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Lemmy Shitpost @lemmy.world

no banana @lemmy.world

7d ago

Avocado

158 comments

Um excuse me?
I eat avocado and clean penis all the time and have never found them to be anywhere remotely close to the same flavor.
I'd eat more avocado if that was true.
- We’re trying to promote hygiene here
  
  Well they don't taste like dirty penis either.
- It's probably just a joke to piss off conservatives. If correct, it works be a worthy cause.
  
  Is conservatives into avocado? I was led to believe woke millennials who suffer from bad financial decisions eat avocado toast.
  
  Did you know light beer tastes like cum?
- I eat avocado and clean penis all the time and have never found them to be anywhere remotely close to the same flavor.
  I showed this meme to my wife, she agrees with you
  
  Her boyfriend's penis must be clean.
- Have you ever microwaved a brick of Brie for crackers....smells...pungent. Reminiscent of post-coitus, LoL, great for date night

Does this mean I have never tasted a clean penis?
- I wouldn't know, I've never tasted an avocado

mmm cockamole
- Goes great on your faceadilla.
  
  With crema
- Well done. And welcome to Lemmy.
  
  Thank you
- I think you should consult a dermatologist.
- You are an asset to the team. Welcome.
- I hate you, take my up vote.

I just asked my wife and she made the face. This is apparently, correct 😂😬😂
- Thank you for answering the big questions for us all.
- Don't trust her.
  Only one way to know the truth.
  🍆
- I asked my wife if she wanted breakfast in bed... she did not like what was in her toast.

that looks like the ancient mouse that uses ball for cursor movement.
- Cursed ball mouse that tastes like clean penis
  
  cleanpenis.fart
- That's the first thing that came to mind when I saw this. Those mice were a pain. I had to take the ball out from the socket and get rid of dust and debris so many times so it would work normally
  
  It was so disgusting digging all the gunk out with a toothpick, cotton swabs, and alcohol.
  Optical mice were such a huge improvement everyone I knew (except the weird trackball guy) switched as soon as they became available and never looked back.
- It's vintage, thank you
- They first tried using avocado pits, but those are a little too uneven, so they went with cooked egg yolks instead.

Some people here have never sucked a dick and it shows
- some of us were just too young to remember the taste. thankfully
  
  Oof.
  
  Altar boy?
  
  I'm sorry to hear that. I hope it's beautiful and sunny wherever you are and that you're doing well.
- I'd imagine lemmy has among the lowest has-sucked-dick ratios of any potentially mixed-gender community.
  
  Why? We're a bunch of old wannabe rebels (among other) eager to try out new stuff, surely sucking a dick was something easy to try out in our youth, and then lots of us are trans, gay, transbians and so on.
  
  Never been more disappointed in us. 😞
- Your the expert, tell us.
  
  you + are = you're

I've sampled enough to say confidently that this is false.
- Clean penises or avocado?
  
  Inclusive yes.

"Clean penis"? Only after washing with avocado scented body wash.
- The only way to properly clean a penis is with guacamole and some elbow grease.
  
  Also, WD-40 is not a lubricant.

Tasted both, I don’t like avocado, dicks on the other hand….
- So... Avocado in one and a dick in the other...?
- So avocado doesn't taste like clean dingaling?
  Please answer Im about to get some guacamole and I'm insecure in my sexuality.
  
  Just say "no homo" and you're good. Avoid the nut, because that's super gay bro
- Few, I don't like avocados and was worried

Does a clean penis taste different than clean skin??
- Skin on different parts of the body tastes different. It also depends on how it's cooked.
  
  God damn dude.
  
  *closes legs
  
  damn
  
  I think I'd prefer reverse seared penis but idk
  
  Fucking hell
- Why ask when you can find out?
  
  I mean if your willing to donate your penis to me in the name of science then im game 😉😘

AI says what?

Sounds like someone likes to jerk it with avocado oil and didn't tell the researcher
- Does that imply that the researcher tasted his dick?
  
  Probably a research assistant

How do I unsee an image
- The "Phineas Gage Special" is not 100% effective.
- this but in reverse
  
  Goodness me that is unsettling
  
  What's the name of the show? Looks familiar
- Why do you want to unsee it, don't you like avocados?
- Some sort of eye surgery
  
  That doesn't help, it's already in memory.
  Obviously the answer is suicide.

Are they flipping out because that’s ridiculous and false?

The real question; how do you find avocados with small nuts (or seeds) like that?!!
- Look for longer rather than fatter avocado. Fatter has more room for larger nut, but since the nut is round and not oblong, a slimmer longer avocado will have less space wasted on the nut.
  
  Oh god I'm close keep going

Damn, I wish I knew I was bi before I met my wife, because I love avocado.

I mean, sure in the sense they dint really taste like much.

that's untrue
- Sure, but it wouldn't be as funny if it said "doesn't taste like clean penis"
  
  “Scientists discover avocado does not in fact taste like clean penis”
  It would get a few clicks i reckon

I don wanna know what unclean penis taste like
- Omg 🤣
  
  Mouth feels? Or like smell? Or like something else?
- It would be easy to find out, in fact they might pay you to find out!
  
  Who the hell would go through the hassle of buying sex without cleaning ur pp. I mean that just sounds grim at that point.
- Like what it smells like but pissier and salty af. At first. After you slather on it for a while it all just tastes the same because you've cleaned it with your mouth and throat. I do not enjoy unclean penis. It is not fun, it is not hot. Please clean your nasty cocks for the love of god. Hygiene, people, hygiene!
  
  makes sense. and ewww people really needa learn basic hygiene.
- Smells more like rotten wet mushrooms

of course it's a BuzzFeed article
https://www.buzzfeed.com/daniellaemanuel/avocado-tastes-like-clean-penis
- That website is a mangled mess of advertising.

Please don't do a blinded experiment
- Please DO one. Taste only, no biting.
  
  I’d volunteer for that
- wait, so a “glory hole” is a tool for science? TIL!
  
  I imagine that's not the best place to find a sample of clean penises
  
  Just don’t forget to bring your nachos

Never knowingly ate any anyhow so ymmv

Hey, who's been using my avocado scented soap?

It's only fitting considering that avocado means "testicle tree."
- Well, all living beings came from a common primordial ancestor, so it makes sense that some features are shared.

Wat?
Pretty sure my penis is made of skin, and not avocado.
- Oh yeah? And what does skin taste like, if not avocado?
  
  Well, like skin, of course. :V
- How can you know for sure though?
  
  I've handled both avocados and my own penis plenty of times.

Reminds me of fresh cut okra.
- What does?
  
  Pener
- Mazel tov!

158 comments