OPs dad is furious that his mom slept with other people in an open marriage dad wanted.

I am NOT OP. Post by u/ThrowAway_chosen on r/TrueOffMyChest.

My dad is furious that my mom slept with other people in an open marriage he wanted.

My parents got married when they were super young. My dad knocked up my mom, and their parents married them off. My grandfather was able to set up some business for my dad in a big city, and they moved here soon after my birth.

My mom grew up in a conservative southern town where she was taught to be a submissive wife. And even after moving to the big city, she didn’t spend much time socializing. She had no friends and never went out. My dad was only there to provide for us. He was always away on business, and he wasn’t there as a husband for my mom or as a father to me.

My dad made a lot of money, so we never lacked anything. Growing up, I became my mom’s best friend. We would talk about everything. I pushed her to make friends and to find hobbies. After years of pushing, she started going to a nearby park and made her first friend, a gym trainer. Encouraged by her friend and me, she decided to join the gym.

She met a few more people there and started having some semblance of a social life, but she still continued to tell me everything.

I think my dad’s new secretary gave him the idea, but he asked my mom for an “open marriage” almost a year ago. He told her he wasn’t happy in their marriage and that she wasn’t providing him with everything he wanted. My mom, who is a “christian wife”, was mortified and told me about the proposal in tears. I suggested she get a divorce, but she said she didn’t believe in it and she wouldn’t be the one to end their marriage.

As my dad pushed, I knew exactly where this would end up if my mom agreed. Her friend and I convinced her. My mom was hesitant at first, but she agreed with the condition that they would be completely transparent with each other.

My dad was a middle aged (41) man with a belly and my mom (39) was an athletic woman who worked out regularly. I’m a 22 yo woman btw. I don’t know how my dad was so blind or what he thought would happen. I helped create online dating profiles for my mom almost six months ago. After getting an insane number of matches, choosing from them and chatting with them for months, my mom started hooking up with a few people. Getting all this attention has provided a massive boost to her confidence and she seems better.

My dad hooked up with his secretary almost immediately. He’s had very little luck with other ladies. With their transparency thing, my mom tells him about all her hook ups. A few weeks ago, my dad screamed at my mom for some minor thing. Usually, my mom would’ve apologised but with her new confidence, she didn’t back down.

It’s been constant fights the last few weeks. My dad keeps starting fights by making snide remarks about my mom’s clothing or appearance. He almost even called my mom a whore but stopped himself. I think “open marriage” finally sunk in. My mom told me he tried to have a conversation about stopping their “open marriage” but she immediately shot it down. I think they’ll split up.

My dad was never there for either of us but the thought of my parents splitting up still feels weird. I don’t feel bad for my dad but I wish he put effort into his family. I’m happy for my mom though.

Update: (18 April, 2022)

A few days after my previous post, my dad left our home and had a divorce served to mom in a week. My grandparents didn’t know about any of this, but my dad told them when he served the divorce. He also implied to them that my mom was cheating on him. Both sets of grandparents came to our home and started berating my mom. I kept screenshots of all my parents’ communications, and my mom showed them to them and it got way worse after that. Grandparents started fighting each other blaming each other’s children for causing all this.

A few days after this, my mom’s old “church friends” came to our home. Back when my mom used to go to church, they used to look down on her for being from a small town. My mom has always been a very caring and non-judgemental person, so she disagreed with their bigotry and they began excluding her from their activities. After she met her gym friends, my mom stopped going to church entirely. These “church friends” started calling my mom a slut and she kicked them out.

My mom is on a cut right now, so she has very defined abs and arms. So along with all the normal stuff getting thrown at her, my grandparents accused her of having a “man body” and she also had a lot of random transphobia thrown at her. Her trainer friend has been a great support through all this. She contacted the attorney she used for her divorce and my mom is spending a lot of time at her house.

Turns out, the business my dad is running is owned by mom. It was set up by my mom’s dad in her name, so it belongs to her. I did not know this until now and assumed that my dad owned it. The whole situation is a huge mess right now. Dad is living in some hotel and my grandparents left yesterday after a week of fighting and trying to force my parents back together. I know there’s a lot more divorce drama to come but I hope it calms down for now.

Reminder: I am NOT OP. OP is u/ThrowAway_chosen on r/TrueOffMyChest.