If you suddenly had "fuck you" money what would be the first thing you did?

Tell my wife I now have "fuck you money", and then fuck her lots because she could quit her shitty stressful job and have energy again.

I would buy as much land as I could. Build myself a reasonable house and a load of barns. I have always wanted to run a farm animal sanctuary that takes in abused and unwanted farm friends. Then I would spend the rest of my days laughing at goats and cows and chickens being derpy. That and maybe take a nice vacation to the beach once in a while.

Buy a nice home, upgrade it to my liking (CAT6 to all parts of it, solar panels/energy storage/network cabinet/make it watertight and safe for the next 50 years), buy a shitty looking van with a petrol powered pressure washer and indemnity insurance and spend my spare time going around cleaning paths and monuments etc. in my local area.

Order a pizza, don't want to make big decisions on an empty stomach

2 chicks at the same time

I probably wouldn't quit my job because I like it. I probably wouldn't even tell many people I had that much money. My only debt is my mortgage so that would be gone. I'd probably buy a better house with an actual yard. Sell this house to my roommate for dirt cheap. (There's no way he'd just take it)

Probably do some lying that my brother won some kind of raffle and give him a bunch of racecar parts. Shit maybe even sponsor a race team or two, gotta get the young kids back in the sport as all the old guys retire.

I'd probably buy some land in another area, give myself a vacation house. But this wouldn't be immediate. Probably get a new car, mines pretty old. Build a greenhouse on my new property, have way too many rescue animals. Maybe even run a small rescue.

All this is assuming I've already set myself up for retirement and I'm good to go with everything else.

Not tell anyone and see how little work I can do at work before they fire me. I bet I could even get promoted.

Not sure how much money that is, but I would start a "quiet landscaping" company that used reel mowers instead of gas mowers, rakes instead of leaf blowers, and I would undercut every landscaping company in my town just to promote the idea of a quiet neighborhood.

I'd do what Mark Cuban did with his Cost Plus Drug Company, which sells everything on it at cost + 15%, but for other essential products as well. I'd open up all types of stores that sell necessities - petrol, groceries, medication, plants, technology items, books, etc - at cost + whatever the lowest margin mark up I could get away with. The goal would be to drive prices down everywhere, not just at my stores. I'd also spend big on lobbying/campaigning for better legislation and regulation around essential goods and services.

Low cost public housing would be another area. Buying up land to build low cost housing estates with all the facilities and amenities needed.

Obviously it goes without saying I'd set up everyone of my family and close friends for life too.

Start a housing coop and community land trust to keep housing in the hands of people that need it. Rapid public transport for the housing coop for work, groceries, etc. Buy the old tracks and turn them into intercity people carries.

Buy the land from friends and family to pay off their debts and give it to the community land trust.

Start a community coop grocery store, pharmacy, clinic, etc.

Start a community electric coop focused on being a microgrid first and connection the national grid second.

Start a community fiber and wireless ISP coop, and fighting tool and nail to end the current ISPs state monpoly on shitty expensive service.

Try and create guerenteed minimums for both so no one has to disconnect because the money istoo tight.

Massive underground dwelling. Not sure why, but that was my first thought.

I would try to ease the life of everyone around me.

Buy off all the politicians and have them implement policies that will benefit the working class. Invest heavily in renewable energy sources and public transportation. Buy all the comic books.

Depends on the amount. If it's millions or double digits billions - just live life safely while providing for myself, family and friends. If trillions or close to one trillion - heavy investments, heavy usage, adaption and implementation of the plans to end hunger globally that were proposed to Muskrat by UN, development of similar plans to end homelessness, addiction. Immediate global warming countermeasures. Influence political agendas of countries towards implementing socially beneficial policies like UBI, robotization of manual labor. Basically taking off the burden off of working class and humans as a whole.

I'l tell you what I'd do, man: two chicks at the same time.

Pretty sure quitting your job would be the first thing most people would do.

But next up? Booking tickets to Japan to eat and drink my way through the country for a few months.

I've had on my mind for some months to create a company to build "the perfect phone"

Repairable, big swappable battery, headphone jack, pogo pins for modular extensions, rootable easily and open sourcing a maximum of it.

Hire someone to manage my money.

"Two chicks at the same time." - Lawrence

build an offgrid house

I'd pay off all my debts, put away enough to be able to quit my job without losing any income, and give the rest away. I already have everything I want and need, the move now is to get rid of shit I don't want.

Destroying medicine price in USA, by sellingi nsulin and other important medicines at affordable price. In my country, Insulin for pets which isn't subsidized by the government is far cheaper than insulin for human in USA.

I'll start a non-profit company that does proper R&D and makes smart devices that's totally open source ground up from hardware and software maybe DIY 3D printable, communicating over an open protocol (matter probably) and managed by an open system/assistant, and extend it to an open self hostable ecosystem of everything AND make sure it's plug and play usable for every end user with installation service whenever necessary and other. And make it sustainable. It can only be done with "fuck you" money and never let VCs anywhere near.

