3w ago

Couples with opposing political views face higher risk of separation

www.mpg.de Couples with opposing political views face higher risk of separation

A recent study by researchers at the University of Padua and the Max Planck Institute for Demographic Research (MPIDR) has revealed that political differences between partners can significantly increase the risk of separation. Using long-term data from UK couples, the researchers found that those wi...

Science @mander.xyz

www.mpg.de /24863744/0611-defo-couples-with-opposing-political-views-face-higher-risk-of-separation-154642-x

24 4

107 comments

No shit
- Was my first thought too.
- "She wont fuck me any more because I started sucking Charlie Kirk's cock!"
  
  Ben Shapiro?
- It's good to challenge and confirm common sense scientifically. There are many examples where common sense wasn't as sensible as originally thought.
- Why date someone who actively votes against your family's best interests?

I couldn't imagine marrying someone with totally opposing political views. Disagreements on some issues sure, but totally opposing political views is essentially like having totally opposing values, morals and ethics to a degree, etc. Base things that play a role in determining compatibility.
- Dating someone with opposing views is the easier of two situations people can find themselves in.
  The harder situation is when you date and marry someone with similar views to yours, but then 5, 10, 15, etc years into the marriage they get radicalized by family members or YouTube. And suddenly their opinions change overnight and you are legally bound to an angry, hostile stranger.
  
  The good old dehu-Manosphere. Malignant, cancerous trash run by grifters and signal boosted by insecure mysognists.
  Edit: I see we have some fans of Joe Rogaine, Jordan Small-Peterson, and or Andrew T-hate on here.
- I thought I was going crazy when this person I went on a couple dates with told me she was gonna pursue the other guy. She had said he was a Trump supporter and was offended at some things he’d said to her. Must have had she face of a movie star and a genius in bed. I was pretty offended, but whatever.
  
  Sounds like you dodged a massive bullet lol.
  
  Some women never grow out of their "bad boys" phase, so there's that.

Yeah, if my wife didn't think other people deserved the right to exist it would put quite the strain on our relationship.
- especially if it turns out you are one of the people who doesn't deserve the right to exist, just that she magically makes an exception for you specifically because you're one of the good ones
  
  As someone who genetically inherited a chronic life threatening illness, I am one of those people to the GOP.

The real question: how do they make it past the dating stage?
- They start out aligned, but then one person's ideology changes over time (perhaps even after marriage).
- I was raised a combination of atheist (mom) and Quaker (dad) - the atheism definitely won, though I did internalize a decent amount of the Quakerism... I was engaged to a Catholic girl in my mid-20s. We discussed things early on, I said I'd respect her beliefs if she'd respect my lack thereof, and for a while it worked out nicely, we'd talk about spiritual stuff, but neither of us was trying to convert the other, it was more of a "how do you feel about x" or "how do you explain y"... But after a while, she decided that since I was "preventing" her from going to church some Sundays (I wasn't, I was fine with her going without me, she just didn't want to if she had the option to stay in bed and fool around with me, and why on earth would I turn her down?) that she wanted me to go with her the next Sunday whenever she skipped one. In retrospect, this was the first nail in the coffin of our relationship, but of course I didn't recognize it at the time. It took us moving in together permanently for me to see how controlling she was, and how mean she could be if she didn't get her way...
  
  She was a church-going catholic, wanted you to go too, but was living together before marriage (mortal sin), fooling around (mortal sin) and engaged to an atheist (not a sin in itself but frowned upon)? I mean yeah, just the sheer contradiction of these is a red flag, no wonder the girl ended up being messed up later on
- Sometimes you don't know. Or think it's not important.
  There's this thing basically (you've probably heard about it), "I don't like X people, but you're good because you're not like them". X can be race, gender, any other things. When you are with that kinda person as long as they like you, you won't feel how they are, they'll treat you nice but it's an exception not the rule. But when they don't like you, they revert back to treating you like the X group. They'll even go "I knew X would be like this" and all.
  Now in many cases if they were vocal about it from the beginning you'd notice and might get away. But in many cases they won't be vocal, or they'll talk about it with some extreme examples which you might feel is justified and you know you're not like that so it's fine. And in those cases you yourself might hate those subgroup for ruining your reputation so you might even bond over that.
- Most people don't care that much and they are not that passionate about politics.
  For some people politics ideologies is not the central point of their lives. Thus it really doesn't become something that disallow dating.
  
  Values are crucial. Your politics tell me your values.

Why would anyone marry a person who openly hates women, minorities, LGBTQ+, and anybody they deem different?
- Because one or the other person in the relationship isn't being honest which happens quite frequently. People in relationships lie by omission all the time.
  
