Ok, so half of the pick up artists I followed in my late teens were genuine sociopaths, but the great ones were just teaching deep introverted and confused guys how to socialize with people in general.
To be honest I doubt I would be married or have such healthy friendships if I hadn’t learned some of those skills that most people seem to pick up naturally in high school.
8Laughs in minding my own business but being alone because I don't initiate
7Slightly in tangent. But I think problem of finding a partner these days is that most of it now happens online, though dating apps. And they are a breeding ground of the most shallow and judgemental viewpoints in human history.
I forget the exact statistics, but according to some dating app, men swipe "yes" to like 60-something percent of the women. Women on the other hand swipe yes to like 4%. At a glance, while that does have a large disparity, you just think... Oh, women are more selective. And I think that's fine and they should be. But problem is that all other women are selecting the same guys. So the top tier men, whether in looks, height and/or wealth are banging 100s of women. While the bottom majority of men are never getting any matches. From the woman's perspective, every man they date is a cheater. That's obvious, these guys have girls lined up as far as the eye can see. They have zero reason to settle with you. From majority of the men's perspective, they never get any matches or get constantly ghosted and get angry. Majority of men don't cheat, frankly they don't even have the opportunity to cheat.
Men get angry at incredibly high standard of women which keep rising since women doesn't have problem sleeping with men higher in social ladder, albeit briefly. And women get angry at incredibly high number of guys who are just there for sex and have no interest in you as a person.
In real life, you see people first, build an understanding about them and start consider dating. If you know that guy is a cheater, a woman wouldn't pick them. A guy could go up and get to know them instead in dating app world where seemingly every woman ghosts you.
I think dating apps are ruining the "finding a partner" problem.
6Probably
2Man I'd hate being a young man today.
Guys are put in a position where they have to put themselves out there and face rejection. it's obviously becoming harder to connect with women given that a larger and larger percentage of men under 21 report being virgins every year.
Then as a result of being in this sad but common position you get told that it's all your fault and you're a shitty person.
I think I would have just ended up killing myself if I was a teenager today.
1Yes BUT...there is a difference between platonic socialization and flirting/courtship. Some people can flirt naturally. Some people have to learn it. Some people can't turn it off. Which is why blanket advice for how to treat other people isn't particularly helpful.
So yes, most PUAs are creepy and gross. But also, for those who don't understand flirting innately, it's not like there are a ton of obvious reputable resources available on how to do it. And some PUAs do explain some of the key bits of psychology behind flirting. Things like tension and release, light teasing, managing eye contact, reading body language, escalating physical touch...things that you should be approaching differently if you're trying to flirt with someone vs being friendly. Things that people expect you to do if you're interested in them, that aren't inherently obvious.
And I say this as an ASD guy who confused a LOT of girls in high school by not courting them like I was "supposed" to, then started doing real research in my 20s into things like body language, flirting styles, love languages, attachment styles, etc, and coming to a lot of epiphanies about how stupid I had been, and am now in my 30s reasonably successful at dating.
For those curious on some actual resources, The Definitive Book of Body Language and The Five Flirting Styles are good places to start on learning the differences between platonic and romantic socialization!___
-1
