What are some small things we should change about the human body?

Redesign the spine for vertical use. Don't put the eating and breathing tubes on either side of the same flap.

Ability to regrow lost teeth

Body hair is now opt-in

Ability to go to sleep when sleep should be gone to.

RFC, pull request to add git.

Reasoning: Having a built-in versioning system would allow humans to rollback roll back undesirable changes and advancements could be made more easily

please comment or downvote if this is a bad idea

Let's put a cap on how much excess energy the body can store as fat. Sure, some amount is fine and has a number of uses, but just let me poop some excess calories out. I'd only need more if I were to hibernate.

Thinking on it, I want to hibernate too, please.

While we're at it from animals, how about upping some of our regeneration? Teeth don't regrow? Naw, constant regen please. I get too big of a cut and I get a scar? Let's let everything regrow from being lost if you can survive without it. Also why doesn't the brain heal? Most important part of the body and each crack's there for life. Let me get my serotonin back already, slacker.

Also what's with this getting assigned a gender thing? You don't even get to know what it means before you have one! And then we build society as if this coin flip was the seed to the tree of life. Let people choose and switch naturally, please and thank you.

Just one universal blood type please

No more biting down on my tongue or cheeks when eating. Most annoying glitch ever.

Hair and nails not constantly growing

Your body not over reacting to things (allergies and auto immune)

• Separate holes for eating and breathing
• Separate sewage system from entertainment complex
• Remove mental health disorders
• Improved empathy

The spine

FIX THE SPINE

Being able to shoot lasers from my tits would be cool.

The breathing hole and the eating hole are separated

No more cancer please.

We should not get our adult teeth at 7 then no more ever. We need at least one more set.

I don't think balding is useful, agree that could go.

Fertility should be manageable without using all the devices, hormones, etc. Like it should be a positive choice not a default state we have to harm ourselves to avoid. And I don't think we need menopause either. Just turn on fertility only to get pregnant.

(ETA- I also think sexually transmitted diseases should not exist at all, they seem like religious fundamentalist biological warfare, but not sure what change in a human body could accomplish this and leave the pleasure intact. )

Add more holes to the body.

Very short mating season. The amount of people is too god damned high.

Fix our spine and knees

Kidney stones, gallstones, whatever the fuck the body does of "Lets build a rock inside the body that can fuck us up" needs to stop.

(+) baby pouch, like marsupials'
(+) limbs regrowth capacity, like salamanders'

Manual/deliberate sperm/egg production.

Manual/deliberate control over fat creation and storage.

Appetite is 100% linked to calories needed. You still enjoy food, but the moment you swallow enough calories for whatever you did since the last time you ate, you have zero appetite and anything put in front of you loses all appeal.

Terrible for survival situations, great for modern life where an abundance of food is a bigger problem than a scarcity.

The ability not to pee myself every time I sneeze, run or jump after giving birth vaginally would be pretty nice. Even without doing any physical therapy.

I have one: ingrown nails and nail infections can go fuck themselves.

I have had FIVE consecutive toe infections in the last 18 months or so. I'm so done with it lol.

But on a broader scale, some people die or lose limbs from stuff like this, so it'd be nice if that didn't happen anymore.

Better foreign body-own body recognition by immune system. No more auto-immune, no allergies, MS, Lupus.

Micro-organisms taking a shit on our teeth doesn't cause cavities.

No more accidentally biting my tongue or the inside of my cheek while eating. Sometimes I'm just excited for some good food and it just gets completely ruined :(

Appendix not coming from the factory is a big one. A slightly better immune system that can get through the blood/brain barrier and kill rabies/amoebas, and other brain infections like TB (without shredding brain tissue) too. If a virus like rabies gets past that barrier, you are 1 0 0 % B O N E D as your immune system is largely locked out.

Wider uterus/vagina too. Human babies have massive heads that don't fit through too well. It's like an orange on a toothpick. Making a smaller baby could be a possibility, but survivability would potentially go down.

For very tall people: a larger and stronger heart organ. A second one acting like a smaller turbo would also help. Heh. Failover cluster hearts. You'd probably have to have stronger veins and tissues as a result though.

No more fucking hemorrhoids!

A lot of great ideas here, but also sinus are such a terrible design. Please no more sinuses.

Definetly periods, stupid design and incredibly rare in mamals anyway.

Also, a change of our metabolism, our current way to deal with excess energy is outdated. And maybe make us resistant to cancers, that shit sucks.

I don't care about balding (and I have been since 20s). Just a healthy body reset every decade or two/whenever necessary. Get the metabolic rate up, clean up all the junk from the environment that has polluted the DNA and reduced the telomere lengths (whatever the correlation/causation there). Just a "take the body to the shop" type of repair possible. A chance to live for centuries.

Ability to regrow lost teeth and no more wisdom teeth.

shoulder-mounted laser guns

Body hair should have multiple sliders like a video game avatar. Wanna be furry all over like a Persian cat or a poodle? No problem. Want to be smooth as a dolphin? Also no problem.

Everyone has perfect mechanical health always.

