't eat or drink anything from them, unless they take some first.. They may try to kill you." The next day neighbor is handing me a concoction they've made. "Oh, I've just sat down with this mixture I've created for my health. Everything I put in it is sitting on the counter there. (Cue various herbal supplements / tinctures) here have the first sip... it's not going to kill you." They are bringing up / creating situations centered around private converstaions from the night before. They may skip a day or two here and there, but it's a pretty regular occurrence.
Something worth mentioning, is that while im on the phone call, I will turn on my Bluetooth and use my earbuds. Everytime the buds connect, the call drops, and we have to call each other back. I figured I was pushing a button wrong or something and hanging up. But since the neighbor has gone somewhere, we have not been able to replicate the situation.
Things we have tried but have since been disproven:
- At first we thought we were leaving windows open and they could just hear it...but all windows were closed.
- maybe they can hear through the walls somehow, they are thin. But its never been a thing before. (why would they have to hang out by aforementioned vent, then) We blast the radio real loud and see how much we can hear from neighbors porch. Can't make out exact words and doesn't explain hearing the other person.
- well thier radio automatically connects to iPhones ( un-updated iphone from the air drop debacle/ f-ed up feature of the radio involving nfc and bluetooth) and it did pair with my phone at some point. Maybe they can the other person over thier radio. But we tried to make it work and just cant replicate it.
- we've checked obvious places for a walke talkie looking receiver. Nothing.
- we've used one of those cheap bug detectors off Amazon and checked the house...and the vent. No wires comming out of strange places as far as we can tell.
I'm at my wits end. What could they be using and how can I stop it? It maybe all a coincidence, but then its as much so as Facebook / Google targeted ads that arent listening your conversations. I mean, what, are they an advanced algorithm that can guess what your thinking based on all available data on you?
Help! And thank you for taking the time. Also, sorry about the format / spelling getting all this out on mobile is tough.
TL:DR. My really old neighbor seems to hear my both sides of cell calls to at least 2 different people. Is there simple, rather cheap technology put there that they could be using. And how do i go about finding it / making it stop.
I’m certainly no expert, and maybe there’s a reason no one else has suggested this, but I think we need to consider if this is a paranoid delusion. Maybe speak to a doctor?
53Like others have said I think you should seriously consider checking your mental health with a psychiatrist.
I'm sorry if it's not the case, but you shouldn't risk it if it is, I've seen cases like this and it's really sad to witness. It only goes downhill from there if left untreated..
48My guesses, in this order:
- Confirmation bias
- Carbon monoxide or mental health issues on your side (I'm being serious, don't rule it out).
- Some low tech way (you're speaking very loudly, you somehow managed to broadcast to their Bluetooth speaker)
With a strong likelihood of it being 1, slightly less 2, unlikely 3 or anything else.
38I'm gonna go with #2 very high likely chance. Also, they didn't mentione what they think that, and I wouldn't be surprised if the other person tells your neighbor about the conversations. Meaning you think your conversations are one to one, but maybe the other party shares with your neighbor.
14
I know this sounds obvious, and it’s an old meme from Reddit, but you REALLY need to check your home for carbon monoxide.
25Don't push this off, OP. Check this first. Immediately.
8Lmao that's exactly what I was thinking of while reading this.
7Wasn't that later revealed to be a hoax? It was during one of the major waves of legal advice trolls
3Maybe. maybe this one is computer-generated as well. CO poisoning can make a person loopy though.
-7
You can troubleshoot this through the process of elimination.
- Don't make any calls from home for a day or two. That'll tell you if it's something localized to your home/location or if it's specific to your phone/contract.
- Disable all extra technology like Bluetooth. That'll tell you if it's a Bluetooth or other connection. Ideally, turn off all extra connections beyond cellular. You could also try voice/video calls vs. phone data - I doubt this would matter, but it's always the last thing that you check.
