3w ago

MyGumsAreBleeding

[MyGumsAreBleeding] Superhero

114 comments

Well, there's this one:
- It is interesting that Superman’s archenemy was an incredibly wealthy businessman. That seems to be the exact problem with our world today (there’s just many more of them).
  
  The more you look at the villains in all the TV, movies, and books growing up, the more you realise they're mostly evil capitalists.
  It's weird that Hollywood etc would green light so many movies about how rich people like themselves are evil, and teaching kids to fight against them.
  The rich landlord is going to close the community club hall! The rich businessman is trying to have us killed to cover up his chemical spills! Etc etc.
  If it's not a literal alien from another planet, more often than not the bad guy is just a literal normal capitalist.
  And yet try to use the lessons taught in every piece of media you ever watched as an impressionable child, and you're told that your anticapitalist beliefs are "extremist" and you're dangerous and must be stopped.
  Weird eh?

Environmentalists in comic books are nearly always deranged villains, and the ones that aren't are still weak and naïve.
The only strong environmentalist hero in Western canon is Captain Planet, and he's got sus narc vibes.
- Well, Green Arrow. But you have a point.
  
  ...because he wears green?
- Captain Planet to the rescue!
  
  I'll turn you into a fucking tree!
- Storm and aquaman are pretty pro environmentalist without making it their only identity.
- Poison Ivy is essentially an anti-hero at this point, and she is considered fairly powerful too.

Couldn't he just take all the billionaires and fly them into the sun or smth? I don't know if that alone would fix things, but it's a start. Also literally no downsides.
- His nemesis is literally a billionaire and he never managed to get rid of him.
- We got American Superman. We got Soviet Superman. We need Anarchist Superman.
  
  Captain planet gets close to that
- Batman is a billionaire
  
  Ah yes, In. Public he "Fights" the rich but in the Dark he is awfully chummy with a rich furry.
- I bet you if he just lightly beat up one billionaire a day that the problem would sort itself out pretty quickly.
  
  Imagine being the last billionaire but no one wants to take your money rofffffllll
  
  Lightly?
- That's why he's constantly fighting ~~Jeff bezos~~ Lex Luther l.
- If only Superman were a utilitarian. I'd like to read that ratfic.

We can solve those problems directly or indirectly by tying superman to a dynamo. With free energy even the issues with materials can be solved over time.
- Just have superman round up every billionaire and political leader and drop them off on an deserted island, and the rest of us can start fixing our problems like adults.
  
  Why not drop them into a volcano
- Wasn't there a small parody comic about this?
  
  https://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=2305
- Isn't that just a solar panel with extra steps?
  
  I would say the energy output Superman is capable of implies he's actually a step-up transformer as well as a solar panel. He'd be much more efficient, but of course you only have one Superman.
  Now im curious. I'm just an electrician, not an engineer. How much of the grid could Superman power? Someone figure out his kilowatt-hour figures please 😅
  
  Superman probably doesn't need as much raw materials as a planet-wide supply of solar panels. It seems like copper is currently the biggest issue, and one that isn't easily solved by switching to other renewable energy sources.

Bitch could literally turn back time
- How many rounds around earth til un-inventing plastic?
  
  1 turn = 1 day
  Completely artificial plastic was invented in 1907 - 118 years ago.
  1 year = 365 days
  118 years x 365 days = 43,070 days
  So 43,071 rounds should do it, and then just clonk Leo Baekeland over the head or something.

1930s Superman would've agreed with the crowd.

This just makes me think of Captain Planet. He knew how to solve these sorts of issues. By beating up assholes and making them stop.

There are evil "robots" you can go beat up to solve those issues, yes
- But you said they were robots Rick!!
  They're bureaucrats Morty! I don't respect em.

Nobody understands Superman, especially most of his writers.
Dude is alien Moses created by two Jews during the Holocaust. His arch nemesis is a billionaire/the president. C'mon.
- Kryptonite is pork, basically?
- has there even been a plot line where the system in so corrupt, superman has no choice but to become a villain to safe the world.
  ie he didn't have the "consent" of the us president.
  probably happened when lex was president.
  
  Maybe Emperor Joker?

Didn't Luigi have something to say about that?

That's why Superman is usually more proud of his work as Clark than as Superman.

