1y ago

Doing the important work

180 comments

Learn to wrap your burritos you suckface food noob.
- So, skill issue?
  
  100%. I've never had this happen to me. It's not even really that hard to get the hang of wrapping a burrito.
  
  iD-10-T error
  
  Microwave or pan fry the tortilla until soft and malleable.
- are you gatekeeping burritos 😳
  
  YES
  
  If it unwraps when you aren't holding it, is it really a burrito?
- suckface food noob
  That is a Shakespearian level insult.
  
  I am quite eloquent.

This is only a problem if you can't roll a burrito...
- and for the gluttons who overstuff their burritos so they're difficult to keep closed.
  
  Guilty. It's not about the amount I want to eat, it's about reaching my ideal burrito/stuffing ratio.
- It's more a problem of the quality of the tortilla in my experience. With a halfway decent tortilla, I have no problems. Some grocery store tortillas are too stiff and don't stick to themselves in the slightest. You can masterfully roll them, but the moment your grip loosens, it all turns to chaos.
  
  Yeah you have to heat up the shell a little. Even the barrel-scraping Target store brand burritos can work if you steam/nuke them the right amount.
  The amount of cracking in that pic indicates they took that shell right out of the fridge and rolled.
- Tell that to every Mexican joint nearby that stuffs their burritos so full the moment you fork into it they explode in a overly soapy mess from all the cilantro.
  
  Who cares if a fork tier burrito stays closed or not? It’s already on a plate.
  The entire thread conversation is clearly not about plated burritos.
  
  Well, if you were eating it with a fork anyway the I don't see the problem... A lot of Mexican places (as opposed to Tex Mex) will also pou salsa or queso or something over the burrito, which then obviously requires a fork, but it's also different from the burrito pictured.
  And you know you can just ask them not to put any cilantro on? It's a garnish that typically isn't added until the very end and a lot of people can't stand the stuff, they probably won't mind leaving it off
- So do you use a fork or a spoon?
  
  Neither? The whole point of a burrito, at least one of these style of burrito that isn't swimming in some kind of sauce, is that it holds together well enough that you can eat it while holding it in your hand without making a mess. If it's poorly wrapped then yeah it'll come apart and you might want a plate and flatware to finish the job.

When someone says their burritos won't stay shut I immediately know that they don't know what they're doing.
- I bought a master lock for my burrito, it can be opened with another burrito.
  
  This is the burrito picking lawyer and what I have for you today is delicious!
  
  I've picked like 10 locks since Christmas. Lpl and McNally have created a menace.

Is this a common problem? I've almost never had a burrito fall apart on me unless it outright rips--I once made the mistake of ordering a burrito in Scotland, and that was pretty formless, but it was also less a burrito and more an embarrassment hiding under an ill-fitting tortilla.
- My general rule of thumb is that I don’t eat Mexican food in places where there aren’t many Mexican people.
  
  Yup, made that mistake once while living in Vermont many years ago. As someone who grew up in socal, it was brutal.
  
  That's easy for you to say, but some of us like burritos and live in Europe!
  And yes, you CAN get good Mexican food here. Nowhere near as good as in the US near the border, of course, but MUCH better than in the worst US places for it like idunno, North Carolina or Alaska or some such 🤷
  
  I bet you didn’t know the burrito was invented in America.
  
  Mission style burritos aren't particularly Mexican, though. But they also shouldn't be particularly hard to eat.
- I know next to nothing about Hispanic food in general, but I've gotten a few food truck burritos in southern California and it opening was not on my list of concerns.
- For me, I tend to overstuff my burrito innards. As a result, I’m not able to fold in the ends over the heaping pile of innards so this tape would actually help me get that coveted wrap action without making me address my lack of self control.
  
  bro just use two overlapping tortillas for a larger burrito

Pan-sear your burritos shut.
- He will help c:
- If you are still having a hard time, a thin layer of cheese to form a crust seal never fails
  
  At work we just lick one edge of the tortilla like an envelope before we serve it
  
  Cheese in the seam or cheese in pan and burrito on top?
- Now you have a chimmichanga.

I like to crisp up my burrito in a pan after I roll it. if you brown the side with the opening first then the juices trying to escape soften up the tortilla enough to get cooked together. It's like welding a burrito shut.
- I use a dash of cheese in the flap and then I throw it on the griddle
- Sounds like a great idea.
- That's no longer a burrito. That's a chimmichanga.
  
  Chimichangas are deep fried
  Were just talking about a quick sear to seal the burrito shut
  
  This is in a dry pan, so no oil. A toasted sandwich is still a sandwich. Putting your burrito in a hot pan/griddle does not change it being a burrito

Wouldn't your hand work really well to keep the burrito closed while you're eating it?
- But that's like a two-hand job now, and I've got this drink.
  
  Two hand jobs and a drink? Sounds like you don't mind making a mess.

Why not use a small piece of Nori (the salty Sushi seaweed) and moisten it up with water and use that?
I did this for years
- Because I have opposable thumbs and have successfully eaten thousands of burritos without tape.
- I like Nori, but that's a whole different flavour profile to most burritos
- That's what this looks like
- You're telling me this ain't nori? Why.
  
  I didn't realise the Wolves fullback would be on lemmy, but I don't think its surprising that he would tell you this
- nori sticks to itself like Saran wrap sticks to itself, but would nori stick to a tortilla?
  
  If it’s too wet it might need some time to dry, moist is best. Like this dry moist state when your laundry is tumble-dried not quite to your liking.

I feel like nori would work, no?
- Right? Japan has only been doing this for 1,200 years or so.
  
  Seems like the obvious answer.

On this episode of redundant inventions that already have a better solution...

"Edible" does not mean "good".
- The sticker on most fruits sold in American grocery stores that contains a bar code is nominally edible.
  
