Poor dude got accused of sexual harassment when he was trying to convey his love for human flesh.
104Love is love!
14I have a love for good looking men
1
Í wanteaux eaute yeaux
74I think this might be fake french.
Not enough accents on those letters.
18Yamedekudastop and seeyounara
5
This just reminded me of a time I, an American, was in France and some French dude tried to talk shit outside of a bar. He said, in a very French accent, "I ate l'Anglais". Please allow me to break down what is wrong with this sentence.
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First and foremost, I'm pretty sure he had not actually eaten anyone and instead was trying to communicate his strong dislike for me.
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He also started off the sentence in English, which was a brave effort, I must admit. Especially seeing how he never learned to pronounce the letter H in his English class (see point #1), this took real courage to attempt to talk shit in a language with which he clearly struggled. However, as you can see in the second half of his sentence, he reverted back to his native tongue, so I can't give him too much credit.
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Finally, "l'Anglais" is French for "the English". As I mentioned earlier, I am American, which is not the same as being English. We had a rather nasty war a few hundred years ago that settled the matter, but apparently they have not heard about that in all areas of France.
All in all, he had 3 major errors in a sentence that contained 4 words. 2 of the words be "I" and "l'".
14-
«Je veux te manger», je croirais.
30Its je crois
4In English, the phrase I was going for was "I would think". It's correct in English, and means mostly the same thing as "I think", with slightly different connotations. I'm not exactly sure how to verbalise what those connotations are, just that in this case it felt better. I think in this context it made it slightly more comical/sardonic?
Obviously, "je croirais" is the correct literal translation of "I would think". But does it not work to carry a similar connotation in French? And if not, is there some other phrase/conjugation of croire I could use to get across that tone?
Unfortunately my French knowledge is almost entirely academic, so knowing how to use it with more nuance than literal word-for-word changes is a bit beyond me, outside of where that is obviously academically inappropriate.
4
if youre friendly to said target: Je veux te manger
the polite way when referring to some stanger and you want to want eat them. Je voudrais vous manger
22What about something along the lines of:
J'ai envie manger toi.
?
Don't clown my lack of grammar pls
1J'ai envie de te manger
6Close! It would be more like:
J'ai envie de te manger.
Putting toi at the end doesn't make the person the recipient of the action.
3
*In the style of Nine Inch Nails*
🎶I wanna eat you like a cannibal🎵
22Why does my brain sing it in the tune of wrecking ball?! I specifically requested Nine Inch Nails!
4Haha I like this, too.
3
Cher ami, je veux te manger de façon cannibale. C'est à dire que je souhaite te dévorer, cru ou cuit, de manière litterale. S'il te plait n'y voit aucune utilisation du second degré ni une quelconque forme d'allusion sexuelle, j'ai trop de respect pour toi, bien que cela ne signifie pas pour autant que je sois insensible à tes charmes mais c'est un autre sujet.
Of course if the person is a women you would have to adapt a few words. Also if the person is not your friend change it to Madame or Monsieurs.
22Vas-y bouffe moi on s’en fout des termes, dévore moi!
2Et tu dois vouvoyer si le sujet n’est pas ton ami.
1
"I want you inside me ...for a determinated ammount of time"
20"I'd like to wrap my mouth around all the parts of your body."
11
J'accuse, mon petit fromage
8I see "fromage" and my mind instantly went to that one Dexter's Lab episode
8An entire generation ruined by one small segment of one small show. I do too lol
2It's weird how often I think about that episode.
1
I actually have an answer in song and animation for that!
https://youtu.be/rb-wk0ATuvI?si=l6p86Y1wDjTkHg2M
(It's "Je veux te manger le corps", I believe?)
6Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
https://piped.video/rb-wk0ATuvI?si=l6p86Y1wDjTkHg2M
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.
4What the fuck did I just watch?
2Yes, that will work its way into your dreams. I first heard that song in a documentary about nurses who help their severely disabled patients have sex. Just to add some more flavor to that video for you.
1
That reminds me... There was an exhibit called Body Worlds, not sure if it is still around. But my family was in Montreal and we decided to go, but it's Montreal so everything French and we got a kick out of its name "Le Monde du Corps" which I mean is much more straight to the point... but we all thought it was hilarious.
2
French isn't real lol
6Voulez-vous manger avec moi, ce soir?
5Tu est mon repas ce soir ;)
5Je veux languer ton trou de beignet jusqu'à ce que j'aspire toute la crème
4Mon Dieu!
4C'est très romantique mais OP veut manger pas aspirer de la crème.
3Il veut l’ingurgiter mais il a a été un peu timide sur la fin
1
Je voudrais mangez-vous, of course.
1If you're black: J'uanté tu choux ju une tradiçion des peuples moine de l'Congo (I'm sorry)
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