- Break your house into a few different zones. If they comment on a conversation held it in one part of the home but not another, that'll give you an idea if it's location specific.
Probably not the most helpful tip, but how about taking this opportunity to learn another language?
20Lol, do all of their friends and family need to take up the same language? Could you imagine everyone just takes up Vietnamese just because of this neighbor.
4I enjoy how y'all thought of switching to Esperanto before reaching for an encrypted messenger with VoIP support, like whatever.
1I was actually thinking Esperanto, but Vietnamese would be interesting, too. :D
1
I like this tactic. Will try when the neighbor gets back.
I've definitely have disconnect all the bluetooth devices, but i did reconnect my hands free set. Your right though, I shouldn't use it for a few days.
I never imagined it could be the phone itself. I mean I looked for apps but I guess stuff like that doesn't just show up in the app drawer all the time.
If nothing else I'll find out if there's anywhere that's safe
4
On modern smart phones ther are some accessibility settings for hearing aid connection that iirc connects automatically to hearing aids that support the feature. It's not always using Bluetooth. The non Bluetooth variants are pretty low range I think but Bluetooth is also used for the same features. Go to you phone settings and see if you accidentally enabled something like "hearing enhance" "hearing aid enhance" etc.
14They may have some srt of hearing aid. Also, nothing you posted proves they heard your call, it could simply be coincidence.
13Permanently Deleted
3
My father had a really similar thing happen to him. First it was his stepmother and sisters, then my mother’s family, then the neighbor down the street with a wiener dog all spying on him constantly.
Turns out that they were getting directly into his brain from all the cocaine he was snorting.
12Damn that's wild. Brain worms hidden in cocaine. They're getting crafty
2
It could much simpler than all the Bluetooth answers here. Do you just talk really loudly on the phone? I can only hear my neighbour when she’s talking on the phone, but not directly to her husband.
10Possibly they have a directional microphone. This may seem like high-tech, but it's been around forever, predating cellphones. So someone could have bought it from Radio Shack and learned to use it when they were younger. So if you're talking loudly, and they have a microphone, they can pick it up. Any idea of their former career?
I don't buy the CO idea. CO is more likely to cause headaches, nausea, and skin flushing. And everyone in the house would be showing symptoms too.
8You mentioned a Bluetooth issue. Do they have a hearing aid that may be your phone is broadcasting to via Bluetooth by mistake?
8There's an eldery, far right, technologically incapable guy at my office that takes any sleight as a person attack and tries to set "revenge" because he's also a rage addict.
He also has the Bluetooth hearing aid, and I can see that being something that gets shilled for on alt right news station/podcasts.
With OP saying they use Bluetooth and calls drop when trying when the neighbor is home....
That's probably what it is.
A cheap Bluetooth "hearing aid" that OP somehow accidentally authorized on their phone
13This is interesting because while they do have ear / hearing issues, they've never gotten hearing aids from a doctor, but it doesn't mean they never ordered them from some catalog, or whatever.
Like just because ive never seen them doesnt mean they dont exist. They maybe too proud to have them in while people are around, but might use them to watch TV or listen to the media.
I'll definitely check into this. Thank you.
7You do seem yourself to know awfully lot about this geezer, so this does not sit very well with me. Like, if you are doing counterintelligence on him you should come clean about it.
1Do you have an iPhone or Android?
1
If the neighbor is doing this intentionally, I’m pretty sure it violates some pretty serious wiretapping laws.
5Not an iPhone user, but I'd assume there's a way to view Bluetooth connections. In Android you just long press the Bluetooth icon in the system shade (where you set airplane mode and toggle WiFi etc.)
4Same on iOS. Or just go to Settings >Bluetooth.
3
The neighbor probably snuck onto her phone and added their hearing aid or a pair of headphones or something to the Bluetooth paired devices, the call probably drops because the neighbor hangs up on her from their device whenever OP tries to use her headphones, or the call drops from the phone being bad at switching Bluetooth devices from the neighbor's device to uers.
