2y ago

Legal definitions aside- what milestone made you think, "I'm an adult now."?

95 comments

When my dad died. I was 46. My mom had died 7 weeks before. I realized I had no one to turn to anymore and I was at the top of the trouble ladder. I wasn't stoked about it. I'm still not.
- Sorry for your loss.
- As a parent and homeowner I definitely feel like an adult now. But I do still reach out to my parents for help and support from time to time. I'm really going to miss them when they're gone, but being "at the top of the trouble ladder" isn't something I had considered.
- I kinda know the feeling. My dad died in '07 when I was 34, my mother in '20 and her last brother died this year. My sisters and I are now the oldest generation (together with nices and nephews on that side) My yongest sister just turned 42.
  I still refuse to admit I'm adult, just old. (At least that's what my body tells me from time to time, "you're not 20 anymore, I'm not putting up with those shenanigans")
- Sorry for your loss

I remember the exact moment. I had just got a Home Depot gift card from my in-laws and my first thought was, "I'm going to buy a really nice hose"

Cashing in pennies so I could get enough gas to get to work and pick up my check... To pay for more gas
- Reminds me of when I moved cities and was having a rough go of it. I borrowed 20 bucks for gas and my gas light was still on. This was only a few weeks after I had ran out of gas on my way to an interview to deliver pizza.
  
  Who orders pizza during an interview?
- That's how I spent my teenage years. I wasn't much of an adult yet.

Wanting socks for christmas.
- I was that kid though. Not exclusively socks, but I have sensitive feet and learned early on that there are few pleasures as good as the feel of a nice new pair of socks against my footsies.
  
  Well, not all of us were born so wise.
  
  We will always cherish our memories of you, Dumbledore.

I'm old so things were a bit different...
When I was growing up, adults were Mister and Misses. When Mr. Jones became Jack and Mrs. Smith became Barbara it was an indication that I was an adult.
- It's funny you mention this. It was really weird the first time one of my coworkers referred to me as "Miss" plus my first name. In the southeast US, this is a common way to show respect to an older woman that you consider a friend too.
- Damn. You hit the nail on the head with that one. I don't remember when I started referring to adults by their first names, but it was such an odd feeling. Now I call everyone from the 89 year old neighbor to the 9 year old across the street by their first name, and they're okay with it, gack!
- I'm being pedantic, but *missus
- I'm a nurse in my late 40s, and I still have to open conversations with my elderly patients "Mister Smith" "Mizz Smith" when I first meet them. I can't help myself; it's how I was raised haha

Probably the first time I realized someone didn't like me and I honestly didn't care. I hadn't done anything to them that I know of. I guess I just wasn't their cup of tea. And you know what? I was ok with that because I like me and that's not something that I've always been able to say.
- Well I like that about you. Good for you.

When I was excited about buying some mundane thing for my house, like a toaster oven or chair.

When I realized that adults are just kids in an older outer packaging. Things barely change, they just start involving money and hearth, that's pretty much it.
- Oh man, getting into a workplace and finding out folks are just as gossipy or petty about inconsequential bullshit as high schoolers are (Like that one tweet about a manager being upset that the CC's on a e-mail weren't in seniority order.) was an eye opener for sure.

Had to buy toilet paper. That shit magically appeared when I was a kid.

The first time was when I accidentally cut myself with a new knife while trying to chop a cabbage. Thankfully due to quick reflexes, it wasn't a serious cut, but I remember for just a split second that old childhood instinct of looking around for the adult kicked in... right before I remembered I was the adult, and was the one in charge of the situation.
After that I just got myself plastered up and was groovy. Still have the scar to this day to remind me of my green nemesis.
- A bit harsh blaming it on the cabbage tbh.
  
  Nah I'm with OP, it was clearly the cabbage's fault.

Back in 2014, I got my own apartment, and realized that I am now responsible, not only for feeding myself, but also keeping a roof over my head, I need insurance and need to pay for utilities.
I remeber that I cried a bit when my parents left after having helped me move, then I walked to the shops and bought a steak and made dinner...
- If you know how to cook you're ahead of the curve.
  
  Oh, I am lazy, but decent cook.
  Lemon chicken cooked in a covered ceramic pot in the oven is peak lazy cooking, total time 2,5 hours, total time actively doing stuff in the kitchen, 30 min, taste, excellent.