  In a relationship, sure. In a marriage? Can't help to fault them for not finding out.
- Are you trying to imply that the people you disagree with politically - presumably those to the right of center - all fit into the cartoon caricature you just painted? The things you listed aren't even political issues but social ones.
  
  You're right, there is a huge chunk of right of center people who hate women and minorities but keep their opinions behind closed doors. How could OP have lumped them with those who are open about those opinions!
  
  Zealots have zero appreciation for nuance in life.
  Everyone who has an opinion that doesn't match theirs 100% is a Nazi that should put into a fema camp staffed by Obama death panels. That's the only solution tbh

Who is funding this calibre of research, they also found dogs are more likely to bite if you kick them in the head.
- In the western scientific model, this is how we differentiate truths from anecdotes and assumptions. Not sure why this needs to be repeated in every thread about the results of research.
  
  No one is casting aspersions on the scientific method or the value of research, what is questionable in this case is that the conclusion simply follows naturally from the hypothesis. The proposition here is that people who have opposing political views are more likely to be antagonistic to each other, that is a tautology.
  
  Because America is fucked and the rest of the West is just a couple steps behind them.

I cant imagine marrying a fascist

My wife has a friend who is a quirky anime loving girl with no desire for kids, not religious, and makes good money in healthcare.
Her friend is married to a hardcore Trump cultist that really wants kids, is very religious, and despite not having a good paying job, wants his wife to stay home and tend to the future kids.
My wife and I just honestly don't understand how they are married.
- Don't worry, it's only a matter of time and they will join you in not understanding.
  
  Or they become a bangmaid. One of the two.
- Lol that divorce is coming, it's just a matter of "when" not "if."

Yeah no shit. If my partner thinks social welfare is bad and i am a socialist, ofc we wont get along

Couples with opposing views on many things face higher risk of separation, is this a surprise to anyone?

Considering we are reaching a point where the political differences May very well might be whether your spouse deserves to exist and not be chattel breeding slaves, yeah easy to guess why it's a deal breaker.

Something something floor made out of floor

I don't get along well with people who aren't at least within "discussing distance" politically. I wonder how people even date when they don't agree on some fundamentals.
- it's the difference between "i don't think that's a good way to make food cheaper" and "i don't think poor people deserve to eat"

A lot of people saying how does this happen, it happens over time with small shifts. It happens because our stability as communities and nations is changing faster and more frequently.
Question is when do you take off the wedding ring? (or mental equivalent) because your promise to this person is most likely the strongest conviction most people hold. For better or for worse, implies we understand a partnership has ups and downs that we ride through. A fundamental change is attitude could be seen as an up or a down.
- Your assessment makes sense, but some of the mismatched relationships mentioned here sound like they started out unbalanced, and that must be the case. Some couples are clearly doomed much earlier on.

No shit sherlock

I love the virtue signaling the OP triggered haha

Well when one side wants to literally murder the other, Yeah.

This sounds like something I would tell my friends as a "joke" when we where all very tired.

I would never be with someone who doesn't find MAGA repulsive.
At this point, anyone who votes Republican is complicit, and I've cut all of them out of my life except for my parents, and even then I don't invite them to social events and have stopped giving them money when they run low.

People that disagree about fundamental things in life tend to not be good matches romantically....news at 11.
Tune in Saturday to watch our round table where several overly serious and over paid people discuss why the relationship between the Jewish woman and her literal Nazi husband fell apart.

Several comments on here read like prime examples of “anyone who opposes me is a fascist”. Of course in conservative forums it’s similarly “anyone who opposes me is a lunatic Marxist”. Try having a relationship across aisles in this climate!
The study took 30 years to conclude but I wonder whether the current political climate makes it even more unlikely that people across political divides can form really any kind of relationship. I know I have found it difficult to maintain a relationship with anyone staunchly conservative even if political leaning has never been a main criterion for me in mate selection or in friendships.
- The current political climate is different than before. It not falls along the lines of empathy. I don't see how marriages survive that in a healthy way.
  That isn't to say they'll all divorce. Divorce rates are very tightly coupled to economic well-being and children. But I do think a lot more people are staying in horrible marriages if their partner has no empathy.

GOOD

I get that people on lemmy are usually very political, and a big chunk of their lives orbit around politics.
But for most people that's not the case.
I think that's why I see so many comments of people shocked that someone would date other person who would vote for a different political party.
If politics is not a priority on your life it won't really have much an impact on their relationship.
Talking from experience, I've dated people that have voted both the right and the extreme right. And it really didn't burdened our relationship. You must understand that our conversations usually never pivot about politics, and when we talk about politics we don't get passionate about it it's just more like "you think that? Cool I think this other thing. So... what are eating today?"
I suppose in long term when you are all your life with a person overtime there can be frictions, specially if one or both become more passionate about politics.
- If politics is not a priority on your life it won’t really have much an impact on their relationship.
  This can ostensibly be true for stuff like what economic spending to prioritize, but once the country is deciding between fascist and non-fascist you can't really not have politics impact people's lives on a daily basis. If you live in a country where you don't have to decide whether the political party criminalizes marginalized groups that's all well and good, but it's not the reality for everyone.
  
