Elon Musk’s Brain Implant Startup Is Ready to Start Surgery
Elon Musk’s Brain Implant Startup Is Ready to Start Surgery
Neuralink has FDA clearance to start messing with people’s heads—and not just figuratively.
After what happened to all those monkeys I still can't believe he got permission to move to human trials. You'd have to be stupid or insane to volunteer for this.
106Musk has perfected the self selection of morons, I'm sure they'll have plenty of test subjects to toy with
46I don't know... I feel brains are in short supply around Musk.
4
He just have the entire army to experiment with haha
2He has lots of people obsessed with him who do believe anything he says.
2
Anyone getting this shit will die just like every single fucking monkey test subject. If they don’t die, their suffering will be unbearable
https://www.wired.com/story/elon-musk-pcrm-neuralink-monkey-deaths/
Go on Elon, show us how it’s done and take the first one
94This is some Josef Mengele shit. He better be held accountable after this inevitable shit show.
30Wow, thank you for linking that article, I hadn’t read it yet. That’s absolutely horrible, and it doesn’t surprise me that Elon has orchestrated something so cruel in the name of progress.
7In the name of money*
7
https://www.wired.com/story/elon-musk-pcrm-neuralink-monkey-deaths/
UC Davis veterinary records cited by the Physicians Committee—which WIRED also obtained through a subsequent California public records request—chronicle a battery of complications that developed following procedures involving electrodes being surgically implanted into monkeys’ brains. The complications include bloody diarrhea, partial paralysis, and cerebral edema, a condition colloquially known as “brain swelling.”
Additional veterinary reports show the condition of a female monkey called “Animal 15” during the months leading up to her death in March 2019. Days after her implant surgery, she began to press her head against the floor for no apparent reason; a symptom of pain or infection, the records say. Staff observed that though she was uncomfortable, picking and pulling at her implant until it bled, she would often lie at the foot of her cage and spend time holding hands with her roommate.
Yeah. I think I'll pass.
74That last line man. Wow.
Poor girl was in serious distress.
38I think whomever it was at the FDA that approved this shit for human trials needs to be investigated. It reeks of corruption.
28
This really might be the one that gets him. It’s one thing when self driving doesn’t quite work right or when that tunnel project gets abandoned. If they install these things and people get seriously hurt (I know cars can hurt people) it’s going to be a shit storm.
71Virgin Bill Gates: "The covid vaccine doesn't contain any microchips....I-I promise!"
Chad Elon Musk: "I will literally microchip your brain"
29He doesn't care. His followers will defend him and tell you that he is god send and he is the smartest guy of mankind.
21I feel like this isn’t a fanboy situation. If he actually goes through will this and people get fucked up the hammer will fall hard and fast.
3
Rather appropriately, allowing Elon Musk's crew to operate on your brain is proof that you do indeed need brain surgery.
69I'm never getting one. If it ever gets to the point where I have to get a brain implant as a condition for a employment, and all the jobs are like that then I guess I'll just be homeless.
49Mark of the beast aside, alterations to the mind like this are insulting God in Christianity and Islam.
I'm not getting this or any other chips.
The real problem will be when employees simply can't be competitive without it and not having it will relegate them to jobs for severely disabled people.
-61Are glasses an affront to your god? What about braces? Cochlear implants? How about ventilators? Synthetic insulin? Should I keep going or did you get the point?
Fuck Elon Musk and the inevitable shit show that's going to happen during the human trials, but it's got nothing to do with any god.
34No. Just no. The problem isn't anything having to do with religion. I absolutely do not subscribe to the notion that we shouldn't improve technology just because "it makes humans too godlike" or some shit.
Governments and corporations already abuse the fuck out of smartphone "privacy" as it is. No way in hell I'm giving these authoritarian bastards a direct link to my brain.
22
There are few companies products I want in my body less than from anything that Musk is involved in.
40The fact he hasn't had one installed himself shows he has no confidence in his product. Please don't go on twitter and tell him he shouldn't sell products he refuses to use.
36So Elon is the first one to get one, right? What do you mean, he doesn't want one?