Pelvises that can accommodate both upright walking AND the size of human brains without, you know, killing the humans during birth.

being a hermaphrodite would be pretty dope

Balls should be behind a thick bone. Essentially not so temperature dependant to facilitate this.

Back to monke

replaceable parts, clorophyll, and maybe double jumps

5v USB charging port.

Iirc there are some reptiles with two sets of eyelids on each eye, the inner one being transparent, so they can close just the one while under water or in like dusty/windy conditions, but still be able to see.

Humans need in on that action.

Endogenous vitamin d(3) production regardless of light exposure and vit c production

I'm pretty sure the major things that need to change are in the brain. Predeliction for violence and hate, addiction to controversy and toxins, and whatever makes people stupid enough to support facists.

Optimised learning throughout our entire life. Better focus and improved memory to take in knowledge more effectively

Suggestion: Each comment should be reposted to !monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz , or that community should be invited to respond here...

Deactivate-able hair follicles

Like chromatophores so you can have hair where you want and not where you don't. Maybe it just takes a long time to transition 🤔

we need more micro-plastics in us

Just make us all shape shifters so we can do whatever we want.

Reduce max fingernail length pls

Our bodies need some trace metals, problem is it can't differentiate between metals it needs and metals that will kill it. "Hell yeah, delicious zinc" as it noms down on lead instead of pooping it out.

• avian lungs and eyes
• salamander healing
• shark immune system
• proper joints for knees and elbows.
• feline hearing
• endless new teeth.
• turtle like aging
• low fertility

The ability to breathe underwater - or if that is too much of an upgrade to ask for, the ability to hold your breath for much longer periods of time so that we could spend significant time underwater.

Especially seeing as the planet's surface is over two thirds water!

Boobs just stay full and up, despite aging, breastfeeding, etc. if we are going to have periods, at least make them painless. Cells just shut down cancer every single time it starts, making it obsolete. You wouldn’t get out of breath at the top of a staircase/big hill if there’s anyone nearby.

I'd add a tail.

No age related ball sag.

Choose your puberty

Penis size, premature ejaculation, long male refractory period, and ED.

Wait that's not all guys? /s

Improve the birthing process so you don't have to rotate just to fit on the way out. Either make babies smaller or vaginas bigger (in which case penises would have to compensate I guess)

Can I also get no aging, no unwanted body hair and flawless health?

Complete body function control. Like no more emergency shits, you can time the bowel movements and just go once every 36 hours.

Also the reservoir guys have when we stand up pissing. How bout we don't have 20ml piss left in the urethra when we retract the penis?

Let me just say that if God was a city planner, he would not put a playground next to a sewage system

No nearsightedness/farsightedness

No arched noses

Everyone can breathe through their noses silently

No pectus carinatum/excavatum

Digestive tract hits limit on sugar digested and rejects the rest

No loosening of sensitive hair follicles; make every scalp hair difficult to remove/fall out

I feel like I've already shit enough in my life.

Change that double helix into a quadruple one for extra redundancy, making it harder for it to gain irreparable damage. Also, make it a loop rather than a straight line so the ends don't get shorter with each replication. And remove that dementia bug that has a greater chance of showing up the longer run time is

Baby teeth last longer. What's this bullshit about your first set of teeth lasts 5 to 10 years, then you're supposed to make it 60+ on the only other set you get? I'd make baby teeth last about 20 years.

Stop aging at 20

The ability to turn off some senses temporarily

better concentration and more logical thinking.

i hate how i put people into boxes all the time.

plus make them lie for personal gain less.

Would complete immunity to radiation be a small change?

Would it actually be detrimental in the long run?

Pros: No more cancer

Cons: No more natural evolution

Make a full night's sleep like 4 hours or something. As long as our corporate overlords don't take advantage and make it a 12 hour workday.

Better repairing, see Deadpool. Cancer, missing limbs, teeth, w/e.

I'd like extra thumbs please

I'd like to make bodily functions a bit less gross.

Maybe body odor could be an opt-in? For, like, sexy times between men who like that kind of thing...

A utility panel with usb ports, hard reset button, xd card slot, s-video port, etc, could be very useful.

Maybe installed on a butt cheek or back of a calf?

In all seriousness, a spinal realignment feature. Something that resets the joints & muscles in your back to factory default.

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Dual opposable thumbs, now we can grab and open the water bottle with one hand!

If the body couls generate muscle without needing to excersize first that'd be cool. But I guess that's why steroids were invented and those have some side effects

Just make it repair as well as the "immortal" animals out there (they can obviously die of accidents or diseases but not of old age).

A button on the side of your neck for on-demand orgasms.

being a dragon would be pretty dope

No body hair!

Add ability to see what color magenta actually is.

dual redundancy for every organ, and the ability for a damaged or removed organ to grow back.

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chef's kiss perfect list.

Remove taste buds. Whole species have been threatened due to that.

god has left the chat

Periods. Fuck periods. There has to be a better way.

I want a cancer ray for people I don't like

Poop out the front and only when feeling sad about the future