1y ago

Disturbingly accurate

56 comments

MASSIVE Dwarven energy. This image is the closest you're going to get to seeing a bunch of children of the mountain sitting in their tavern, discussing their metalworking (hobby cars and bikes) and drinking brews that could atomize a human liver with a single sip.
Anyways I think these guys are cool

POV : You are overpriced artisional consumer product that has been locally produced.
- POV: You are a burger with $2 worth of ingredients sold for $15 and served on a wooden plank
  
  I mean at this point with inflation I think that's just a big Mac on a McDonald's chip board table.
- So true.

These are also the guys that brew my coffee and look at me weird if I put cream in it.
- I am on their side. Do what you want, it's your coffee, you have to like it, but we do what we want, we silently judge.

In a peak hipster move, they’re all married to each other to get a tax break on the most expensive loft in the Greenpoint neighborhood in Brooklyn.
- They keep insisting it’s totally ironically though and they’re, in fact, not gay.
  
  They also probably run their own men’s skincare line, with names like “Face Mud” and “Beard Grease” as not to offend anyone’s “masculinity”, but it’s actually very fancy and couture with organic, fair-trade ingredients, produced by hand, on their roof.
- "Monogamy? In this economy?"
  
  In the best of NYC tradition, they’re all committing benefits fraud by registering each other with the city as dependants so they all collect $5K/month in SNAP and $2K/month in Cash Assistance. Each. Their loft is rent controlled, and the city pays 100% of rent and utilities. They all have free health insurance, paid by the city of New York.

Ok, that bald dude is ROCKING the look.

The car park is full of Volvo 740's Café Racer motorbikes and fixed gear bicycles

In the PNW at least, faces like that also crafted the beer. Ashes to ashes, beard to beard.
- Was gonna say, these guys look like my neighbors, my sisters husbands, and co workers.
  These guys look like me...
  Aw fuck!
  
  You're your sister's husband? Wouldn't that put you quite a distance southeast of the PNW?
- Hops to malt

Personally I feel like the guy taking the photo and the bald guy might be nice to hang out with based on vibes

Nobody told these gents that there is such a thing as having too much personality.
- No such thing. Live out loud, grow a big beard if you want.

Guy in the beard in the bottom left corner pulling some serious Ian Mythic Quest vibes

Beards are ruined now for a spell. I should shave mine.
- Nah, just don't trim it and let it get proper bushy

Me and the boys

But they're not fat?
- They’re bears

I feel attacked.
- I didn’t say anything negative about them.

Bald with a huge beard is such a weird look. Big compensation vibes.
- Attacking a hairstyle is such a weird thing. Big compensation vibes.
  
  People have been taking the piss out of other people's hair since the stone age, what's weird about it?
- Maybe they have hair loss and like the way they look with a beard. Everything doesn't have to mean something else. It's not your style obviously, but no need to be judgemental.
- I feel very personally attacked
  You see, the beard not only hides part of my face (which doesn’t hurt), it also provides a visual contrast that without hair on my head is sorely missing. Completely shaven looks like a weird human bowling ball, all smooth and featureless.
  
  Hey man don't hate on the Mr. Clean fit
  
  What's weirder, a bowling ball, or a bowling ball with a beard
- "Huge tits with an ugly face/makeup with no tits? big compensation vibes!"
  See how that's a braindead take?
- If I didn't have a beard I look like a q-tip. Not my fault I didn't have hair on the top.
- The beard is there to hide the jawline. The baldness is because bald.
  
  Men don't go bald, their hair just migrates south for the winter.
- I think its hot.
  
  I appreciate that you're able to read an opinion and simply provide your own, without being personally offended and feeling a need to assert your perceived moral righteousness.
  I wish you the best of luck in finding a bearded bald dude that you like.
- Are you messing with the fantasy dwarves?
- Haha, my favorite description of that style is "wearing your hair upside-down"
- I just tend to associate this style with right-wingers at least in my area, so I distance myself a bit.
  Personally I think the long beard look is unkempt and a bit of a fad and a bitch to deal with from a functional standpoint; meanwhile it looks like they're about to fly to Afghanistan to join the Taliban. To each their own though.
- It's a red flag round here... honestly anyone with a large beard, it's strike 1

56 comments