You are now a duck, what do you do first??
You are now a duck, what do you do first??
You are still you, you can speak human language that you already know, and you know how to speak duck.
You have to learn how to be a duck. This means you gotta learn how to fly, hunt food, etc.
I’d walk to a lemonade stand to see if they had any grapes.
76ReplyThen (and I cannot emphasize this enough) I'd waddle away.
39ReplyTill the very next day?
6Reply
It's been 84 years...
12Reply
Put on a blue cap, blue nautical shirt; but, and I can't stress this enough, NO PANTS.
55ReplyBut for gods sake, wrap yourself in a towel after you shower.
17ReplyHand cover your crotch if someone walks in on you
6Reply
Quack
52ReplyQuack?!
2ReplyQUAAAAACCCKKK....!!!
1ReplyQuack.
1Reply
FLY!
Damn, 3 hour old post and no one said FLY!? Ya’all need to be ducks more often…
44ReplyThis guy ducks
13ReplyAutocorrect has its moment of glory!
8Reply
Quack
32ReplyCame here to read this comment
2Reply
Open a wine bottle, maybe? Put the corkscrew to use.
26Reply"Bro, you see that duck over there? It stole my wine bottle"
9Reply"Do you want it back? It's already open now." "You know what? I think I'll pass."
6Reply
Quak
21ReplyQuack?
10ReplyQuack :)
9Reply
Quack
19ReplyCame here to quack, was not disappointed
5Reply
Murder.
16ReplyPeace was never an option.
5Reply
For those who are unfamiliar, let me introduce you to Howard the Duck (really the first movie in the Marvel Cinematic Universe).
15ReplyDoes Howard have a duck dick or a human dick
2ReplyIs that Duckdo? Or are they both ducks...
0ReplyLea Thompson is not a duck.
5Reply
Pick one person at a time and speak to them in human language. In some cases it will be to give them a special magical friend, in other cases it will be to cause them to question their sanity.
Then I'd get to seeing about this whole corkscrew dick thing.
15ReplyDepends, am I a horse-sized duck? I might have some people to fight
15ReplyI see you're a person of culture.
3Reply
Use my corkscrew shaped penis
14Replyrape
7ReplyUnfortunately this is what ducks do.
1Reply
Crime
14ReplyOr crime busting
3ReplyI am the terror that flaps in the night...
2Reply
Head downtown & act cute until a college girl adopts me as her pet. Duck-nuzzle some boobies.
13ReplyGot any grapes?
13ReplyWaddle around the pond hitting up old folks for bread that is unhealthy for my diet and nipping at the toes of small children.
13ReplyI would learn to fly and then fly to one of those parks where secret service agents meet. Become a spy and sell the intelligence I gather.
11ReplyFly into bohemian grove.
1Reply
Check if my quack has an echo
11Reply- explain the whole thing to my partner and ask them to protect me.
Failing that:
-
carefully waddle to where I know people feed ducks
-
practice flying and copy other ducks
-
ask other ducks for tips
10ReplyPeace was never an option.
10ReplyI find someone with a corkscrew fetish.
9ReplyCover my feathers in wax like substance from my ass glands. Once I'm all waxed up I go for a swim.
9ReplyI’d float around in the water as my body would now resemble a boat.
9ReplyFind /u/fuckswithducks
9ReplyFly into the sunset.
8ReplyPretty sure I'd drop my phone.
8ReplyI would have an exploding corkscrew penis. I'll find ways to entertain myself.
7ReplyFly. Omg fly. I have always wanted to be able to fly. I went hanggliding once and it was magical. I want that again <3
7ReplyTypically a demo flight at an airport is like $100. Go do that, too!
1Reply
Probably contacting some media outlets to try and monetize my talking-duck status, and wondering if if my life expectancy is on par with duck or human.
7ReplyDo you want to end up being dissected in a government lab? Because that's how you get dissected in a government lab.
11Reply
Betray my country.
7ReplyProbably make a poo on the floor.
Either mine or in the hallway (if I know how to open the door). 6ReplyHere is an alternative Piped link(s):
JERRY, NO MINECRAFT! I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.
1Reply
Probably open up my phone and pull up youtube to watch some duck documentaries. I don't even know what I'm supposed to be eating or what things out there are usually wanting to eat me.
6ReplyThere are some really good "I just woke up as a duck" tutorials on Coursera.
6ReplyAvoid the ones on Wiki How, they are repurposed courses originally intended for people who woke up as a chicken.
4Reply
I’d head straight to Subway for my free sandwich!
6ReplyI start wondering if I'm ugly.
5ReplyThe first thing is probably quack.. I would love to fly to someone in the park working on something and solve the issue for them. I'd like to be known as a helpful duck.
5ReplyI suppose I'd duck.
5ReplyImmediately make a joke about quacking up.
4ReplyQuack.
4ReplyRake in the lake
3ReplyIt's a lovely day, and you are a horrible goose
2Reply
Attack someone with a sandwich
3ReplyFly south
3ReplyI'd duck. Then I would probably duck some more.
2ReplyHockey.
2ReplyThere could be more to it than that - like take up ballet.
0ReplyHere is an alternative Piped link(s):
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.
1Reply
Rape
-6ReplyThe question implies that you would still have your human brain, not that you would think like an actual duck.
2ReplyStill rape
-1Reply