The whipping will continue until morale improves.
The whipping will continue until morale improves.
Im sure your therapist will help you cope with the situation. On your dime of course.
Giddy up buttercup.
if you're feeling over stressed then stop by our mental health station where you can have FIFTEEN MINUTES of PAID QUIET TIME as often as once per day AND a FREE CUPCAKE!!!
(quiet time and free cupcake vouchers require a one time signature of a release form stating that The Company provided you with free mental health counseling and are henceforth no longer liable for any future mental health issues you may experience in perpetuity)
LETS MAKE IT A GREAT DAY AT THE COMPANY!!!
49When I worked at an Amazon warehouse, they had signs in all the toilets telling us we could go and see someone if our mental health was bad. If someone’s mental health was bad it was probably due to their shitty management, work practices, or pay.
5In India, you get bonus SSRIs alongside your cupcake to keep you in line.
Courtesy, your friendly neighbourhood perpetually high psych
o(iatrist)4
HR has set this break aside for people to appreciate our corporate family, so get to it!
37You made another 100k for the company, here is 40$ worth of pizza for you not knowing the word union
20
9
Every corporate environment I’ve worked in would promote the horses to the whipping positions, and then outsource the cart-pulling to underpaid oxen from India.
20What we’re gonna do is fire two of the horses but the departments going to keep the same workload.
19When I worked as a cleaner at a supermarket I got moved to the evening shift which used to have two people who got laid off.
I was on my own and it quickly became apparent that the shift needs two people to actually get everything done. I pointed it out, but the section lead (incompetent nepohire who was literally kicked out of every other section for being a terrible leader) just decided I was being slow.
Even after I broke down the hour per hour workload, they just insisted I had to learn how to work faster. One "tip" they had was to just throw water everywhere and mop it up to save time. Let's not even get to the "mental health ping-pong table" they have.
Whenever I visit that supermarket today it still looks filthy.
18Yeah, when CEO's tell you they're "currently understaffed" or you just need to "work faster" chances are 90% they just want to cut down wage costs.
7If you aren’t overstaffed, you’re understaffed.
5
I did a few weeks for a using a bailer to crush cans. The team lead had worked out that you could do one pallet every 20 minutes. You could, if you did one pallet, but as you did more things backed up.
2
Have you tried... holding more meetings, where you can make a plan to plan to make a plan to make a plan to somehow magically get the work done?! 🪄🧙♂️
Failing to make a plan is planning to fail after all! End of sentence, certainly nothing more possibly needs to be added...
18Reminds me of Java
FactoryTemplateProducer.6ApplicationAwareCurrentConfigContext.getCurrentContext().getBean(BeanFactoryFactoryBean.class)
3
It's so true, it's not even funny.
16Those 3 extra drivers were originally mud cleaners
16But they sucked at cleaning the mud. Instead of firing them and increasing turnover, they promoted them to newly created positions and hired others at a lower wage to compensate for the wage increase of the newly minted Executive Mud Cleaners.
12
The obvious solution is for the horse to kick the driver's head to smithereens and appropriate the wagon.
7Should have started with 3 horses (problem), added a 4th (solution), then added the management and made it 2 horses (corporate).
7Lowe’s current corporate strategy in a nutshell
4