3w ago

Basically

99 comments

Terrible choice of founding fathers to use for that example. Benjamin Franklin was kinky as fuck.
He would be browsing xHamster going, “Seen it.. seen it… seen it… done that… done that, too… seen it… cliche…”
- no he's the perfect choice because he's a horny bastard and having porn at his fingertips would drive him absolutely apeshit
  
  Something tells me he’d be more interested in the farting and scat porn..
  
  It's OK, he'll come out of his gooner cave sooner or later.
- No, that picture was his mind being blown from excitement!
  
  He's saying Ben had orgies with French women. He doesn't want to see other people doing it. He just did it.
- They didn't have any of it directly at their fingertips, though.
- Take another look at that jak friend. That's not the look of shock, it's awe.
- Him and his student, John Paul Jones.
  
  Hell yeah, Zeppelin rules!

Our founding fathers fought back against their government. At the very least they would wonder why people aren't gathering in mobs outside the homes and offices of legislators demanding change.
- why people aren't gathering in mobs
  Well, it happened about a hundred years after your time, but there's this thing called the Gatling gun that got invented that really became a hard counter to angry mobs trying to storm things, and once that stopped being an option they just kinda stopped listening to us
  
  Before that they had archers and keep walls. And after that there have been many successful protests and revolutions which created freer democracies (with varying degrees of success).
- People in LA are certainly doing so! And it's spreading everywhere in the US.
  
  As they should!
- The founding enslavers would be gathering in mobs to reinstate slavery.
  
  Maybe, maybe not. Politicians have always had a finger in the wind on some issues. I think if you gave a decent historical account including things like current crime rates by race and the bombing of Tulsa, and just mention "generational wealth" like they're already familiar with it, and then gave them 24 hours to sit on it, I think they'd all be good with it.
  Consider if someone took you, shoved you 200 years into the future and said, "Eating animals was some fucked up shit. Do you know what happened in Factory Farms? Really? Of course we're all vegetarian.".

"WHO TF GAVE THE (HARD R)S RIGHTS?"
- "Ah, fuck, it was me, wasn't it?"- TJ

Listen. Alexander Hamilton died in 1804 and the current year is 2025. If I died today and found out that in the year 2246 that the laws, mannerisms, dress, economics, attitudes, and technology had changed so little that I "recognised" it, I wouldn't be proud, I would be concerned. My mind would be going "what the fuck why hasn't anything changed". I would expect things to be different, if I noticed that nothing or little had changed technologically, socially, economically or politically, I would suspect there had been a collapse akin to the Bronze Age Collapse that society was only just recovering from.
My Grandmother was born in 1920. She was born two years after women got the vote, Modern Art was in it's heyday, Cinema was still silent, the quickest way you could sent a message to anyone was via Morse Code, and there were people around who were born in the 1830s. She used to have to take a fucking candle up to bed with her like in those Bugs Bunny Cartoons. She lived to see gay marriage in the UK, The Lord of the Rings Trillogy, Video calls, and the Moon Landing.
I expect to see commercial Fusion Power and a moon base by my 90s. If I was told that little changed between now and 2246, my first question would be a terrified "why"?
- I love how you make it sound like the moon landing happened after LOTR.
  
  If you subscribe to the notion that Middle Earth is our world, it did!
  
  It did though? The Lord of the Rings was written in the 1930s and 1940's, the moon landings took place in 1969-1972.
- I'd be concerned that I was brought back to life.
  
  "Welcome back! ReLife Corporation has spared you from the afterlife! Your reconstruction fee is a mere 450,000,000 credits. Please proceed to the Debt Servicers department and then the career fair down the hall!"

I feel like they'd recognize it better now since it's the current administration's prime directive to reverse all progress that's been made since the founding fathers were around.
- The founding enslavers would be mad that trump isn't racist enough, isn't turn back the clock far enough...

