I just get ads for antidepressants

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Hi there, little weirdo. Welcome. Take a seat. You belong.

I don't get DMs because no one recognizes me.
I literally walked into a bar with 14-15 men and women from my graduating class. I recognized and named each one. Not a single one of them recognized me.
I can blend in with a fed, doctor, magat, retail employee, door sales man.
For a long time the invisibility was painful.
But recently I realize, it can have a lot of power too.
- Did you watch Iron Man 3, too? Just don't go full-Killian.
  
  Yes I have, but I hope not to.
- I had the opposite problem. 5 years and a new gender after high school people were recognizing me basically immediately. Like I looked pretty different…
  I've come to accept that it's because I have a large and distinct presence, which is a blessing and a curse.
  If you're ever interested in developing more presence, try performing the role of yourself. It's the same as being yourself but you ham it up a bit. Exaggerate the fun bits so the audience in the back can see. I noticed I do that instinctively while trying to learn to blend in.
- I'm forced to assume that you are now surprisingly attractive, as well. That's the way out goes with the person I never noticed in school.
  Of course, part of it might be that my definition of attractive grew up to be a lot healthier than it was when I was a kid.
  
  I'm flattered! I have less hair, no beard, and a lot more muscle.
  Unfortunately my ex-wife really fucked with my self-image so I don't actually know how attractive I am or not. Plus I'm like anti-photogenic, I just can't get a good picture.

skill issue, just be so weird that you make friends with the other weird guys
side effects may include: finding out why they are ostracized
- Linux and open source club or something
- I knew it, I just wasn't weird enough!

Arya is hardly the most weird character in GOT... Probably the most based character in the series.
- The hound also doesn't get DM's about cryptocurrency
  
  I can only imagine the crypto pitch to the hound.
  A proper "fuck off" from him would be swift.

Am I the only one that read DM as Dungeon Master? I thought it was cool that they each discovered the joys of DnD after graduating.
- I was so confused lmao thanks for illuminating me. l Legit thought OP had some weirdass dungeon masters and was about to respond actually most don't do that you just got a find the one for you lmao
- So you uh, aren't getting these DMs I'm guessing?
  
  😆

I solved this problem for life by going to my 10 year reunion (a mostly Mormon town). I only went because I happened to be on a motorcycle trip in the region with a girlfriend, a certified Freaky-Chick™️.
I had my own bike, but chose to ride on the back of hers to add extra confusion.
Just to be sure I was not included any more, I loudly proposed we wait at least 25 years for another when the choices presented were 5 or 10 years for the next one.
- I did something similar, was deep in the gothic scene at the time, put on my best makeup and goth bling, came with my equally goth gf, and behaved pretty out of it. My school time was hell, so it was fair retribution.

i have literally no idea how anyone from high school would even find me to contact me if they wanted to
- This is the way
- meirl

I talk to one person from highschool, it's my current department head, he joined the company about 10 years before me. We've joked that this is the closest either of us will ever get to a class reunion.
The best part is we have a similar sense of humor and give each other shit during every team meeting. This is especially fun when newbies are in the meeting, we take it up a notch just to screw with them. Afterwards we of course let them in on the gag.... eventually.

I quit Facebook and changed my name. The only messages from people I knew in high school are old friends texting to catch up from time to time. It's nice
- I deleted my Facebook 15 years ago. It’s on my list of top 10 best decisions I ever made.
- changed my name
  In real life or just in socials? If in real life, damn that's some dedication!
  
  It's not why I changed my name, but it was a nice perk

Are Becky and Kyle the new Karen and Chad?
- Becky's were before Karen.
  "Oh my god, Becky, look at her butt!"
  Thanks Sir Mix-a-Lot.
  
  Fun fact I learned recently: The band The Presidents of the United States of America did a collab with Sir Mix-A-Lot under the name Subset
- Becky is Karen's friend who thinks she is cool because she's nice and doesn't yell at customer service workers but is actually a wet fart of a person and is just kinda boring. Kyle is... Well kyle is kyle. Everyone knows a kyle, maybe your kyle was called kevin (but I assure you he was still a kyle). Kyle is the guy who has it all figured out, if only "it all" was this years pyramid scam. Kyle is a nice guy! He wants to help you, really! He remembers that one time in high school when he tripped and you walked around him instead of stepping on his papers and he really appreciated that small kindness (like didn't get much love at home).
  These are different from Karen and Chad. Chad is the Quarterback Soccer Captain of the Basketball team. He's got more meat on his jaw than a butcher has on display. He got married to Karen, they dated all through high school so nobody was really surprised, but what IS surprising is that the sports scholarship that Chad got a full ride to Good University with got taken away after his 3rd on campus rape, something that surely would've flown under the radar if he just managed to throw that last game winning pass. Karen, for reasons known only to her and her gods, always forgives Chad for his misgivings and misdeeds.

This is so sad. Even weirdos deserve to farm those sweet, sweet, totally legitimate 1,900% yields

So pyramid schemes on both sides?

You know why you get these ads?
I was also weird. I now make a living selling artwork for antidepressant ads

Why does it say cryptocurrency instead of pyramid scheme for the second caption?
- You know how you sometimes go to thesaurus to find synonyms so you don't repeat the same word twice
- Kyle is about to educate you on the precise definition of a pyramid scheme

Me who didn't get into a group chat... 👀
Btw if you don't have a phone in school, you basically don't have friends. This is what society is like these days.
- Btw if you don't have a phone in school, you basically don't have friends.
  I can vouch for that. It's true. I'm early Gen-Z (200X) and I didn't have my own phone until 2012. And I don't have any contact from my school.

I was weird and still got the pyramid scheme DM. What about it?
- Their desperation level was higher than your weirdness level.
- Please file a complaint with your universe representative.
  \ (There is a line.)

#meirl

I got an invitation for a wedding.
- Everyone will get a gift basket that makes them have to buy crypto coins for a pyramid scheme that invests in cryptocurrency!

Me who isn't even active in popular socmed so no one DMed me

ooooh that is why

I was in the same unit as some guys from my high school during my time as a conscript in the German army. Since then I've literally only ever met one of them briefly, thirty years ago. Apart from that I've had zero contact with anyone I've gone to school with.

Truly. WTF. 🤣 I recently checked my cobwebbed FB and saw a random message from someone I barely remember from school, inviting me to a reunion. I guess it could've been worse, but... bitch, what are you smoking? 🤦🏼‍♂️

Me but I also refused to use Facebook so no-one could DM me even if they wanted to.

53 comments