Work on finding a way to sustainably help the most people.

I'd pay off all of my family's debt and secure them financially for life. Then I'd start a truly universal housing project in my city and state.

Assuming "fuck you" money is along the lines of being able to give away money without feeling a hit, I think it would be very interesting to use the money to donate to small open source projects to help them grow and expand with new features and resources.

Buy a delorean, eat sushi everyday, and give my wife whatever she wants because she's my angel and I love her.

Relentlessly lobby for right to repair.

Pay off my mortgage. And those of my siblings. Boring, but it's what I'd do first...

Have a nap. Phone off, door locked, for as long as I want level nap.

Set up a program for kids to get school supplies and lunch money, and also for them to get some gear for playing games (e.g. a "good enough to play most games" PC or a console)

This could also extend to hobbies in the arts like digital design software, paint supplies, instruments, you name it

As a kid I wished so much that something like this was accessible to me

Oh and also buy out adobe and make it's subscriptions one-time payments again lol

Buy large property, create an anarchist commune, build Earthships and similar housing out of sustainable recycled material, setup public gathering spaces, spa areas, perhaps stuff like rooms for artists, musicians, workshops, etc. Grow weed, shrooms and veggies, have some animals living in relative freedom and perfect health.

Ensure everything is weather proof based on location's projected future climate, build water/heating/energy infrastructure (solar, wind), offer each building as rent-to-buy, keep growing the community and make sure to plan for the day the government gets scared and sends in their death squads.

Basically something like Kristiania in Copenhagen but bigger and more focused on sustainability and land mass, so probably outside of major cities.

Addendum: Would be a good idea to make it impossible to have this grown into an insane religious cult though. 🌚

Buy a full tank of gas.

The very first thing? Quit work and drag the family for a long trip first to Japan, and then to Iceland.

After then, the important stuff. Start an IT school somewhere in West Africa, maybe an IT service provider. And while I'm at it, build a race track and try and build up a racing community. Preferably with local-built electrical vehicles.

Invest most of it to create retirement, medical, and educational funds later in life. My family worked hard to put us siblings through school. I intend to pay if back if possible.

It's definitely a tie between buying and remodeling a house in the city I live in (probably in one of the nicer areas in town but definitely not the nicest because I don't want to deal with stuck up prick neighbors who'd think they're better than me) and just going on an art commission spree of getting a red sheet for my fursona and then getting a very high quality partial fursuit and clothes to match his style.

Buy Twitter back and ban Elmo

Doesn’t matter because you’d never hear from me again.

Probably find a good lawyer.

A. Build affordable housing and help some people I know escape the poverty we're all fucking stuck in.

Or

B. Targeted attacks on billionaire industries and assets: a campaign of anti-greed terrorism. Sunk yachts, destroyed offices, and offshore resort hidey holes burned to the ground until I'm out of resources.

I'd buy a house. Not something huge, but decently sized riverfront property.

Not sure what "fuck you" money is, but if it can buy me a decent gaming laptop, I'd use it immediately.

I'd try to start a racing career. Always wanted to since I was a kid but it's always been out of my reach.

Arrange my finances so that I can live an upper middle class life in a passive income. Give away the rest to charities that improve society (education, orgs that promote walkable cities etc. This would also include setting up small recurring donations to Wikipedia, Lemmy and other donation driven institutions).

A house or nice apartment.

Then I’d buy a private train to boast among the other rich people how much more climate friendly that is… pretty sure Davos has a train station, right?

Buy a house, start my reptile projects, throw extras at the fediverse, the fediverse succeeding is very important long-term.

Quit my job.

Quit work and start a new hobby to spend serious time in. Not sure what that would be.

Buy all banks then burn them to the ground

Buy me an oil rig and open a hacker space there. Pretty obvious choice no?

Pay off my mom's house and get it completely renovated, included hooking it up to the sewer line and completely redoing the foundation. I'd also add a second story with a balcony facing the direction of the ocean.

Pay my parents retirement.

Hire a permanent live-in nanny so wife and I could sleep soundly and stress less.

That’s first, the rest I would take time and decide and tell no one except the wife

Tax fraud

Leave my job & go and see the world. Possibly by finishing off my sailing quals & buying a luxury catamaran or trimaran.

I'd buy myself a few mercenary armies and state armies as well as weapon manufacturers and just stop selling weapons and waging war. These people probably have skills as drivers or watchmakers, so Glock would start making watches and Wagner would be a chauffeur service.

I'll probably still have a division special force to take guns away from everyone in the world but police force in Democratic governments. As soon as they fulfilled their purpose, they'd have to hand in their guns to the local police.

