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  • For the people who don't want to squint at a weird format image:

    • Communism: You have two cows. The state takes both and gives you some milk
    • Fascism: You have two cows. The state takes both and sells you some milk (someone here has a very benign definition of fascism)
    • Socialism: You have two cows. You give one to your neighbor who had none.
    • Bureaucratism: You have two cows. The state takes both, kills one, milks the other and then throws the milk away.
    • Tradition Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one to buy a bull. Your herd multiplies and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the profit.
    • Venture Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother in law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option to buy one more.
    • French Corporation: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want two.
    • Italian Corporation: You have two cows. You don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch
    • Swiss Corporation: You have 500 cows. None of them belong to you. You just charge for storing them.
    • American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one and force the other to produce milk like 4 cows. You hire an independent consultant to determine why the cow died.
    • Indian Company: You have 2 cows. You worship them.
    • Irish Company: You have 2 cows. One of them is a horse.
    • Australian Company: You have 2 cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
    • Iraqi Company. You have no cows. Noone believes you. The US bombs the crap out of you and invades your country. You still have no cows but at least you have a democracy now.
    • British Company: You have 2 cows. Both are mad.
    • Greek Company: You have 2 cows borrowed from French and German banks. You eath both. The banks call to collect their milk but you cannot deliver. The IMF loans you 2 cows. You eat both. The banks and the IMF call to collect their milk. You're out getting a haircut.
    • Chinese Company: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment and max bovine productivity. You arrest the journalist who reported the real situation.
21 comments