2
Disable bluetooth on your phone, have a call and see if they react to it. If they do react, you can rule out bluetooth snitching on you.
6You didn't specify what phone technology you use. If the signal leaves the house in an old fashioned way, crosstalk could be the cause. I'm nearly sure this is impossible for digital communication (cellphone, voice over IP). It might be an explanation if you and your neighbor still use copper cable phones.
6I use an iPhone thats i got in 2022, on carrier signal, over regular voice calls, not wifi call or anything like that.
I'll use a pair of true wireless jbl earbuds. I admit, I never really stopped to test if it only happens when connect to the earbuds or not.
Both houses do have landlines, but I haven't used the landline for any of these conversations. It's pretty much only used to field telemarketers or for things like the ac repair guy and the church people.
2
I think I would jump to the Bluetooth being the culprit, especially how you say it drops out
5This was the thought, but only that radio would be paired.
The radio in my house actually does broadcast the voice of the person on the other end of the phone. But when we tried it on their radio it didn't work the same.
Hmm, but after no imput for a while, the radio shut off, and the call dropped.
You know you maybe on to something. I'll look into that.
Thanks!
2
Do they have a hearing aid, or one of those hearing enhancers?
That would be my guess. Cheap Bluetooth devices are creepy, I have a $2 pair of ear pods from Ali and it somehow automatically connected to my wife's iPhone the other night and I was able to pause and even change the music she was sleeping to. That all happened by accident (she was not happy), so I totally could see that happening.
4Go by elimination, the first thing I would do is reset the phone and don't pair it to any bluetooth device. Also change the WiFi password and the router admin password with strong randomly generated passwords.
Then keep going as usual and see if something changes.
When you said you used a bug detector, was it a radio frequency analizer? Did you check while doing a phone call, a bug that is not transmitting wouldn't be detected.
Do the people you talk with or someone living with them know your neighbour? Maybe the leak is on the other end.
If the houses share an air conditioning system maybe try closing off the vents.
I know you are sure of your experiences but have you checked your physical and mental health? A few mental conditions could make coincidences turn into paranoia, but even a few simple physical conditions like carbon monoxide poisoning and maybe even vitamin deficiency could loosen your grip on reality . Has someone else witnessed first hand these events?
4So, it's the neighbors mental condition that's taken the dive. They left to get help. It is indeed possible some of thier crazy rubbed off on me, but it really is eerie. They did actually state a couple times that theyve heard us talking or laughing or whatever. We blew it off at first cause...yeah, ok. you HEARD us...the second time they said it, we already had our suspicions.
At this point we eliminated what we thought the cause was (that damn radio) since there wasnt anything new for the few days until they left. I'm not opposed to the idea that maybe the last one was actually a coincidence, (which would be a relief) we can't really test out any theories until they get back home, we were just hoping to get rid of the culprit before hand, so as not to cause any further distress.
The detector we used was a rf/gps/infrared scanner. We did not use it during a call, only after. I figured something like that was always transmitting, but why would it be if it wasnt actively being used. This is helpful. Thank you.
The vents are not actually connected. The vent leads to an area outside that is easily accessible by people, and is mostly out of sight unless you go out of your way. But we've been looking at that area since it was a problem before.
The other people I talk to are my support system. One has limited contact with the neighbor and the other really has next to no contact at all, so im positive they're not leaking any information to them. The person with limited contact has also been witness to this. They live away from the property.
Thank you for the ideas, I learned something new today.
4
What about regular conversations when you are having people over? If it’s not tech/bluetooth related they must be able to hear that too and it must seem to them like a phone call (just 2 people talking)
2They don't hear anything with regular conversation, unless we're outside on the porch.
2
Sorry if this posted a million times jerboa said network error but turn off your bluetooth. Some hearing aids connect via Bluetooth.