Americans and their Founding Daddy issues.
- Why did they leave 😭
- It's really gross and pathetic.
  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Civil_religion
  
  Ask 20 people on the street who advocated for for free press to be added to the constitution. I'd take a guess that maybe 2 of them will get it right, maybe. The other 18 will say either the founding fathers, the states being asked to join, or they don't know.
  It isnt a religion or people would know that Moses did A, Jesus did B, etc. It's just a lack of knowing or remembering details so people just say "founding fathers" as a blanket term to cover the legislatures of the time.
  That doesn't mean people don't believe in freedom of the press, they just believe it was wise of James Madison to ensure it was included in the first amendment. Also I'm sure others can argue he wasn't the only one advocating for it, so a blanket plural works for many.
  I understand how it will come across as "we've always done it that way" which in Judicial branch they call precedent. Should precedent always hold, not at all. For the most part though, we've only had to stray from the core of that writing 17 times since the "completed" constitution was ratified. (Because the first 10 were in the Bill of Rights which were required by the States to ratify it)

"Damn, they're making new kinds of chicks" -- Ben Franklin when he sees trans porn
- "You guys cured smallpox, and there's people who are working against the cure?" - Also Ben Franklin, who lost one of his sons to smallpox
  
  Is it correct to say we "cured" smallpox? A vaccine isn't a cure, but we used that vaccine so effectively that we eradicated the disease. But the overall sentiment of your post holds up.

This exact joke made into a sketch:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20ghjoX2_GE
- I'm so glad someone posted this, WWG is great

George Washington: "They kept on with political parties, didn't they? Told 'em."
Thomas Jefferson: "The Tree of Liberty hasn't been refreshed, I see."

What do you mean? The slaver owners, who genocided the local population to steal their land and didn't consider women or children people wouldn't be happy with Trump's America? Trump's America is their dream, and it won't change until you stop mythologizing genocidal slave owners.
- I feel like that's incredibly reductive and it just kind of bothers me every time I see it. The Constitution was almost not ratified because there was a contingent of founders that opposed slavery. What's important about that is that it completely destroys the moral relativism argument for the rest of them. Founders that supported slavery knew it was wrong and did it anyway cause they were greedy.
  Well, except for Jefferson. His reasons are more rooted in being an incredibly lazy psychopathic rapist who had created a slavery powered life of luxury for himself. But that's going off on a completely different tangent.
  
  Owning slaves is owning slaves. Genociding the natives is genociding the natives.
  If you say you're against slavery, but own slaves, you're not actually against slavery, you're against the bad rep.
  
  I feel like that's incredibly reductive and it just kind of bothers me every time I see it.
  Well, except for Jefferson. His reasons are more rooted in being an incredibly lazy psychopathic rapist
  Lol.
  While there's no shortage of slave related evils to blame him for this is also the man who ended the trans atlantic slave trade.
  Do you not feel this description of his motivations might be a bit reductive?

I wouldn't recognize anything 100 years later either.
- What about a map of 100 years in the future?
  
  At this rate of climate change, the map would be familiar yet unrecognisable
  
  Kids these days barely recognize a paper map.
- 100 year old artifact

I think they would be horrified, but that's because of the maga. And because black people would not take their shit.
Ben Franklin would try modern clothes, start sleeping with trans women, then get addicted to the internet. He would be indistinguishable from someone from the 21st century within a year tops
- He'd be exhausted searching for all the local milfs in his area.
- George Washington could finally get some implants or dentures and stop stealing the teeth from slaves.
- "It's all about the me's, baby!"
- Let's be honest here if anybody from the 1700s slept with a trans woman it was definitely Ben Franklin. Man was a professional horn dog.

"C'mon, Franklin, we're going to New Brunswick."
"What for?"
"For the whoring and the drinking, of course!"
Franklin pops right up, eager to go

What Founding Fathers would have to say.
"Did you not read all 'men' are created equal. That did not include slaves or women."
- That's the point of the original comment tho

Unfortunately, porn is getting banned, so little Ben will not have his happy ending.
- He could just watch Baywatch or something and his mind would have been blown.

There's not much that's more gross than pale skins worshiping enslavers.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Civil_religion

Oh my God, I haven't laughed this hard at a meme in a very long time. Congratulations.

Being submitted by a couple of dead white men is true alpha male behavior.

"Look what they've made of our dream. This bloated, rotting carcass of an empire is driven not by reason and hope but by fear, hate and ignorance."
- Nailed it.
- George Guilliman Washington.
  
  YES but the pic I had was to big to send it sadly

Honestly, they'd be horrified at a bunch of things, some of which are on MAGA, and some on progressives. Maybe we shouldn't be taking the ideas of slaveowners from over 200 years ago as seriously as we do.

Not in the states that block it

gotta get that skullet on him

Madison was super excited to visit the Wolf Lair. He's a fucking nazi.

99 comments