5d ago

So close!

126 comments

Somehow, without the aid of nuclear devestation, people have managed to reset to Year 0. Just "rediscovering" shit that already existed as if it's new tech. And then try to sell it to people.
It'd almost be funny if it didn't make me so fuckin mad.
- It's just interaction bait.
- What's worse is they all passed history class. Somehow.
- I figured out something absolutely crazy. You can put vegetables into the ground, (you know, the dirty thing outside?) and they will literally just start making more of themselves.
  Also, you know all those naked people outside with too much hair and extra legs instead of arms? They're made of meat!!! It's true!
  
  I have seen variations of the vegetable innvoation in the wild, although you can never tell when things are ironic anymore
- Dibs on dehydrated water!
- Have you noticed more and more people "blank behind the eyes?" I have. Like a real life ai model.
  
  My eyes are pretty dead but I think its just the hope in me that's died from having from watching trump come to power in america.
  
  Oh god no, I don't talk to people in public any more.
  I have repeatedly gotten "oldman yells from porch" angry when seeing a string of "peak"s and "absolute cinema"s in the comments under any form of media which, at best, can only claim it wasn't trying to sell me something. I won't get further into that because it's not productive and probably sounds elitist.

I know it's overused but cliches are cliche for a reason, so I love it when people say "So close!" and then make fun of someone for saying some braindead shit.
Also reminds me of some stupid ad I saw for expensive ass chlorophyll powder packets to put in your water. My sibling in christ, eat a fucking salad with spinach if you want chlorophyll.
- CHLOROPHYLL? more like BORE-OPHYLL!
  
  "That's why I take twice-daily MORE-O-PHYLL from Malt-O-Meal."
  
  This is such a snore-gasm.
- My sibling in Christ
  Lmfao I’m stealing this expression
  
  I'm honored, truly. I try my best 🥹
  Tbh I probably saw someone else say it before and just used it myself.

what did they use before? sewage?
- Probably oil
  
  Yeah my parents have decided oil is the root of all evil and cook everything in water now lol. They love their soggy food.
- Alcohol. They were just boiling it.
- Is that why they call the unmodified thing "raw sewage"? Is it because it's used in cooking?
  
  It's because the bottled sewerage market demands that their product be called "refined sewerage," or sometimes "sparkling sewerage" if carbonated.
  But it can only be called "le fizzy shitz" if it's from the Shitz region of France.

"Stomach is thriving"
They don't even try to form coherent thoughts anymore, just buzzwords to sell your current "brand".
- Just assume this kind of sloppy copy is AI.
  
  The depressing thing is how often it’s not
- The depressing thing is how often it works

This reminds me of when I was doing chi gungs with a YouTube monk, until he started making bizarre claims that I’d never get sick again and my body would magically heal itself. It did not.

That's clearly a stew and not a soup. I will die on this hill.
- It might be a stew when it's done, served as pictured, I'd call it a soup. Sorry bout it
- What's the difference?
  
  Stews are thicker with big chunks and soup is thinner with small chunks

It's not soup if they discard the water after cooking, leaving only the vegetables.
The alternative, btw, would be to fry everything in butter or some plant oil, i believe. That's what they're opposing.
- Making soup and then dumping out the soup seems like a very stupid way to make soup.
  Maybe they feel better from not eating all of those simple, delicious calories.
  
  Have you ever cooked pasta?
  
  It’s like when somebody throws out the white rubbery thing after drinking their mozzarella
  
  It's called "boiling".
- It's not soup if they discard the water after cooking, leaving only the vegetables.
  So... boiled vegetables. That's still already a thing. Not a particularly good thing (to my tastes), but been a thing for a long time.
  
  We are not talking about a specific food here, but about a way to prepare food. It does not matter what you cook - meat, vegetables, whatever. It's about cooking it in water instead of sharp oil-based cooking.
  And no, it is not new at all.
- It's not soup if they discard the water after cooking, leaving only the vegetables.
  Then it's a waste of vitamines.
  
