Does anyone else feel like they are male and female equally?
Not fluid, non-binary, or agender. More like a superposition.
Binary, but also neither, and both.
I was AMAB, and presenting as female feels more natural to me, but I feel like a male and female in one body.
what you describe fits being bigender I think
https://lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Bigender
Yeah, that fits pretty well!
I have a bigender partner who identifies and presents more femme online and more masc in real-life.
However you feel about and choose to express yourself is valid.
is the distinction between what you're feeling and non-binary that "non-binary" is like some "third" gender, while what you're feeling is the two genders at once (not something else, but both)?
That pretty much describes it. But I don't see non-binary as a third gender, just absence of a binary. I very much fit into the male/female binary.
interesting! I do think some people might view themselves as "non-binary" while feeling both male and female - it's maybe just a different way to conceptualize it (because being both might be thought of as not just one or the other, hence the "third gender" or alternatively just the falling out of the binary / one or the other kind of thinking when being both).
Either way, thanks for the response - I always like to learn how people think about their gender, it's interesting to me as I struggle to think about my own gender 😅
If you're willing, I wonder what the "feeling male" is like for you.
For example, I don't consider myself bigender or non-binary (maybe I actually am in some technical sense, so I'm open-minded and willing to acknowledge my self-knowledge is limited and subject to revision), but I definitely have what I would characterize as habituated ways of thinking of myself as male, and as I transition and increasingly occupy a female body and social role, I have that kind of "both" experience.
I just tend to not enjoy the "both"ness I feel, I did have a notion even when I was pretty young that I should have been born a girl, and being born a boy was some kind of unfortunate accident 😅 So I tend to think that doesn't fit a non-binary experience - but since I've lived a whole life as a male, it's hard not to have habituated some attachments or ways of thinking of the self as male, and that can then give me feelings that might fit with being non-binary, though I tend to think it's habituation for me rather than non-binary-ness, it's just hard to tell the difference sometimes.
Two-spirit?
I think that's an identity for Native Americans, no? Similar to Brotherboy and Sistergirl here for Indigenous Australians.
Yes, only Native/Indigenous Americans/Turtle Islanders can use it.
Schrödinger's gender
depends on my hormone levels to be honest. I have been dialing in my mono therapy and when my estradiol is low i feel more man thoughts and my appearance to myself feels more manly. 12 hours after my injection and I feel wonderful and soft again and my thoughts are very much feminine.
I'm considering switching to a 5 day injection schedule instead of 7 even though it sounds like a hassle i really don't like the male feelings at all.
I can feel that. When I couldn't get my estrogen refilled I started to feel crappy, and everything was much worse than it really was. I could see that making someone feel dysphoric.