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  • From what I’ve seen it’s a bell curve most of the time. People grow up and stop being little twats and eventually get to the point where they start to become big twats.

  • I think people become more dead set in their views but less likely to be outright assholes about them. I think its a combination of lack of energy to be a dick and a dwindling social circle focused on quality relationships over quantity.

    Some people will always be assholes though, but the fast majority don't have character disorders.

    • I agree, but I think it REALLY depends on the person. My family 1000% proves that people only get worse with age. People that were assholes to begin with, only become bigger assholes as they get older, and less capable. Especially if they were "super independent" before. That also seems to hold true, in my experience, for people who were very independent and suddenly lost that, regardless of how they were before. Narcissism seems to increase exponentially too.

      I also have some much older friends (like 80s and 90s older), who were always really good people, and are still just honest, down to earth, good people, just a little needier.

      I guess what I'm saying is that people don't tend to change, and the person they were as an adult is only amplified as they age, from what I have seen.

      • This is my experience as well. I think I've seen it expressed as "people become more like themselves as they age." For good or bad. This has helped me learn to lower my expectations when it comes to people.

  • I would sure hope so. If I look at myself (since that's where I have context) I'd say yes. I think a lot of the shittiness in people's personalities stems from trying to meet their needs (some of them unreasonable) and competing with everyone else to get them. That's a very me versus you mentality which leads to aggression and forms bad personality traits.

    I'd like to say that everyone begins to understand wants versus needs after a few decades, and settles down into a pattern of contentment rather than resentment.

    That's just not true though, is it?

  • Not necessarily. The opposite might happen as people age but never deal with their real problems. Then the problems grow and they become even twatier than before. If anything, kids are the nicest until about 5th grade which is when they learn how to be assholes from adults around them.

55 comments