On it!

Chokes on card then lives forever not realizing orientation of attempt mattered.

That fucking apostrophe.

(Me, after eating the card): I am a box ghost, ooooooo, fear me!

I've had so many death but I just feel dry and papery...

How about a twofer:

I'm always partial to the hermit, maybe it will double my money

Is there a bee card? Whoever wrote that needs the power of spelling.