Isn't superman pro free will
He will protect against threats but if you fuck it up your mostly on your own
- Does superman think humanity chose capitalism? If Superman landed in 1600s Europe, would he think humanity chose feudalism and help put down peasant uprisings? 1700s Haiti, would he help stop slaves from stealing or enacting violence against the French?
  
  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Superman:_Red_Son
  
  When it comes to the economy, capitalism with a heavy dose of regulation is the best option we have right now.
  Attempts at communism have failed miserably and just led to dictatorships.
  Unless you're proposing something better than either of those?
- You're*
  And use punctuation, FFS.
  
  Yes sir Mr Trump sir

Don't forget about fighting people who actually have plans to make the world a better place
Related note, excellent video essay, "Defenders of the Status quo" https://youtu.be/LpitmEnaYeU
- Only watched half of the video (because it's something I'm well aware of), so it might have gone into it, but another angle is that there's often villains that make good points and then suddenly take it in a batshit direction.
  Like Thanos had a point but apparently never understood exponential growth and how reducing all life by any constant factor is just delaying the same result, even if his snap made 99% of people disappear (unless he snaps enough people that the population collapses entirely, which is what he wanted to avoid).
  There's many other examples where reasonable starting points end up in unquestionably evil conclusions. Pretty sure it's just propaganda to make people who don't think much about things link those reasonable beginnings with "evil" in their minds.
  Also there's characters like Bruce Wayne and Tony Stark who are billionaires but their stories always ignore the realities of what must be done in order to become a billionaire (ie underpay staff doing the actual work by billions). In Stark's case, they sidestep that by giving him super advanced AIs and automation robots, though he's still the owner of a large corporation, that he still benefits from despite offloading any of the responsibility of even running it to everyone else.
  
  It's addressed in the video, that these characters are always written to then go over the proverbial line.
  
  They even rewrote Thanos to have those Malthusian ~~under~~tones, originally he just had a bone for Marvel's legally distinct from DC'd genki goth girl personification of death and wanted her to notice him.

Well, he could beat up all the CEOs and politicians...

This is what I like about Wonder Woman. She shows up and is like. "Oh shit! There's a world war going on! Better go stop that." Meanwhile in the present super man is stopping random petty theft.

Yeah, sorry guys, but these sorts of things aren't really Superman's department.
Uh... You could... Hmm... You could try asking Mr. Terrific.
- Bullshit. Superman can totally stop global warming by simply pushing Earth further away from the sun. Similar to how he sent the whole planet back in time by just turning it backwards.
  And I guess he could just beat the fuck outta the ceos of every major corporation, too. It worked against Lex Luthor.
  
  D:
  W-why The fuck would you want that!? He'd literally be effecting the orbit of a whole ass planet, you have no idea the kinds of consequences that'll bring! And it wouldn't even solve the pollution problem!
  Superman isn't supposed to mess with time either. That is the type of shit that gives Lex Luthor's arguments against someone like Superman a point!
  
  I think I remember he once built a giant shield from asteroids to block the sun during a large solar flare. That would be an easier way to cool the earth.
  Also, the earth reversing direction was not what caused time to reverse. Time reversing is what caused the earth to reverse direction (just a movie visual clue).

Youre gonna want Captain Planet

Zuckerberg count?
- First thing I thought of, so it must be right

You are basically describing the arch of Superman's son. And fans hated it.

The Authority actually tackled that.

Do people really write "yeah" as "yea"? Why isn't that pronounced like sea or pea or tea?
- Yay.
- Like the Nazi rapper?
  
  Wow, here we are.

Anyone who makes more than 10x the medium income in their country gets their brain lasered. Solved

Superman has super humor sense, so he'd laugh it away as a really convoluted joke

Isn't the fortress full of advanced tech? Gotta be something there to help.
- The ice it was on melted and it sunk.
  
  LOL

Nope. What you got for limp dick? Can I try chewing on a hair or toenail cutting?

Amazon.... Hold my beer!

*yeah. The word is yeah, not yea or nay. It isn't a vote. Buy a dictionary since you lack an education.
- Oy dumbass, "yeah" is already slang for "yes" that came out in the 1800s. So the word is technically "yes", but "yea" is an optimization of slang.
  I'd say study language better but no amount of money can fix being a dumbass egotistical asshole.
- wtf are you talking about?
- Yea, verily I decree language to be immutable, forsooth.

114 comments