29Uhhh after you Elon
26He already had it implanted. That's why he is so fucked up.
16
Yeah bruh fuck everything about this.
26What do you mean? You see no potential for anything good coming from this at all? I certainly see some things to fuck about this (including the asshole payroll ING the project) but not "Everything"
-14I see a select few medical devices benefiting from this, which they would have eventually gotten to anyways without musk and his extremely poor research methods.
I’m never getting anything like this. Doubly so if it’s developed by big tech. The possible benefits don’t even get close to outweighing the negatives
1
I can't wait to get X advertising streamed directly into my dreams.
25But I use Wayland.
34NICE
but still: etc/gdm3/custom.conf WaylandEnable=false
3Har har har! Whew. That one's a lil rough :P
2
I'm sure there's tons of Muskrat fans who'd love one but unfortunately they don't have brains.
24Let’s test it on the Elongate Muskrat first
16Musk should be the first.
15Can't wait for them to start beaming ads directly into our brains
15Yeah that happens in the 2009 movie Hardwired. That's not a future I want to be part of tbh.
1I already get Lighspeed briefs ads in my dreams.
1
No paywall: https://archive.is/yN8gL
That is a fascinating read, I had no idea how far multiple companies have already gotten on neural impulse translations and practical implementation.
11Thanks, this Com is just awful about paywalls
3use 12ft ladder to remove paywall
1
Let him be the first patient.
10Sounds like a great idea, and I’m sure it will work just as well as Tesla FSD. Cost a lot of money and get people killed.
https://www.wired.com/story/elon-musk-pcrm-neuralink-monkey-deaths/
Just wait until TwittX is a mandatory app on the link, lol.
10Is it, though?
9I know there was a lot of ableist bigotry involved and it was problematic for even more reasons but...
Them mofos are paying for darwin awards.
7The US FDA is a captured organization. This operation won't even pass a research level ethics commitee.
7My pop-corn is ready, any time now ^^
7Uhhhhhhhhhh
5Already got one installed? Zombie plague? Janeway drank all' your coffee this morning? Hmmmm 🤔
1
There’s so much we don’t know about the brain, I can’t see implants being anywhere close to a success until the brain is significantly better understood
4To be fair there are brain implants in use already but at a really simple stage (epileptic treatments, at least they did exist in like the eighties).
8
After watching the Tell-Tale Heart episode of the recent The Fall of the House of Usher show by the guy who also did Midnight Mass… I’m convinced Musk’s guys are about as “ready” to do this on humans as the Usher company was “ready” to start installing the artificial heart pump thingies.
3Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
The Fall of the House of Usher
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.
3i wonder why piehole blocks the piped links...
1
The Poe references were a little ham-fisted at times, but I enjoyed the series quite a bit. It's like Succession but horror.
3
I can’t believe we’re doing Brain Chips and not Robot Arms or Gundam smh what a dumb nerd
2I hope this is the beginning of The Fall of the House of
UsherMusk.1Remember the billboards in space guy? How did that guy get shitcanned and this guy is here with this fucking thing?
1Who need implants if we have telephaty? Someone said fascist elite?
1This is some of the coolest tech thats currently within our grasp. It will not only completely cure a lot of ailments but lead to fdvr.
Id burn alive a million monkeys if it lets some 5 year suddenly walk. Id burn double that if I can get some isekai catgirl harem going on.
We literally torture animals just to make sure makeup is safe, get mad about that. This is some serious sci fi shit that will open an insane amount of door, regardless of who is behind it. Pick you battles.
People that mindlessly hate on something just because Musk is involved are as brain dead as the ones that constantly praise him without thought.
-25You’re welcome to volunteer to be the first patient, I mean experiment
And those practices of testing on animals are inhumane and are being phased out.
Edit: Oh, and we all hate it not (just) because it’s musk, but also because it’s had next to no success in animal trials and offers no benefits other than data tracking inside our heads
20How else are we going to test brain to computer interfaces? All animal testing is inhuman but some of it is necessary to advance. Like I said, go complain about animal testing for vanity products instead of society altering tech. But you won't, because you don't give a fuck about the animals, you only care about the musk circle jerk.
-10