2I really don't mean to be a grammar Nazi, but the amount of times you misspelled "their" is crazy. Check to make sure your auto-correct is good. There's no way it should have allowed "thier".
2Yeah, I know...
I before e except after c...
It's definitely a chronic problem I have. Since I changed phones a while back, it gives me suggestions but I have to manually select them. Typically, it underlines the misspelled words but in these apps, it just doesnt.
And as many times as i spelled "thier" here, it all just went to shit.
I will double check my settings.
Sorry about that. :\
2I before e except after c…
FYI that's an awful "rule" and as far as I know isn't taught anymore because, again, it's terrible. There's more exceptions to it than follow it. Such as "their".
I've seen an expanded version that includes "or when sounding like 'a' like in 'neighbour' and 'weigh'," but that's still far from perfect. For example, leisure doesn't fit either of those. Deceive has it come after a c, doesn't sound like an 'a', and the i still comes after the e. Forfeit is another, and of all the words I've used so far, it produces yet a new sound with the same vowel conbo.
English is just a really whacky language because of its history and influences.
0
Here we go again, Reddit habits die hard I guess. Suggesting to someone that their auto-correct is messing up becomes a cause for downvotes.
What if that was on their resume and they didn't catch it?
You guys have nothing but hate in your hearts.
-1English is already fucked up. I think we should just vote for "there" to be the unified spelling and have it be up to the reader to interpret
3My brother in Christ, decouple your self-worth from imaginary internet points
1The only "reddit" thing here is whining about downvotes. Everything else you've said has been fine and seems like it was well-received...
But I'm not in-charge here, so what you want!
0
Anecdotal: my neighbors entryway is recessed, and as so happens to be like 20 meters away from a window on the second floor of my house. There's a ton of vegetation between us, but even if people are whispering there - I can hear it like they are right next to me. Especially when they are screaming at their kids to "be quiet"🫠.
It's possible that your neighbor found some spot where sound from your house travels to. Do you normally take phone calls in a specific area of the house? Vs where you usually have guests over?2I've heard this story so many times from people abusing stimulants, meth in particular. I've lost friends and family to it. Every single time it was the result of meth use. Sorry if this is not the case but it's never not been meth in my experience.
1It bugs me (no pun intended) how people in such cases readily suggest some kind of poisoning, intoxication, or mental meltdown. Hinting to numerous other comments in the thread. So, a word to all armchair psychiatrists out there, I have it on good authority that real psychiatrists first rule out whether the situation is real, then move on to delusional and paranoia explanations. Otherwise it would be very easy to conspire against a family member, poison them or get them locked up, and enjoy their fortune or sth. So it is a meme at this point, so joke is on me for responding seriously but at some point it has to be debunked. You have to rule out that the situation is not real before reach for the mental illness explanations.
1I also don't know why this 1 year old post popped into my feed, but anyway, as others report, I am curious about this "case". Is there any resolution @FarFarAway@lemmy.world ?
2Iol, I have no idea why this popped up on your feed either.
So, no. No resolution. We've never found anything, in or around, that could remotely be used in this manner. We could never replicate it.
I do understand where your coming from. I do, also, understand where everyone else was coming from as well. It seemed pretty wild, even to us. I admit, I was slightly suprised at the mental illness suggestions, but not totally taken aback. I expected people to think more along the lines of what you've brought up. That I'm trying to use a device like this, on someone else. Which I wasn't and I'm not. Nobody really stood to benefit from this. There was no large sum of money, we all got along for many years, and we were always on relatively good terms. It was just thier mental decline that made them act in ways we really never expected.
Some type of conformation bias may possibly be the closest reason, second to it just really happening, and we did consider that, but it just got way to specific way to many times. Hell, at the beginning of the whole mess, they made some off handed comment that they were "a little psychic," lol, So who knows. We really thought it was the radio, but like I said, we couldn't replicate it. I just thought I would try my luck and see if anyone might have had some answers.
