What happened with the sphinx though?
What happened with the sphinx though?
Transcription:
How To Confound A Centaur
Centaur: Hold it right there, you can't just ride through my fields uncontested! I'll lose my credibility if we don't battle or something.
Me: That's fair. How about we–
Centaur: And it can't be a pun battle, I heard what you did to the sphinx.
Me: Darn. Okay, what if I beat you in a horse race?
Centaur: Ha! Alright, your funeral. Where's the finish line?
Me: That tree over there. Where's your horse?
Centaur: (gestures at horsey backside) Um...?
Me: You're not a horse, this is a HORSE race. You have to race with an actual horse.
Centaur: You want me... a centaur... to RIDE a regular horse.
Me: That is, linguistically-speaking, what you agreed to.
Centaur: ...
Me: ...
Centaur: I hate you.
Me: That's fair.
----
Sphinx: You there, knight. I am the guardian of this place and cannot allow you to pass without a battle.
Me: My name is Ender, Sir Ender to you. And I'm a bit weary from my long journey here, would you accept a pun battle?
Sphinx: Aye, Sir Ender.
Me: Thank you, please move aside
154Is the Sphinx Scottish?
21To make the setup work, aye
21
In case you're serious with the sphinx question: in ancient Greek myth the entrance to the city of Thebes was guarded by a sphinx who would only let you through if you could solve a riddle, otherwise the sphinx would eat you. Which riddle that would be changes from story to story but the most famous one is along the lines of "What creature walks on four legs in the morning, two at noon and three in the evening?". This was eventually solved by king Oedipus who realized it was a human who crawls as a baby, walks on two legs as an adult and needs a walking stick as a third leg when they're old. Depending on which version you read, the sphinx was either so shocked by him solving the riddle that it threw itself from a cliff or was simply slain by him.
54“What creature walks on four legs in the morning, two at noon and three in the evening?”
Traveler: Me, when I wake up with a hangover in the morning, sober up by noon, then get so much withdrawal that I need a walking cane on my way to the bar again in the evening.
Sphinx: You need help?
31Depending on which version you read, the sphinx was either so shocked by him solving the riddle that it threw itself from a cliff or was simply slain by him
omg this part I did not know. I just thought it...let him pass.
But anyway, what does that have to do with the "pun battle" as posed in this story?
27Well, you could consider the solution to the riddle a pun though that's quite a stretch. Though there is at least one modern rendition (in German) that directly uses a more pun-ny solution. It does't quite translate to English but I'll try. Basically, Oedipus thinks and thinks until he starts to complain "Ach Mensch..." which is roughly equal to English "Oh boy..." but "Mensch" is literally the German for "human" so it's the right solution and the sphinx has to accept it. If you understand German, I highly recommend checking out this version. It's "König Ödipus" by Bodo Wartke. He plays all roles himself on a mostly empty stage with only a couple of props and it's absolutely hilarious. The sphinx is a lion hand puppet.
Edit: for anyone interested, here's a youtube clip of the scene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DogC57ZJuY8 (German with German subtitles)
25
“What creature walks on four legs in the morning, two at noon and three in the evening?”
A kobold. In the morning it scurries around on all fours, trying to get everything in order before its master wakes up. At midday, it stands at attention before its master. By the evening, it gets tired and leans on its tail a bit.
14I can confirm this to be correct.
6
When you least expect it, a horse-riding centaur...
salsa - https://www.deviantart.com/himerosy/art/DnD-Centaur-Mechanics-BaalBuddy-Colorized-911737977
36Clickbait YouTube title:
"Can you beat D&D using only Charisma?"
36This pedant is hated my every fantastical creature in the realm.
33The Fey Hate This One Trick!
4
Is it gross if a centaur borks a regular horse?
14And if the answer to that is yes...is it more or less gross than if the centaur borked a human?
17Apply the Harkness test (self aware intelligence, physical maturity, and ability to communicate consent). Both humans and centaurs pass assuming the individual is a willing adult, horses fail twice due to being nonsapient and uncommunicative.
12
Sphinx was probably riddled with puns in that exchange.
8Dog racing is dogs running without a rider. I'm sure there have happened riderless horseracing before. I spot a fault in the logic!
6Riderless horseracing maybe, but surely never horseless horseracing.
10