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Lemmy Shitpost @lemmy.world

SassyRamen @lemmy.world

5d ago

We'd like to welcome our newest Student to Hogwarts, Hun-Gary Mc'Spud.

135 comments

Giovanni Espresso
- Or this https://youtu.be/5MS_Fczs_98

Frenchy McPistols
Cause I'm American but my ancestors are from France
But I'm trans so I'm sure there would be a dickchick or she could be slightly tasteful and give me the middle name Elagabalus

I'm white so she wouldn't base my name on ethnicity, she'd probably go with Tr*nny Girlman
- Her trans character in Hogwarts Legacy was Sirona Ryan so you’re not that far off.
  
  I don’t get it
  
  literally came to comments to say Sirona Ryan, lol
- she actually did that for the "trans" character in the Hogwarts game.
  Sirona Ryan. I shit you not.
  
  I'm not native English and I don't know enough gay lingo. What's wrong with Sirona Ryan? Need answers so I can laugh with you guys
- Trinny sounds like a cool name though
- Tranny Girlman the abused and hated house elf, that everyone thinks is weird and creepy because (and this is always mentioned when Rolling writes about T.G.) HE wears a dress and makes everyone uncomfortable.
  A little on the nose like Ron Weasly's dirt.
- Or Amanda Richardson
- 😂😂😂

I'm your average white american so Teddy Gunsight
- At first I missread this as Teddy Gunshit und feel that ain't half bad 😎

cracker bongcloud

Kimchi Chong

Paddy McCarbombing
- From the POOREST family in the entire land and always dirty

Whitey McCracker

Ching Chong
- i mean she wasn't far off when she named the Asian character. Cho Chang if you didn't know (yeah it doesn't even make sense). clearly named so only because she knew they would never publish that name.
  
  I never associated Cho with a ching Chong China man.
- Pretty sure that is already a Harry Potter character.

Asian Invasion.

Klaus Schnitzel
Though later someone will mention he changed his name from Hitler
- Are you by any chance related to the Düsseldorf Schnitzelnazis? If so, how's aunt Frieda?

François LaGrenouille

Tequitaco Sanchez

Crooknose Goldhorde the goblin
- You'd be a banker at gringots i suppose?
  
  Are you suggesting that she coded the greedy, big-nosed subhuman bankers based on antisemitic stereotypes?
- i almost choked on my food reading this

Fuckterfs Fuckrowling
- Here son, drink this, it'll help. A potion of mother's milk.

Jose Frijoles Sanchez

Jean Luc Baguette
- Captain of the starship Frenchie
  
  Frencherprise

Nia Nubia

Y'all out here propagating some covert data mining
- That's pretty clever, but luckily for me it's just a shit post
  
  That's what a fed would say! And someone that's not a fed would say!

Wyatt Yankstrash

Red Eaglefeather. Obvs
- Eagel Redman or Red Firewater xD

Harald Töpfer.
- Adalbert Taumeltor

Wow, what a fun way to give a data point about yourself to attach to a public profile already connected to your IP address and potentially your email as well. Cool!
- Also this guy: "I'm Canadian"
  
  Am I?
- User name does not check out.
  
  It's not out of fear, it's a conscientious objection. To the normalisation of the erasure of privacy and personal agency in an online space that exists to control our behaviour brokered by algorithms incentivised to expand human suffering for profit.
  Or, you know some other gay shit....

Johnny Canuck
- Buddy Guy
- nah first name would probably be Sori

Gunther Eagleman
- That ones good, your wand is a Smith & Wesson Governor. Good luck young wizard!

Midley Plainwest - "Slytherin" the sorting hat said with a drawl.
EDIT: "Ah dangit theres a snake on my robe!"
- Write that down! Write that down!!

Stroopwaffel van Klompmill.

Cuntious Goonbag

Tina Cracker.

Tory Whiteman

Heinrich Himmler? I don't know, I don't like J.B. Bowlingball
- Adie Goosestep
  
  Göring Rolling

Cornshucker MacWoodshoe
Wait she's British so it would probably be Corningfrumple MacWallibootenshiretonwotsalldisden
- Pronounced as “John Smith”.

Miguel Ibáñez de todos Los Santos.
When he’s not sleeping cause siesta, he is playing in a flamenco band.

Rakija Drinković. And they would constantly be drunk.

Hans Wurst
- Wait until you see Hans Best!
- I love this, because a "Hans worst" in dutch is someone incompetent and useless.
  
  Same in German (that's the joke ;)

Vladimir Vodkovich
Zulu Safari
Hirohito Kawasaki
Panda Li Chien
Fernandez Fiesta
- This guy collecting ethnicities like it's bingo.

Downvote away, but fuck this bitch and even invoking her name in any way but to call for her removal from (take your pick)
- Okay Lezzy Splitlove (tried to think of what she'd call you in another dumb drunk tweet)

Shawn White
- Wright Devil

I'm a little embarrassed about how many of these, if not for the thread, sound like believable names to me. Mayhaps I'm not as cultured as I would like to think.

Pasta Italianman
Or Italia Pastaman
Maybe Peppino Mafiera
- Peppino Mafiera
  In going to start using this as my Rusty Shakleford

Palid McHaggis, hoots, mon, och aye the noo!

Andrew Redskin

Fun game. Hmm. Poutine van der Windmill.
Nobody does anti Dutch racism quite like the English. Comes of them being conquered by William of Orange back in the day.
- sorry but that has to be Win der Mill
  
  Have to capture the Dutch-Canadian.
- There are two things in the world I can't stand: people who are intolerant of other people's cultures... and the Dutch.
- Nobody does anti Dutch racism quite like the English.
  Really? I don't know many Brits who have a bad opinion of the Dutch. I certainly don't; I've never met a Dutch person I didn't like.
  Comes of them being conquered by William of Orange back in the day.
  Billy the who now?
  
  The Anglo-Dutch wars. William of Orange landed troops in London in 1688 and took the throne with Mary II. It's more complicated than that, but it was a whole Thing. Charles II died, leaving James II in charge, but Catholicism was on the way out, and conveniently, William of Orange, a Protestant, was married to Mary II.
  The undercurrent of anti-Dutch sentiment started back then still has remnants in the language. See "going Dutch" "Dutch courage" "Dutch treat" "Dutch uncle". :)
  I'm mostly teasing. It's more funny than serious.

Potatrick Tuberman

Honkey McRoundeye
- Methany Peckerwood

Gaylord Perriwinkle.

Turk Kebabman

Probably Unga Boonga

Mudbob Laqueefastien

Cletus Luxlunae. He'd specialize in spirits. And he'd hate TERFs because they ain't minding their own fucking business.

Pasty McBeergut

135 comments