Favorite War Story

Everyone's got a favorite "war story" to bust out when it's story time. What's your go-to?

One of mine is the time I picked up some dude who slammed a brand new bottle of hydrocodone to try and keep from going to jail. They'd just picked up the bottle when he popped the lid off and just downed the whole thing in front of his family, who (rightly) freaked out and drove straight to the nearest fire station. By the time we got there, dude was on the dark side of the moon. We get the story, do an initial, take over bagging, drop 2 of narcan in his nose, load and go. I know this guy, he's going to be a jerk about it, and I don't to allow him the lattitude that he'll have at the scene. So, five minutes pass, IV's in, re-assess to find no change. Shocker. I dump another 2 in the line. Nothing. Well, shit. Re-assess to make sure I didn't miss anything, and opiates are still the best explanation. tl;dr we have a long transport time, so I end up making base contact a couple of times and finally dump the tenth mg of narcan in the line as we roll up to the receiving facility. We get inside, tell the hospital what's going on, transfer him over, and the dude jerks awake. He sits bolt upright, tells the doc "take your hands off me, {bundle of sticks}", grabs the NPA out of his nose, and then slings it into the corner of the room as hard as he can with an almighty "FUCK!"

Everybody piles out of the room and sort of awkwardly stands there, waiting for security to show up. While we were waiting, I remembered it was EMS week, so I asked the nurses if this meant I could have my shirt now. They said no :c