Italians are literally braver than cops
Italians are literally braver than cops
Roofers, landscapers, construction workers, garbage collectors, truck drivers and farmers are all in much more dangerous and essential occupations than those choosing to be police officers. Police officers just complain the loudest.
Police officers cause much more death in the population than they are subjected to "in the line of duty". They are net aggressors.
https://usafacts.org/articles/how-many-police-officers-die-in-the-line-of-duty/
40.
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Please don't rob us, we don't carry more than $20 in cash for a reason.
38For real!
3I was once told you rob a delivery man for his pizza not his cash as the police won't do shit for theft of pizza.
3Also, all we're expected to do in that situation is remake the pizza and deliver it. As long as no one is being hurt, I wouldn't mind someone just holding me up for the pizza, I guess.
3
15o7
7
The real most dangerous job is tree feller.
14If only being a NAFO Fella would be just as dangerous.
13Makes Normandy look like a tea party for sure.
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o7 anyone that brings me food.
13Pizza dudes should be the ones flashing the Punisher logo.
11The Deliverator belongs to an elite order, a hallowed sub-category. He's got esprit up to here. Right now he is preparing to carry out his third mission of the night. His uniform is black as activated charcoal, filtering the very light out of the air. A bullet will bounce off its arachno-fiber weave like a wren hitting a patio door, but excess perspiration wafts through it like a breeze through a freshly napalmed forest. Where his body has bony extremities, the suit has sintered armorgel: feels like gritty jello, protects like a stack of telephone books.
When they gave him the job, they gave him a gun. The Deliverator never deals in cash, but someone might come after him anyway–might want his car, or his cargo. The gun is a tiny, aero-styled, lightweight, the kind of a gun a fashion designer would carry; it fires teensy darts that fly at five times the velocity of an SR-71 spy plane, and when you get done using it, you have to plug it in to the cigarette lighter, because it runs on electricity.
-snowcrash
7I love many things about that book. Not the last among them is the author deciding to, and actually getting away with, naming the main character "Hiro Protagonist."
3
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1
Gardening is more dangerous than being a cop. It's not a high bar.
10All Calzone Are Beautiful
9Did 10yr on the streets slinging pies, I'm saving this.
8Ive heard of pizza shops refusing to hire women for deliveries, because in some places they might ask for a pizza, then kidnap and SA the delivery woman.
8I can't even imagine the mentality of thinking this contributes to the current conversation...
8Permanently Deleted
6
Somehow my first thought was... Snow Crash
7I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief.
“Bad news, detective. We got a situation.”
“What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?”
“Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.”
The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true economic freedom, not subject to arbitrary manipulation by any government. Do we have any leads?”
“Not yet. But mark my words: we’re going to figure out who did this and we’re going to take them down … provided someone pays us a fair market rate to do so.”
“Easy, chief,” I said. “Any rate the market offers is, by definition, fair.”
He laughed. “That’s why you’re the best I got, Lisowski. Now you get out there and find those bitcoins.”
“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m on it.”
I put a quarter in the siren. Ten minutes later, I was on the scene. It was a normal office building, strangled on all sides by public sidewalks. I hopped over them and went inside.
“Home Depot™ Presents the Police!®” I said, flashing my badge and my gun and a small picture of Ron Paul. “Nobody move unless you want to!” They didn’t.
“Now, which one of you punks is going to pay me to investigate this crime?” No one spoke up.
“Come on,” I said. “Don’t you all understand that the protection of private property is the foundation of all personal liberty?”
It didn’t seem like they did.
“Seriously, guys. Without a strong economic motivator, I’m just going to stand here and not solve this case. Cash is fine, but I prefer being paid in gold bullion or autographed Penn Jillette posters.”
Nothing. These people were stonewalling me. It almost seemed like they didn’t care that a fortune in computer money invented to buy drugs was missing.
I figured I could wait them out. I lit several cigarettes indoors. A pregnant lady coughed, and I told her that secondhand smoke is a myth. Just then, a man in glasses made a break for it.
“Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” I yelled.
Too late. He was already out the front door. I went after him.
“Stop right there!” I yelled as I ran. He was faster than me because I always try to avoid stepping on public sidewalks. Our country needs a private-sidewalk voucher system, but, thanks to the incestuous interplay between our corrupt federal government and the public-sidewalk lobby, it will never happen.
I was losing him. “Listen, I’ll pay you to stop!” I yelled. “What would you consider an appropriate price point for stopping? I’ll offer you a thirteenth of an ounce of gold and a gently worn ‘Bob Barr ‘08’ extra-large long-sleeved men’s T-shirt!”
He turned. In his hand was a revolver that the Constitution said he had every right to own. He fired at me and missed. I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back. The bullet lodged in a U.S.P.S. mailbox less than a foot from his head. I shot the mailbox again, on purpose.
“All right, all right!” the man yelled, throwing down his weapon. “I give up, cop! I confess: I took the bitcoins.”
“Why’d you do it?” I asked, as I slapped a pair of Oikos™ Greek Yogurt Presents Handcuffs® on the guy.
“Because I was afraid.”
“Afraid?”
“Afraid of an economic future free from the pernicious meddling of central bankers,” he said. “I’m a central banker.”
I wanted to coldcock the guy. Years ago, a central banker killed my partner. Instead, I shook my head.
