Peak Maturity
Peak Maturity
24 comments
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"It's me or your video games."
"My video games don't suddenly talk to me so it must be you."
"Correct."
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The same woman has her face buried in TikTok while watching reality shows.
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It's all about moderation, I'd never tolerate being with someone who judges me for doing X activity in a healthy way, but I also wouldn't tolerate someone that's no-lifing 24/7 and letting it affect their health, work, etc.
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When every activity has to have at least one round of games in between for that dopamine hit, and waking up at night for it, coming home at work for it, yeah we have a problem. And in that case, boundaries (which can come across as ultimatums) are entirely appropriate.
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I have always and will continue to choose the "other". If someone gives the "it's me or this other thing" ultimatum I will choose the other thing out of principal even if I don't care for the other thing all that much.
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Padme: "It's either me, or the child murder."
Anakin: "OK. Bye!"
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Hey it worked out for him, I heard he got a cool red sword and everything.
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Not quite peak maturity. Here would be something closer to peak maturity:
While you are obviously more important to me than some silly games, I'm deeply concerned that you'd end our relationship over something so trivial.
I'm afraid this relationship can no longer continue, not because I'm choosing video games over you, but because you've displayed such a lack of respect in giving me this ridiculous ultimatum.I'm interested in talking about this with you and hearing your concerns. I do not believe my video gaming is negatively affecting my life, nor is it causing me to skip my life responsibilities as an adult. I believe I am an equal partner in bringing in income, performing housework, and being an available and attentive partner to you. In the times when I'm not doing those things, yes, I enjoy playing video games just like I support you spending hours listening to "true crime" podcasts, documentaries, and books because I know that is something you enjoy.The time I spend on video games is a small fraction of my waking hours and, I believe, long after I've taken care of all my responsibilities. However, I fully acknowledge I could be in the wrong with my assessment and am very interested in your viewpoint if you feel I'm falling short physically or emotionally in our relationship because of video games. Can you describe how you are seeing video games are negatively affecting me, and our relationship? I promise to hear your words and truly consider them, not simply dismiss them defensively. I do that because I care about your opinion and I love you. However, this doesn't mean I'll automatically agree with you and drop video games. We are in a long term committed relationship. We know we're going to have some speed bumps along the way, but we want this relationship to work and that means communication with one another. Lets work this out together and go over what you're seeing.
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Brilliant.
For those not in the know, not only is this an eloquent example of sensitivity, open communication, and not overreaction, but it's something much more important. This dialogue will effectively gauge the other party's communication skills, emotional self-awareness, and willingness to negotiate. What follows will tell you volumes about what kind of relationship you're actually in, and where to go from there.
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Nah.
If you still think ultimatums work, I'm uninterested in a relationship with you.
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You're fully within your rights to choose your relationships, but I'd argue your immediate and absolute binary reaction here is showing a lack of maturity on your part, which was the point of the post. Lacking maturity isn't a crime, and hopefully in life, we continue to mature as we get older.
You're saying this is an ultimatum, but you never question whether the man in the scenario does actually have a problem that could be harming the relationship. You're taking the position that if your mate, in a loving relationship, challenges you at a point of desperation for your bad behavior that she may use this language to try and get your attention because nothing else does. She could be reaching out at one last attempt to save the relationship and give you an opportunity to action for the health of the relationship. You're allowing for no introspection on your part. That's showing some more maturity is possible on your way to "peak maturity".
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It's you in my video games. You can leave but the mods are forever.
24 comments
My first time in this community, I thought it was some sort of support group at first lol.
I gotta say, I'm lucky. My wife loves that I'm playing games in my free time. She feels comfortable knowing I'm with the boys and not at some bar getting hammered and hit on, not sure I'd be doing that anyway, but whatever makes her happy, you know?
I feel ya. My wife loves it when I play video games. She finds it comforting. Normally she's either on her phone or in another room doing something. She recently told me that she likes it because she enjoys the art and music and style of the game, Silksong. She would get too pissed off and never be able to enjoy it because of the difficulty.
My wife loves watching me game too! She only plays chill games like stardew Valley and the likes. I'm trying to get her to play the mass effect series, I wanna see what choices she makes!