My hypothesis is that every person with a gun is willing to part from it for the right price. And the others just have to go, I guess.

I would buy the best health insurance. Whatever the 1% are using. Super Platinum Cadillac Gold Insurance. I would get my loved ones the best medical care in the world. I could fly them private to see specialists, I could afford 5000$ a month experimental drugs, I could extend their lives and the qaulity of said life.

probably spend it on a bunch of landscaping for my parents yard to turn it into a "no lawn" (I fking hate mowing the lawn)

Dump all of it into researching how to grow tardigrades larger, until they are big enough to take down a fully grown man. Then build up an army of them and unleash them on the world.

With my tardigrade army giving me complete control over the world, I will begin enacting my ultimate goal:

Making that bitch Sarah pay for making fun of me in primary school.

"Fuck you" Sarah.

Disappear and become someone else.

Buy some politicians to get some positive shit done.

Buy a nice reasonably big house, set money aside for my kid, buy a new car, help people close to me. In this order.

Fuck you

Pay off the debt of everyone in my family

Not sure exactly how much money that constitutes, but assuming I somehow inherited a reasonably large sum of money, do mostly the same thing I am doing now.

Pay immediate cost of living expenses for myself and my partner. I don't have any expensive hobbies that I would need much more. I don't make a ton of money right now, yet it's still more than I can reasonably spend. After rent and food, like half my paycheque goes into the bank already. I am lucky to live in a country where I don't have to worry about an unexpected medical condition costing me millions.

The remaining would go towards charities/local political groups I am involved in. While not without precedence, it would be a strange look to be a stupidly wealthy socialist, and again the money would have no real use to me and would be better served elsewhere.

Fire Fest 2

I would build myself a mansion like the Le château de Moulinsart in Tintin.

pay my debts, a full medical workup, some minor dentistry, then invest wisely after getting some financial advice from a professional advisor because I don’t really know what I’m doing.

Buy a house I like better. Get some large windows, better insulation throughout the house, some small degree of soundproofing between first and second floor, and pay for some serious landscaping in our yard.

Pay someone to organize all my stuff and buy the proper closets, boxes, etc everything. And bring my mom to where I live and give her a better life.

There are a number of people I would need to say “fuck you “ to

I'd pay my debts first and then travel.

Buy a gaming PC and a VR headset, and then put all the money in investments and quit my job.

Relax.

Buy a bowling center.

First thing I would do? Without question a year-long holiday. I haven't had more than a few days off at a time for over five years.

I’d buy the condo my wife and I are renting. We really love it and the owner wants to sell it, but our monthly payment would almost triple.

Id also get a modest car, like a Corolla and a house in the countryside.

I guess this is not too wild, so I guess I’d also by a server rack to selfhost random stuff.

Reminds me of a quote from the TV Show Billions.

“What’s the point of having ‘fuck you’ money, if you never say fuck you?”

• Bobby Axelrod, Billions.

However to your question, live life the way I want. Simple as that.

Pay the new car I just signed for, buy a teardrop trailer and go camping out in Europe.

That's a trick question. After the end of civilization as we know it, no amount of money will do anyone any good, and that end seems imminent. There will be no such thing as “fuck you” money; there will only be “might makes right”, and I am far from mighty.

Pay everyone in my building several years' expected pay to quit all at once, except for one specific manager that everybody hates.

I’ll pay all my debts and that of my parents and then start a new life in Hawaii

Besides debt and housing I would just take my partner on a lot of trips and buy her a lot of gifts. It’s been a rough few years health-wise for her and it would be great to treat her.

Finish the home remodel. Then try to find the best approach to handle riches I guess. Taking care of the kids, getting them towards an exiting life. Support my wife with her entrepreneurial dreams. Make sure my mom is well.

I'd probably just fuck myself.

Pay my parents retirement.

Go back to school start taking classes that actually interests me, instead of for a stable job.

Quit my job and move out to the country on a big plot of land. If any of my family wanted to join me, I'd build them a house too.

I'd buy an old Land Rover series 2 or old Land Cruiser and drive around the high desert looking for shiny rocks.

Build my dream house with an architect. After that I would probably travel the world with friends and family.

Permanently Deleted

I would:

• Buy a FU environment Car, and use 100% of the speedometer because I paid for it.
• Buy a FU sized house, and fill it full of ballpit balls, cocaine and hookers.
• Buy a FU size music venue, pay U2 to play at the venue, give free entry to everyone and arm them all with 4 cartons of eggs each.
• Throw a massive FU party on the biggest ocean cruiser, invite only the top 10% of richest people. Then scuttle the thing.

Do I have any money left?

• 50% goes to developing Australia.
• 25% goes to the Linux foundation.
• 20% goes to whoever is still alive in my family.
• 5% goes to lizards on the internet, because frankly, the cats are getting too much attention and they are wayyy overrated.