While hiking for one of the first times as an adult, I remember going to the local school and, upon seeing the school and having to remind myself I was done with school days, thinking "wow this feels weird, it's like playing the post-story of a video game".

I clogged the toilet and it overflowed at an apartment I was sharing during a college internship. I panicked and yelled for my roommate. My roommate took care of it by toweling it all up, mopping, and such; I watched him do it all, horrified.
Afterwards I realized what a shitty thing it was for me to a) not clean it up myself and b) not even help. I grew up a lot that day.

Getting a pet. I moved out of my parents' place in 2009, but bringing home a cat a few months later felt like the first big adult decision I had made. I had pets before, but they were family pets so my siblings and parents all had a hand in taking care of them.
But the feeling of "this is a living thing and it's relying on me to keep it alive" was an entirely different thing.

Sometime in the past ten years, my doctors started being younger than I am, and I'm still conflicted about it.
- This reminds me of when Matt Smith was cast in Doctor Who and, for the first time in my life, the Doctor was younger than I am.

When i realized "there are no adults" (as a child would define it, of authority)... only children, peers, and those lusting for power.

When the centerfold was younger than me.
- When the centerfold is younger than my kid.

I’m 31, home owner with a husband, 2 kids and a cat. I still don’t feel like an adult and I don’t know if I ever will!

I was very young when I thought I was an adult. I was wrong and got in trouble for sassmouth but I definitely thought I was an adult at like age 7.
To give a serious answer, though, probably at 15 when I had a real, legal job and a car and stuff. I grew up fairly poor and was already just an independent kid. I had been earning money mowing lawns and refereeing soccer and stuff. But once I could legally work, I got a kitchen job and childhood was over pretty quick. At that point, I sort of was an adult. I lived with my mom (because I legally had to) but I had car insurance bills and a paycheck and shit. I had to do taxes. I couldn’t wait to turn 18 and not need my mom’s signature for things.
I know that’s weird but some kids are just like that. I remember when we all went to college, I was so ready to launch that it came as a shock to me when some of my friends were homesick and confused.
- Which country legally allows child labor and driving at 15?
  
  The United States. I think most places allow employment at around that age (and even younger for certain jobs). https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legal_working_age
  They actually raised the driving age in my state right after I got my license. When I got mine (late 90’s), we just needed to be 15 and take the driving test. My younger sister is only a few years younger and she had to wait longer and do a whole process of getting a learner’s permit where she couldn’t drive alone at night or something.
  
  Which country legally allows child labor and driving at 15?
  I'm not @ShittyBeatlesFCPres, but New Zealand did when I was 15, and I'm sure it's far from the only country like that. They have since raised it to 16.
  When I was 15 we could legally leave school, work during school hours (younger kids could work but only after school), drive a car, have a gun licence. 16 was the age of consent, 18 was the age of signing legal contracts and drinking in bars (all children can legally drink alcohol in New Zealand, just not in bars and they can't buy it).
- I remember when we all went to college, I was so ready to launch that it came as a shock to me when some of my friends were homesick and confused.
  That happened to me too. Some of them were living in student accommodation that provided meals and had a curfew. I just couldn't understand why anyone would live like that but I see now it was a sort of 'training wheels' stage for them.

Having a baby. When I became responsible for another human, I really felt like an adult for the first time.

Getting excited about vacuum cleaners. Oh and some nice produce at the local grocery store.

Managing my family's finances after my dad and grandpa passed away
- I had something similar. My mom passed and my dad had no idea how to live without her. His life skills (outside of work) were basically laundry and making toasted tomato sandwiches. Didn't realize how adult I was until I had to teach someone 30 years older than me how to live.
  
  Something similar. After my dad passed away I have had to take care of my mom for regular day to day stuff since dad and grandpa used to do that for the whole family. So I had to figure out myself first how to manage the house and teach mum how to be more independent. She's learnt a lot now and we take care of each other now.

Mostly my job. I'm in healthcare and make life or death decisions on a regular basis. Was 28 when I started and am 32 now. I very regularly have the feeling like "who allowed me to get into this position". And lately, I've started teaching which adds a whole other component.