I will add that, a friend did get me some CO2 detectors. Mostly cause they noticed there werent any fire detectors either. They haven't gone off yet, so...
This person was really close to us for a really long time. I may have changed some "names" for privacy reasons, but the situations and conversations are truly the way it all played out. In the end, they never came back and everything was left in limbo. We never got another change to recreate the situation and we never got any answers. I do admit, we haven't made a huge super thorough sweep of the place. We figured that anything being used that frequently would be easy enough to find. The place has just been left, mostly as is, just like everything else that came out of this crazy situation. I wish there was something more final to offer, but there just is not. Maybe one day, when we finally get brave enough to clean it out, proper, and we'll stumble across something. But until then, its just one of life's mysteries, I guess.
1
Please OP keep us updated, I’m invested in this story now!
1Don't use Bluetooth for a while and see what changes. Turn it off, tell your partner on the phone that you lost your earbuds and see if the neighbor offers you theirs.
1How about talking about some major crimes until the police gets involved. In this case your neighbor himself may call the cops and tell them he is listening to your calls…
1Bluetooth doesn't make much sense, as you usually only have one device active. But you can easily rule this out: If you have Android for example, long press the Bluetooth button, then check paired devices. Is there any device you don't recognize? Remove it. Done.
Bluetooth is usually encrypted, so if you didn't accidentally pair your device with your neighbor's there is no way they can listen in.
And even more important: Check for carbon monoxide in your home. You might be having health issues and are hallucinating or making things up.
Besides that: It might be possible your neighbor hears you talking on the phone (through the walls for example or with a bug in your home), but there is absolutely no way they'd hear the other side of the conversation. So either your side alone would already give them all the information or something else is up (see above).
1Confirmation bias?
0Kinda Sounds like they got ahold of a stingray device. Probably a pretty weak one, but it would explain everything. Bluetooth is also radio so having that connection active could be causing some interference in a weaker consumer level stingray device. Also, get a CO2 detector.
0Why CO2? Your body is a natural CO2 (carbon dioxide) detector. Go huff on a newly opened soda bottle and you'll see what I mean. I think you want people to get a CO (carbon monoxide) detector since humans can't detect CO.
6Carbon monoxide/CO2 combo detector
4Can you explain what the CO2 detector is for?
0To check for a gas leak. Carbon monoxide poisoning can cause hallucinations. There is a famous post on reddit of someone complaining that their neighbors break into their home and leave post it notes all over the place. Turns out there was a gas leak and the poster was leaving the notes themselves and then forgot about it.
4It mainly detects CO2.
1
Maybe plant a bug at the neighbors house
0Lol right. They live alone. They're not discussing its with anyone else, as far as we know. Im not sure who they would even talk to if they had the chance. They're kind of a shut in.
I do suppose, if there's a device, and it makes a sound when they turn it on. Other than that i fear all I would hear is shuffling, really loud music, and whomever has replaced Rush Limbaugh on the radio.
0It might still even out the playing field. Then you can offhand mention some song lyrics or radio talk show lines
1
I’m going to agree with everyone else, and say check Bluetooth connection and yeah maybe even carbon monoxide BUT you say the house and their place are connected by a breezeway. It’s entirely possible that they can just hear you talking. Sound travels in really odd ways sometimes, and people talk louder than they think. Is there another room, on the opposite end of the house, that you can make calls from, to see if it helps?
0Can you explain the carbon monoxide thing? Like how could it cause this?
1
Does your neighbor use a hearing aid? It wouldn't surprise me. These devices can connect to Bluetooth. I would take the advice already posted about resetting the Bluetooth connections to your phone.
0I too was about to suggest the neighbor has Bluetooth hearing aids. A family member has Bluetooth hearing aids and you can never tell they have them.
1
Have a phone call about how you're going to kill your nosey neighbour if he listens to your phone calls again
-1
