How do you protect yourself from emotional harm?
Emotional harm can be hard to name and easy to dismiss. We know when we've been physically hit, but emotional is really different. All sorts of things can cause emotional harm... what can we do to protect ourselves from it?
I protect myself from emotional harm by calling out bullshit right away. I'll give benefit of the doubt, to start, ("hmm? Did you mean it like that?"), but I no longer tolerate people putting me down to make themself feel better/superior.
I'd rather be seen as "rude" than be a doormat or a punching bag.
I'm too valuable for that nonsense. And you are, too. š«µ
For me it was mostly 2 things:
I find ageing has REALLY helped with this. I don't care so much what people think or if I fit in, I'm me and I'm ok with that. I also find nice people always like me cos I'm also nice, so people that dislike me or mistreat me often just aren't nice people at all.
I'm waaaayyy better at spotting bullies and good people nowadays. I stay away from the bad, don't tell them anything and join the good for safety. That really helps.
I've got better techniques for dealing with things, for example "can you explain that joke?" when someone is being nasty.
It's not easy but I'm better at dealing with it!
Yes. Feigning incomprehension of a hateful joke or statement and forcing them to come out and say it is a powerful technique for putting bigots and their ilk on their back feet.
And if you can then deliver a haymaker that's extra-satisfying!
Aging does help! It's pretty freeing to care so little what others think.
I have the opposite problem: I have a hard time letting others get close to me. I'm very emotionally closed-off and as a result most of my friendships have been pretty surface-level. How the heck do you figure out who is safe to be emotionally vulnerable with?
It is hard, I go by my gut instinct and it's generally right nowadays. I don't trust easy though
I tend to ask the people close to me if they'd be interested in joining me for xyz and seeing how they react.
Asking for small favors and trading back and forth is also a good method I know to tell who's more trustworthy and dependable.
Besides that it's hard to share what tricks I know as it's second nature/intuition for me. If I happen to notice them I'll share it hereš¤
Oh that's easy! I just ensure I have no emotions to harm!
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