Hello there . . .
Hello there . . .
My best friend (allegedly) that I shifted my entire life to move half way across the country with suddenly decided they didn't want to be friends anymore and peaced out back to whence they came. There are plenty of failures and miscommunications on both sides of the fence, but at the end of day I'm now stuck alone in a new state with no money, no sense of community, a shit job, and nobody to share anything with. I'm confused as hell, tired as shit, and depressed as fuck with no idea what to do, but anyway here is my lame ass attempt to change all that by talking to strangers on the internet the way humans were evolutionarily designed to.
Soo, hello, I guess . . . not really sure what do now.
Ooh, I started watching Orphan Black the other day and I gotta wonder how they found so many actors that look alike, wait no that's an old show.
Uhm, I really like anything related to space, astronomy, sci . . . (shush, people will think you touched the Tylenol)
What about this weather we've been having lately, something about a little ice and human rights? They keep talking about releasing some kind of files, but idk, they seem a little shy about the whole thing. (I know this lies a little out of the jurisdiction of 'casual', I'm just trying to fill the space with empty words at this point so my ghost of an english teacher grandmother doesn't re-traumatize me from the grave like some kind of angry, judgemental harpy, or maybe I'm possibly just avoiding actually submitting the post at this point by typing a really ridiculously long run on sentence like a highschooler discovering chatGPT for the first time that I'm genuinely surprised your still reading with your one and/or two eyeholes, earballs, or fingers, like seriously I'm not saying anything useful or interesting anymore I'm just sitting typing away trying to think of something funny to say like maybe some kind of joke or something but I can't think of any except maybe this one about a couple nuns riding bikes on the road to Rome)
Wait, actual question. I have celiac and cant eat the forbidden bread, any of yall have any good ideas for packable lunches that don't include sandwiches or anything that has extreme refrigeration/ heating requirements? ADHD brain is running out of ideas and I have a sneaking suspicion that tuna packets make me look poor.
Who cares if other people think you look poor? The kind of people who would judge that kind of thing aren't worth having in your life anyway.
I've been struggling with depression a long time, too, and I am similarly somewhere I don't really want to be without a lot of folks to talk to on any kind of regular basis, so I sort of get it. It gets tiring being cooped up inside your own head. That's why I shitpost here on Lemmy a fair deal. It's something to pass the time and I've met a few genuinely kind-hearted and thoughtful people.
Filling the space with words is fine. Sometimes it's all we can do when we're filled to the brim with different ideas but no one to express them to and don't know where to start and it's all just spilling over and out because we simply can't contain it in any rational way anymore.
I enjoyed the new Alien: Earth series, it's good if you don't have super high expectations to start. I also appreciated the new season of The Amazing World of Gumball (now renamed The Wonderfully Weird World of Gumball). Smiling Friends starts it's third season this Sunday. I also enjoy really bad movies that are so bad that they start being good again, but there haven't been many new ones of that variety lately.
I used to enjoy so many things, and now I just feel... listless a lot of the time. Unless I have a specific project I am working on, it feels like I can't truly find it in myself to enjoy television or films or games. I just sot of ingest them to pass the time. Sometimes I find myself crying at really stupid things just because I'm lonely. It all just feels sort of tedious and I'm not sure how to get past that. I just want to be able to let go and enjoy things again. It's hard to do when you spend most of your time alone and feel like you can't connect with the people around you when you aren't alone.
If you don't mind me asking what state did you end up in?
Sorry for slow reply, your comment warranted more of a response than my work schedule would allow. I was mostly joking, I know I'm a poor bitch and I'm proud of it (though I wouldn't mind having a least a couple more $).
It's not so much that I get tired living in my own mind, its more just incredibly frustrating having no option to share anything even if I want/ need to. I'm also realizing that I just can't see my own negative patterns and errors starting before it's too late without someone else physically in my space saying "hey dumbass, your doing it again".
It was getting late and I was tiredly losing my marbles one by one, mostly hoping someone would get a chuckle or two. But I hadn't considered what I was really doing from that perspective, might have sit with that one a while, thanks a lot.
I'd like to give Alien: Earth a shot, kinda waiting for my parents to rotate around to the next streaming service, lol. I am required by sacred law to wait for my friend to watch the next season of The Wonderfully Amazing Weird World of Gumball. I too enjoy the bad-bad-good movies, but I feel like nothing has qualified for a while. Last new thing I watched was Superman, but that was just straight up good-good.
This is this the part that got me. It's been years since I last remember feeling any lasting joy or excitement. I know intellectually a big part of it is the depression robbing my memories, but its still hard to fight the apathetic panic of watching my personal hard-drive become corrupted. A big reason for moving was actually because we were both needing a way to get the gears moving on life again, and it worked for a while, but maybe it was just because I had a goal to focus on and someone else to be responsible for. Now that I've nothing other than myself to worry about, it is harder than ever to give a fuck about anything. I almost had the front end of my car deleted the other day and my only reaction was to instinctively hit the brakes before the other driver remembered that situational awareness is a prerequisite skill to driving. It took a solid 20 minutes to even register that any emotions would have been highly appropriate in that situation, and by that point the entire event was about as interesting as an OSHA training video. They say if we just go to therapy and make new friends that we will get better, but that just feels like hollow advice without some tangible way to achieve these things.
We (I) moved from southern California to the middle of Oregon. On paper, this place check all my boxes, but so far nothing has really turned out as I expected.
That's totally a thing, right? Sometimes songs make me choke up because I'm not even used to emotions other than varying levels of annoyance and anger.
I do shitpost to add some interaction with others outside my immediate family to my life, but I have to admit it's generally pretty hollow. I miss having folks I could relate to and do things with in person. I wouldn't say I'm depressed. Having a wife and kids gives me some sort of baseline human interaction. But man do I miss tabletop RPGs and staring up at the night sky and philosophizing with a fellow nerd.
It's kinda self-inflicted. I moved 800 miles for five years before coming back home. I didn't make any friends there, really, other than one I tend to chat with on either of our birthdays. Then I came back home and all my friendships here had dissolved as well. It's been ten years at this point since I've had a friend I saw more than annually.
I want to watch Alien: Earth and Peacemaker, but I haven't. I mostly spent my time playing old video games for hundreds or thousands of hours.
I did watch Velocipastor last week with my daughter. It was fun for about 20 minutes and then I started staring at my watch waiting for it to be over. The ultra low budget and terrible acting gave way to utter nonsense writing. It was all clearly tongue in cheek but it was probably funnier to make than to watch. Might've been more fun with a bigger crowd and more focus on eating snacks and bullshitting than staring at the screen.
Anyway.... cool, bye.