  I mean, I definitely boil things like broccoli or potatoes and drain the water after. Not every meal calls for soup.
- Real men cook in motor oil.
  
  Agreed. I always cover myself in motor oil before I flambé my crêpes suzette!!
  
  During the siege of Leningrad they actually did have to resort to cooking in machine oil, among other awful things. Of course they were almost all women, because the men were fighting the war
  
  https://youtube.com/shorts/NjkyCGljSiI
- Surely there is some third way
  
  I read in popular science that it might be possible to use a variety of different kinds of gases to carry heat, or perhaps some kind of radiant heat or even radio waves to cook food. But sadly this fantastic technology is still just fiction. I hope I get to see a form of cooking that doesn't involve immersing food in hot liquid. I wonder what it would taste like.
  
  no! water or oil only! no grill!

I'm convinced that everyone who starts one of these weird diets and feels better has a random food sensitivity that just happens to get cut out by their diet.
Like, you feel way better on that crazy carnivore diet where you eat only meat, but it's cause you have undiagnosed celiacs and eating only meat happens to cut out all wheat.
- Many people have FODMAP sensitivities and confuse them for gluten.
  
  I've thought that because of my celiac tests coming back marginal and all the other issues I have, but I get wounds on my skin that take months to go away and severe anxiety from gluten which I don't think can be caused be fodmap sensitivity.

I CALL it hot ham water
- Are "steamed hams" considered water-based cooking?
  
  Vapour based.
- So watery! Yet there's a smack of ham to it.

I thought this post was a nod to our ancestors who figured out the power of soup-life.
These mother fuckers getting nutrients from hitherto inedible plants and just chillin as all the others got the runs and fever from eating uncooked game with worms n shit

The ocean is technically a soup
And technically, so are you
- What technicality are we playing on here? Anything that contains water is a soup?
  
  I mean humans are like 80% water so
  
  Also needs vegetables and salt.
  
  We're a collection of soups (see the insides of every cell)

were they just frying everything in bacon grease before?
- Like a good, patriotic 'MERCAN

And now you're water-based pooping.

water based hot salad

vegetables are healthy

If you want to do "water based cooking" for vegetables try steaming instead of boiling.

Okay so now I'm questioning where the line between soup and stew is...
- Viscosity
- Stew is thicker and chunkier. Generally made by slowly braising a big ole hunk of otherwise inediblely tough meat for a long time in some kinda liquid. Soup is generally thinner with little bits of whatever the fuck you have laying around tossed in to a broth or stock.
  Chili is a stew. A bisque or chowder is a soup.
  
  I think it's more that a stew is a kind of soup. Bisque is a kind of soup, chowder is a kind of soup.
  The real question is how many noodles can you eat it with before you have to start calling it a sauce.
  
  Depends on the bisque or chowder.
  I think the best way to describe the difference is just a higher liquid to solid ratio.
  
  How many lentils do you have to put in a lentil soup until it becomes a stew?
  
  Don't forget the chayote; certain gourds are perfect for stewing!

Not even good soup. Real soups use some kind of broth to give a lot of base flavor.
- What do you think a broth is?
  
  My brother in christ, what do you think we use to make the broth?
  
  Well it could be a stock

That kinda looks like sinigang, a Filipino sour soup.
- Where is the seafood?
  
  I tend toward pork spare ribs, though I've done some runs with shrimp.

Potagers hate this one weird trick!

The all-dip diet is where it's at...

It looks like the post was made by a Cambodian. Pov translates to 'young brother/sister' and is commonly used as a term of endearment. So the odd terminology could have been lost in translation. .... and that looks like a typical Cambodian soup.
- It's probably not the real caption. It's likely fake like every other one of the social media memes.

Something tells me it dont taste like soup

Like a “dry brine”. Aka “rub”. Just more salt. A rub with salt.

.... you cook your veg.?
- Got kale? Best cook 'em, cause no way your digestive tract breaking down those cell walls on they own... Just gonna shit out all that untapped iron 'n vitamins
  
  Ya, I don't mess with kale.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyklwLBuAaU

126 comments