  I wrote another comment about this friend that votes for a political party that would make Trump look like a liberal. Still not an issue, because we are both very peaceful people and we are not very pushy, so really even if there are differences we don't try to hurt each other over those differences and we don't take it as an insult or something of extreme gravity. Because once again, not everyone is extremely political. Even if you think they should be because the current situation mandates doe more political activism or whatever, it doesn't mean that people are..
  And second big reason is the reasons she has to vote for that party. She does it mostly in spite of the socialist party to bring them down because she thinks they are corrupt thieves (and as I said in the other comment sadly it has recently been proven to be right).
  Also it's important to understand that your vision of an opposite political party is not the same vision that the voters of that party have of it. In this example, and I'm sure it applies to trump as well, I think vox is a fascist political party. But she does not, she doesn't think they are fascists and of course she doesn't think of herself as a fascist (neither do I). She doesn't vote it to stablish fascism. I remember saying to her that if they get elected they will cut right for women, she just doesn't believe that's going to happen, and that's it, different believes on what's going to happen if that party gets elected.
  And I'm skeptical on my own knowledge of the future as well, before the current government was elected I said that the government wouldn't do some things or some other things won't happen, and those bad things ended up happening and I was wrong about those.
  I think a big part of being open minded is knowing that yourself could be wrong, and being able to understand the reasons other people have to believe they are right. Not trying to make up those reasons for my own convenience. It would be easy, and politically convenient, to say that everyone who votes for vox (or trump in that case) is a fascist, but that statement would be closed minded and, probably, radicalized. People are complex, some would vote alt-right because they are fascists, but other would not. When engaging into any kind of relationship with anyone it's good to listen to the reasons they have for the things they believe in. If a person would be a fascist I wouldn't be friends of her, but that's not the same, imho, as voting for a party that I think is fascist.
- asdf
  
  You tell me. I can tell how I characterize myself.
  I used to vote between the far left party and the moderate left party. And for the next election my plan is not vote because they disappointed me big time.
  Giving more examples I have this friend, she votes for the alt-right party here (vox). But I get along with here very well. One instance of discrepancy is that while she is not homophobic (she knows I'm bi and she never said to me anything bad because of it) she is on the opinion that "gay people" is more promiscuous. Like she has some of these prejudices but she is not ill meaned, she is also Christian. But I don't think she is a bad person, and it's not like she is talking all the time about that or about politics in general. Most of the time when she talked about politics she just said that she was going to vote the alt-right because our current president is a thief. Which giving the current events in my country she might be right on that (big corruption scandal just blew up). But what I mean, is that she has some different opinions and when casting the ballot she votes for this radical party. But our relationship hasn't been hindered because of that, and she is not even a bad person, she just don't like the socialist party. And overall we don't really talk that much about politics, it's not a central theme for either of us, but even when we talk about it we have never argue, just talk differences calmly and with respect, we never insulted each other because politics.
- In a different system where you've got multiple parties and there's the "20% of GDP goes to welfare, we're meh on cannabis, duh on gay rights, our top priority is unions and workers rights and our second priority is environmental protection" party and there's the "25% GDP to welfare, we're meh on unions and workers rights, duh on the environment, top priority is gay rights and second priority is education" a couple made of one member of each of those two parties will probably work, because those two parties likely unite against the "20% of GDP goes to kicking the poor in the stomach, we're death to the environment and death to workers, our top priority is making the rich richer and our second priority is war in the middle east" party.
  In the American system, which is quickly devolving into two religions whose core tenets are to hate each other as obnoxiously as possible, I just have to wonder where you even met? At what trans-ally klan rally did that meet cute take place?

My wife is subjective and I am objective. This has caused her to get quite upset in conversations.
- Tbf, objectivity is made of subjectivity.
  
  Subjectivity has conviction in the face of adversity. Objectivity will change based on new information.
  Both have their value but there is great conflict between them.

Unless your a true progressive, leftist, socialist, ACAB, ANTIFA outside the 2 regressive parties your views are mostly the same as they preserve cancerous capitalism .
Who would anyone be so dumb to marry /be with someone in any relationship configuration of opposite mind?
This study was a waste of money that could the have gone community and medical care because its that DUH alread established knowledge!!!!!
- Your graphic is WAY out of date since trump's second term started.
- American defaultism and idiological label simplification, we meet again

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