  My ass is nominally edible.
  
  I buy fruit just for the stickers. I eat the stickers and throw the fruit away. I do it on TikTok for views. I'm edgy like that.
  /s those were all lies that I just made up in my head. But I'm sure it's possible someone would do that.
  
  Om nom nominally

It’s called not using a cold ass tortilla

Uhhhhh, fuck no. Some children invented this shit back in 1999. It was on Figure it Out. How fucking dare you.
- Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
  Figure it Out
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  I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.
- Wtf Michelle Trachtenberg is in that?! I never really knew of her in those days I guess, not until Buffy onwards.

Call me up when they invent edible zippers.
- All zippers are edible if you're very careful
- Mmm, delicious

have good technique
really big tortillas
you can wrap it in foil
- If tortilla still isn't large enough, make larger.
  
  Or have 2 burritos.

Thank-fucking-science, it's about time

I remember an episode of figure it out on nickelodeon a long time ago that was exactly this.
YouTube
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  YouTube
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  I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

a properly constructed burrito is wrapped in aluminum foil and can be eaten, even while walking, without making a mess.
edible tape sounds like something with useful applications, but i am sad for the people who believe burritos require this.
- A proper burrito stays closed without foil, a steamed tortilla should get sticky enough.
  
  True but sometimes the tortilla rips open and the foil provides solid backup
- Kids in college found a novel problem and then developed a novel solution for fun.
  Made old man make old-man grumpy comment. Indeed, burritos were wrapped so tight in foil, they would walk themselves both ways uphill to burrito school in the snow without boots.
  I declare the Johns Hopkins students victorious!
  
  These college kids working at Chipotle is what got us into this mess!

Yeah, but now I can't open it up to make sure that no one cummed in my burrito...
- Free protein
- I didn't cum in your burrito! I wouldn't do that to you!
  
  Let's empty some cans!
- If that's a major concern I'd maybe recommend making your burrito.
- Cummed?

If your burrito doesn't stay closed, the person making your burrito had no idea what the hell they were doing. This is a Chipotle problem.
- Yeah
  I haven't been there in a few years but I stopped in recently and I was a bit dumbfounded when they guy burritoing up my food made it as spherical as possible
  
  Lol I reroll mine sometimes.

Who the fuck doesn't know how to hold a burrito?
- People with mobility issues for example... Not everything is made to solve issues of fully functional people
  
  Very true, it's mostly harmless, but people are quick to ridicule stuff without considering the useful applications for others- that if they think are dumb they can just not use. And it's usually the least annoying things. Straws, replacing cobbled sidewalks with asphalt or concrete, difficulty options in games, tab indentation, getting rid of historic trams/busses with high passenger areas, to name a few.

Corporate food has created unholy tasteless dry abominations called "tortillas". They have convinced Americans that this is what tortillas are. They have played us for absolute fools.
Real tortillas are freshly made wet dough immediately squished and cooked before forming burrito. They are delicious and sticky enough to hold on their own. It's perfect but not mass producible.
- How do I find this
  
  Make yourself, blow your mind wide open: https://youtube.com/shorts/uJgYDaFl6jo
  
  Pigup will probably cringe at this answer, but I found uncooked tortillas at the grocery store before. Definitely better than mission tortillas.

That's not a burrito, that's a clutch purse. Learn how to roll a burrito.

That looks like disgusting mold

I thought it said "invisible" tape, and I thought that was the dumbest idea ever.

This is why it's important to have a diverse college campus.

I haven't perfected the wrap, but I found toasting it slightly after wrapping holds it together and tastes better
- A little cheese welds it shut

I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit Wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit Wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew they wouldn't fit I wouldn't have got half of it Like, I'm okay with small mistakes If you've got no more chicken, I'll take pork But I'll blow my dad before I eat a burrito with a fork
- Hol' up, you hating on wet burritos? They're glorious.
  
  https://youtu.be/rYy0o-J0x20 Time: 3:10

Wait...
It's actually called Johns Hopkins? I thought it was John Hopkins and people were pluaralizing John in a weird attempt to be funny
- Johns Hopkins University is named after the guy that funded it at the beginning, Johns Hopkins. He was named after his grandfather, Johns Hopkins, whose first name was his mother's last name.
  So Johns Hopkins has two last names, but one of them is a first name.
- yeah
- That would be a very strange thing for news outlets to do.
- It's actually called Johns Hopkins?
  Named for Johns Hopkins, who got his first name from his mother's maiden name.
- I only know Jon Hopkins, fantastic music producer.

🎶 wouldn't a got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit🎶
- Wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew they wouldn't fit

Looks like a strip of mold. No thanks.
- That also looks like the saddest burrito, like it's been kept in a cage.

Good technique and a dab of water

Wow, I must be taking for granted the burrito jockeys in my city-- who has this problem?
Granted, that image looks like they were trying to make a burrito out of flat bread or some shit, does not look right.
- burrito jockeys
  Why does that sound like you mean a banana hammock

Dios mio..,

Do they not have hands? Even one hand could do

... just seal it with an oil and heat

Nobel Prize incoming

Panini press after wrapping it. It's a game changer.
It holds everything together and gives you a crispy tortilla. All around a superior experience.

This goes against the spirit of burrito eating. The mess is part of the fun.

The burrito bone's better.
- Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
  The burrito bone's better.
  Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
  I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

"Well, they keep shooting us for curing cancer, so..."

Not all heroes wear capes

Maybe they can use that tape to keep their mouth shut so none of us need to listen to them

Now we are solving real problems.

why? do they not have hands? what a fucking waste of research dollars.
- What do you expect food scientists to do?
  Not invent food things?
- bro relax it's just burrito tape

180 comments