I'm not going to lie... Im dealing with an almost 4yo whose favorite word is "No", the slightest inconvenience (real or imagined) results in a full blown meltdown and when I get frustrated my wife keeps acting like I'm being the unreasonable one because I'm sick of my daughter going full blown "WHY GOD!?! WHYYYYYY!?! YOU BASTARD!!!" Because I told her she can have ice cream after dinner, not before.
I really struggle with those cases too. If I flat out tell my kid "No" and he gets upset? That makes perfect sense to me. But so often now he's having a meltdown and I am literally saying, "Why are you crying? You will get everything you want if we just finish this thing first!
Got drunk and tried to teach the 3 and 4 year old how to write their names. 4 year old really struggled which frustrated me so I started screaming at him calling him an idiot.