“Let this be a message to all your central-banker friends out on the street,” I said. “No matter how many bitcoins you steal, you’ll never take away the dream of an open society based on the principles of personal and economic freedom.”
He nodded, because he knew I was right. Then he swiped his credit card to pay me.
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FWIW I'd take the statistic with a GIANT grain of salt because it
looks like bullshitabsolutely is bullshit lol. The Oppression Olympics gets old quick.The cherry picked data is coming from, a literal scuzzy Lawyer Group blog post misrepresenting data? All you have to do is look at row 3 on the 2nd image which I screenshot from the BLS to see that VAST MAJORITY of that statistic is from literal semi drivers. Not people driving 31 mph around town with your Taco Bell.
Out of the 1032 fatal driver injuries, 72 were from delivery drivers. 51 of which was from car accidents. 11 were from person/animal deaths. 10 are literally unexplained lol.
Someone else will have to extrapolate the estimate for total number of actual local food/restaurant delivery to deaths. Vs police officers (129/660,288 in 2021, 73 of which were feloniously killed... Somehow the BLS has zero listed lol.) to death.
There was a 16.3-percent increase in deaths for driver/sales workers and truck drivers which went up to 1,032 deaths in 2021 from 887 deaths in 2020. This was the primary factor behind the increase in fatalities to workers in transportation and material moving occupations which reached a series high in 2021"
Protective service occupations (such as firefighters, law enforcement workers, police and sheriff’s patrol officers, and transit and railroad police) had a 31.9-percent increase in fatalities in 2021, increasing to 302 from 229 in 2020. Almost half (45.4 percent) of these fatalities are due to homicides (116) and suicides (21). About one-third (33.4 percent) are due to transportation incidents, representing the highest count since 2016.
https://www.bls.gov/iif/fatal-injuries-tables/fatal-occupational-injuries-table-a-1-2021.htm - Industry
https://www.bls.gov/iif/fatal-injuries-tables/fatal-occupational-injuries-table-a-5-2021.htm - Occupation
https://www.bls.gov/news.release/pdf/cfoi.pdf
https://www.zippia.com/advice/most-murdered-jobs/
Edit: It is bullshit lol.
6Yeah, even when it comes to being a cop the most dangerous part is all the driving you do. Suicide is the number one killer for cops, then traffic incidents, then everything else. It's a difficult job, but it's not even in the top ten when it comes to dangerous jobs. The real difficultly is just dealing with people who refuse to be nice to you and lie constantly while you have to figure out what's going on. Nobody is happy to see a cop, and that's why he job sucks.
8Yep, even your first part has slowly been changing in recent years. With police calling off chases almost immediately, they're dying less in accidents. They've actually died more and more by felonious deaths than anything else in the more recent decade... They've almost always been shot more.
According to statistics reported to the FBI, 129 law enforcement officers were killed in line-of-duty incidents in 2021. Of these, 73 died as a result of felonious acts and 56 in accidents.
Five- and 10-year comparisons show an increase of 27 felonious deaths when compared with the 2017 figure (46 officers) and 25 when compared with 2012 data (48 officers).
https://nleomf.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Causes-Law-Enforcement-Deaths-2012-2022.pdf
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Italians do the delivery?... In Italy I guess? I can't say I've seen many italiands delivering pizza where I live
5how do you know their mafias don't stretch everywhere? i bet the delivery guys are secret agents on behalf of the gov (mafia <3 government).
i guess you are contractually obliged to get italian citizenship to do a pizza delivery
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Thats because cops are trained to kill.,. They kill more than 1000 using guns in USA each year (that doesn't include chokings and other methods)
5But what if you are an Italian cop?
3ACAB
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What does being Italian have to do with pizza delivery safety lol?
Also, I don't care if being a cop is the most dangerous job in the world, fuck 'em in the eye with a cold spoon.
2It is a joke mate. Everyone knows italians aren't real.
12Is this "paisan" in the room with us right now?
6
That must be extra embarassing for the cops since all Italians are notorious cowards.
2I think in America there are Italians that own the cops.
1How do jobs get ranked on level of danger?
Just deaths? Any injury at all? Violent altercations?
What is the metric?
1It's not a competition! Also, cops have a way more important job
1Wouldn’t this be skewed because police have more equipment to avoid death? And training to avoid death?
I’d hope they die less.
1This seems racist against Italians, but you're still factually correct.
-2It's not a competition! Also, cops have a way more important job
-6Didn’t realize killing Black people was an “important job.” Though I guess in a white supremacist apartheid state that does track
18Fuck off
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Lol teehee don't we all just 💕💕💕💕 them?
I mean the guy who risks his life to delivery me food, not the fucking pigs
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17Permanently Deleted
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Would it have anything to do with police officers having training and tools that are specifically used to avoid injury and death?
It would be like saying swimming in a kiddie pool is more dangerous than scuba diving, because every year 400 kids drown in their backyard and only 80 scuba divers die per year.
Obviously scuba diving is more dangerous on paper, but those who partake in that activity have equipment and training specifically to not die.
-9Would it have anything to do with police officers having training and tools that are specifically used to avoid injury and death?
Maybe for themselves but they sure do cause injury and death to others. And besides, most officer on the job deaths are from eating too many donuts and getting cardiac failure (which pretty much all the "death on the job" stats for police conveniently avoid mentioning)
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