There’s no wattage on the 4090. 175W 4080 will outperform 150W 4090, though the 4090 has more ram, which is making this trickier.
Personally I’d take the 4080. Although I use my laptop for more things than game. More vertical pixels are nice for code editing. You’re not going to max all settings on the most recent games on either anyway.
It depends on what you plan on doing with it.
Personally, I would go with the 4090 since it's the best mobile GPU out there and 165 Hz is fast enough for 99% of people. The lower resolution is a bit of a downgrade, but at that scale you most likely won't notice much of a difference.