they're your genes too

I still have to fight wild animals (my dogs) over my pizza tho

Live 20,000 years ago at a ripe old age of 37 and after hunting a mammoth all day then getting home with a large amount of meat, stubbed a toe scratching it then dying from the scratch.

You win some, you lose some ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯
Average life expectancy included early childhood deaths. So if you made it to teenager, you would probably live to an old age close to what you might live to today.
- Ehh not exactly. Yes infant mortality would skew the data a bit, but modern medicine, along with modern agriculture has definitely increased the average life expectancy by a sizable portion.
  Nowadays, people don't have to worry about food stockpiles and periods of shortages. Malnutrition was definitely a big issue back then. Especially with things like baby food being present, which was a big factor in reducing baby death rates
  Modern medicine such as vaccines, surgeries, supplements, and even basic hygiene has made wonders for the average health of a person. Things that would normally kill a person, like bacteria infecting a wound, nowadays is mostly recoverable and minor.
  If you look back even just a century, life expectancy was a lot lower than the present. https://www.statista.com/statistics/1040079/life-expectancy-united-states-all-time/

The damn ancestors couldnt even conceive of conjuring one up using magic mirror boxes. Theyd have us all hanged for witchcraft

- They already had booze and porn though.

well, they also didnt have to call a stranger to eat, so they probably understand.

If rather hunt and fight wild animals.

Or just pick a place with online ordering.

Depends. Do I already have an account or need to create a new one?

I choose to believe my ancestors look on me in envy and take pride in their lineage.

Narrator: They don't.

they actually could order a pizza over the phone back then, although before the invention and popularisation of cars it was deemed easier to hunt for food.

Ancestors wouldn’t even recognize their own people. They would think we are aliens or witches as mentioned.

Do they whisper "Yes, I'd be worried about identity theft too if my details were going into a phone app".