I'll let you know when I hit that milestone. I still feel like a 13 yo.
- For me it's closer to 16. Like yeah, I can be an adult but I sure don't feel it! Or maybe like a cat. Sure, cats can exist by themselves...but it's better if someone else is feeding them and taking them to a vet occasionally.
  Although recently I looked up who to contact about terrible streetlights, which seems like an adult thing to do.

32 years old and honestly, not sure I do

The moment I realized that no one. Anywhere. Has any idea what they are doing.

I'm a grown ass man but that doesn't make me an adult you... You poopy pants!

Voluntarily turning the heat down to 65 in the winter.
An actor I was instructing in stage combat called me as Combat Dad.
- I recently had a younger coworker who referred to me as her "work dad", and... I'm okay with that.
- Voluntarily turning the heat down to 65 in the winter.
  And why does everyone feel the need to leave every damned light on in the entire house all the time? And don't get me started on walking off with the door wide open. You would think my teenagers middle name was "shutthedoor".

[off topic]
Kurt Vonnegut said that at some point he realized that the people he'd gone to high school with were running the world.
- Oh, to be an octogenarian. Must be nice.
  
  Oh, to be an octogenarian. Must be nice.
  That's my new standard reply to all trolls.
  Also, it reminds me of something Joan Rivers said. She said she knew two kinds of old folks; people she'd known growing up, and people she'd met in show business. The friends and neighbors all wanted to talk about the past, and the show biz people would always be excited about the upcoming shows and concerts. I know what kind I'll try to be.

I started putting mustard in things.
...mostly on food to be specific.
- Mostly‽

I don't know really. I still feel like a student 😂 despite not living with my parents, having a partner, paying my own bills etc.
I still find fun in videogames, riding my bicycle, playing with my RC car etc.. Maybe if/when I have a child of my own something will click?

When no one else took care of me when something went wrong.

When starting to compare prices of food, looking at deals etc...

Moving into my own apartment mainly.
But also: politicians and other celebrities being younger than me.
(I mean of course Justin Bieber is younger than me and has been a celebrity for a long time, but that used to be the exception, now there are so many.)

Maybe after 2 kids? Or around when I got married? It definitely wasn’t before my wife came along. If you ask her, she might say she’s still waiting. I don’t know. I still feel like a kid even though I have a lot of responsibilities and my body says otherwise.
- Fall off the roof when I'm ten and be back up in thirty seconds. Take a step on the staircase the wrong way at 30 and... fffffffuuuuuu
  
  It gets so much worse after 40. I got tennis elbow and I have no idea how. I don’t even play tennis. It took months to heal. I couldn’t even carry a bag of groceries without intense pain. I got plantar fasciitis while jogging. I had to wear special sandals around the house until it finally healed. I tore my rotator cuff tripping and falling in the ocean. It’s just ridiculous how little things can result in injuries. Working out is a totally different experience now. Instead of pushing a little harder it’s about holding back to avoid injury. I can’t see shit anymore. I have to wear bifocals and crank the font size up on all my devices.

The pint of ice cream in my freezer that I take tiny bowlfuls of on occasional evenings. After all, I deserved it.

Weeding the grass and feeling good about it

Crossing the snacks aisle and resisting the temptation to grab shit, like we're legit ass adults and we ain't going out to buy a whole ass cake to eat in a single seating. WHY.
- I bought a ice cream cake on one of my post-30 birthdays. Took a week but I finished it. By the end I definitely regretted it though.

When at every visit, I started having to go through my parents' fridge to replace their expired food.

When I got my very first paycheck and saw the gross pay and the final amount. I had some conflicting feelings.
Another, much earlier moment was in high school. I don't remember the exact event that triggered it anymore, but something bad had happened and the first thing out of my mouth was "It's not my fault". The teacher pulled me aside and told me just because it's not my fault doesn't mean it's not my responsibility.
I think the first experience was the first time I felt like an adult in the moment but the latter was the first time I was treated like an adult in retrospect.

I got really soft mohair socks and a cashmere scarf and it felt better than a new video game which would have cost the same.

I bought pyjamas for the first time in my adult life last week, until now I just used old t-shirts, leggings, joggers etc. My nightwear drawer was where my outdoor clothes go to die. I'm nearly 50.